Worst Dating App Mistakes, Online Dating Advice For Women

Online Dating Tips For Women: Mistakes Women Make In Online Dating, Online Dating Guys To Avoid, Online Dating Advice For Women, Dating App Advice For Women

Even with the straightforward setup of dating apps, many people keep repeating assumptions over and over again and fail to learn from their mistakes.

Despite easily racking up likes and matches, these effortless signs of interest often mean nothing or don’t result in effort with respect to conversations and dates.

Below are some helpful tips and online dating advice to understand behavior, best practices, and etiquette, as well as what your profile and communication style signal to others. Learning how to online date as a woman will help you be more efficient and save lots of time. While this guide will help you, everyone’s situation is unique and there is nothing quite like 1 on 1 coaching to get the most out of dating apps.

Related read: This Is Why You Are Still Single

Online Dating Advice For Ladies, Tips For Online Dating For Women

Simple questions like should women initiate online dating first moves and conversations are something that should be thought about as competition is stiff for quality men.

Chances are if you are really interested in a man, so are other women and if you are lazy, indirect, ambiguous, too cute or lack effort, your likes and matches will go nowhere or worst, guys will take this as a sign that you are open to something casual which is fine if you are, but most women are not.

Related read: Worst Bumble Bios For Women

Online Dating Guide For Ladies: Red Flags, Warnings – Online Dating Guys To Avoid

This post is all about helping women be more proactive in their dating lives, helping them take control and alerting them of the deception that plague dating apps, profiles and intent.

Many women assume too much of guys, apps, intentions, words and swipes. Knowing these common mistakes and red flags will save lots of headaches, frustration and time so you can focus on what’s important.

Related read: Online Dating Creeps

Online Dating Tips For Women: Too Many Group Photos In Dating Profiles

Using too many group photos, especially in your main profile photo can be seen as being insecure about your appearance (guess who) or utilizing the cheerleader effect to make yourself seem more attractive (it doesn’t work). It will likely yield an automatic left swipe on your profile from men.

Guys want to know who you are, what you look like. They are visual creatures and will be fixated on your hot friend if you use too many group shots.

Lack of individual photos can signal insecurity (your only personality exists in the context of friends) and that you are uncomfortable in your own skin. Golden rule of group photos: the hottest girls in the photos are usually the friends.

Related read: Using Dating Apps As A Woman

Using Filters, Photoshopping Images, Wearing Sunglasses – Online Dating Rules For Women

Hiding behind Snapchat filters, emojis, skin-softening effects and sunglasses is not only annoying, it’s deceptive and a waste of time. It signals insecurity and makes one wonder – what else are you hiding? Be you, be confident in your own skin.

Yes, privacy issues are a major concern on dating apps for women, but if you are too nervous or scared, you shouldn’t be on dating apps to begin with.

Related read: Using Dating Apps As A Man

Biased Advice From Friends and Family, Surrounding Yourself With Cheerleaders

Many women rely on friends or family for advice on photos to use in dating profiles. It’s great to seek advice, but often times friends either lack the ability to be brutally honest with you or they have context other people (strangers don’t). Just because your photo on Instagram got lots of likes, doesn’t mean it should be used in your dating profile.

Plenty of superficial photos get likes on IG but fail to provide insight, personality or depth about you, who you are or what you seek. Similarly, such superficial photos can signal you are not interested in anything serious.

Rather than rely on people you know, get advice from strangers similar to the ones you are trying to attract. Check out my dating profile critique service that explores profiles, photos and strategy.

Too many women surround themselves with cheerleaders – those that pump you up, those that back up your decisions, or those that say the things to make you feel good. You need people in your life that will be brutally honest with you.

Guys do a great job of having the independent, unbiased friend who will be brutally honest with them and without having to ask for it. Women need this too. If you surround yourself with cheerleaders or come off as someone who is unable to handle the truth, you will live your life in a bubble.

Taking Photos From Weird, High Angles, Using Old Photos – Dating Site Tips For Women

Those weird high angles are not fooling anyone. These images have a special term, but I will not repeat it here.

Photos from high angles suggest you are trying to make yourself look slimmer than you actually appear in person. Your photos should accurately depict what you would look like on a date now, not 10 years ago.

Dating app photos should be 2-3 years old AND reflect your current weight, hair color, hairstyle, grooming patterns, etc. Less than 5% of people who say they look younger than they appear actually do look that way. They are lying or have friends who are biased and unwilling to be brutally honest and are lying to them.

Women Lying About Age Or Having Kids On A Dating Profile – Dating Rules For Women

It doesn’t matter what you look like relative to your age or if you feel youthful. Lying about your age shows a sense of insecurity or inability to trust someone. Do you really want to be with someone who is going to care about a few years of difference in age? Do you?

Similarly, not disclosing you have kids is a huge red flag. Sure you will get fewer likes, matches but not being upfront will drive away good guys who have been burned in the past. Sure, guys do this too but you can only control you, you have to give people the benefit of the doubt and be able to be a bit vulnerable.

Narcissistic, Staging Cringy Photos, Glazed Zombie Look & Duckfaces

Excessive selfies, photos of you in bikinis and photos of you with duck faces are a huge red flag. These suggest lack of friends or lack of trust to let others take photos of you.

Narcissistic ‘perfect’ photos of you suggest you spend too much time in front of the camera and the whole purpose of going to places is for the gram (Instagram photo). Photos should be candid, effortless and in the moment.

People want to know how you look day to day, not just one percent of the time with the perfect lighting, perfect angle, perfect backdrop. These photos only attract guys who want to chase you, deploy pickup lines and are looking for a hookup. Guys will only have as much respect for you as you do for yourself.

Lazy Prompts, Empty Bios, Lacking Vulnerability, Substance, Cliche Prompts

Leaving profile prompts blank or using generic, cliche responses shows lack of effort and boring lifestyle. Guys will assume you are lazy, unable to be vulnerable, lack personality and substance or are trying way too hard to be cute.

Listing an Instagram handle in your profile will lead people to assume you are only looking for Instagram followers, attention, validation etc. Similarly, cliche answers like Jim and Pam Office references, pineapple on pizza or Netflix answers reveal absolutely nothing about you and make it harder for quality men to start conversations with you.

Stop trying to be cute and be yourself for a change. Many women avoid showing emotions, passions and personality as a rejection can seem more personal, direct.

Not Specifying What You Want, Sounding Jaded, Dismissive; High Value Woman Dating Profile

No hookups, no players, no guys under 6 feet tall. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having preferences and deal-breakers but listing what you don’t want will make you sound untrusting, judgmental and possibly invite the exact people you are trying to avoid in an attempt to get past your defensive shields.

It also suggests an inability to screen profiles and read people and, in a way, asking people to politely bow out if they don’t meet your requirements (good look with doing that on Tinder).

Rather than focus on what you don’t want, focus on what you want in your life. Be positive, focused. By sounding negative, you will also dismiss quality men who think you have trouble keeping drama out of your life. With that said, you can’t just wish for things to happen.

You need to learn how to screen profiles, read people, be patient, ask questions and trust people. Some guys will lie through their teeth to get you into bed, but it’s up to you to be patient, get to know people if you want to minimize being ghosted, dumped after sleeping with a guy too soon.

How Do You Tell A Guy You Don’t Do Hookups, How To Use Dating Apps As A Woman

Using this in your profile may cause the opposite effect, as men might assume you are incapable of screening profiles and people yourself and target you for hookups. Better to say what you want rather than what you don’t want and come off as jaded, distrusting.

Similarly, quality men who want a relationship might view you similarly and avoid you for the same reasons but also for sounding dismissive, negative and untrusting.

You can reinforce this intent with what you convey in your photos, the type of dates you accept or reject, how you carry yourself and how confident you carry yourself.

A genuine, thoughtful guy would never pressure you into a hookup quickly as they typically value women more if there is a chase or more effort involved to become intimate.

Do Men Actually Read Your Dating Profile? Online Dating Guys To Avoid

Don’t assume so. Many guys look just at photos (if that). Don’t assume a guy has outed himself based on what you seek or deal-breakers listed. Lots of men volume swipe right for efficiency and then focus on those profiles they are most interested in.

Women Making The First Move: Initiating Conversations, Opening Lines On Dating Apps

Many women are too nervous, insecure or lazy with making the first move on dating apps. Some attribute this to being old-fashioned or wanting to be pursued.

Guess what, if you wait for men to pursue you on dating apps, you will likely get bombarded by guys you are not interested in / attracted to or guys who rely on the volume approach with likes and generic lines.

Dating apps have more men than women and if you are not interested in 80-90% of the guys on them, why wait to sift through unwanted messages.

Be a driver in your life, don’t be a passenger. Women who make the first move are rewarded by weeding out time-wasters more efficiently. But if you do take the initiative, don’t rely on generic, cliche and boring lines like hi, hey, what’s up, why did you swipe right on me etc.

Upgrading to premium accounts on dating apps like Bumble only to wait to see who likes you means that you are missing out on some quality men that might take a while to even see your profile.

Why Do Men Not Respond On Bumble? Bumble No Reply After First Message

Matches mean nothing. The idea is to get off apps sooner than later and go on dates. In most cases, people assume that to be a few days or few weeks at max.

This is a classic mistake women make on dating apps – waiting for time wasters. Focus on those that match your effort, enthusiasm, etiquette, responsiveness. Don’t try to figure out what happened or put your life on hold for a stranger you have not met.

Related read: No Reply On Dating Apps

Why Did He Stop Messaging Me On Bumble? Why Do Guys Stop Messaging On Bumble?

If you are on the app long enough, you will encounter instances where guys simply stop messaging or unmatch on apps like Hinge and Bumble.

This could be for several reasons including: they don’t think you are eager to meet up, don’t think you are looking for something casual possibly, they met someone else, they were in town and left, or they thought you are only interested in being chat buddies.

He likely lost interest or met someone else or figured you were not into hooking up. Just move on.

Being Too Picky On Dating Sites: Signs You Are Picky On Dating Apps (Hinge, Bumble)

Guys are not nearly as picky as women are when it comes to dating. They are more comfortable dating younger women, shorter women, women who don’t have advanced degrees, women who don’t work blue collar jobs and women of color.

Being too picky greatly reduces your chances of success, as women want a ready-made boyfriend rather than investing time and effort into uncovering hidden gems. Similarly, dating apps don’t always capture answers perfectly nor do people always fit into perfect boxes so you may be filtering them out prematurely.

I am not saying you should lower your standards but what I am saying is learning to be more patient and avoid focusing on the guys that use cheesy pickup lines, over the top comments or rehearsed negs will allow you to open up your dating pool.

Most guys who are too confident, too smooth often have the most options and know they can get away with more. If you focus on what you want to hear only, you will more likely attract men who will indulge your need for compliments, acts of affection and attention.

Learn to evaluate personality, effort, sincerity rather than just attention, words and the way he makes you feel.

Assuming Too Much Out Of Likes And Matches, Carrying Conversations

Just because a guy swipes right on you on a dating app, doesn’t mean he likes you, wants to talk to you or even go on a date with you.

Some guys swipe right on every woman and then focus on women that are most eager to meet them, those they are most attracted to or those that are the most flirtatious and likely to sleep with them.

Why doesn’t he reply or messages me is one of the most Googled phrases women search for on the internet. Why do you put your life on hold for a guy who has exerted nothing more than a flick of his finger on this screen?

Similarly, some women get too fixated on a guy that they don’t realize they are always starting conversations, carrying conversations with longer, more thoughtful responses. They tend to believe in lies like I hate typing, texting let’s meet up after 3 messages.

Do Guys Really Swipe Right On Everyone? Do Guys Read Dating Profiles?

Unfortunately, yes, many do swipe right on everyone and some guys don’t read dating profiles nor do they acknowledge deal-breakers/preferences.

Using The Wrong Dating Apps & Sites, Being Too Trusting & Assuming You Can Change Him

Yes, you can meet the guy of your dreams on Tinder just like you can get dumped by a player on Bumble. Dating apps are merely introduction apps, they are not ordering apps.

Men on Tinder are more likely to want something casual than guys on Coffee Meets Bagel, but that doesn’t mean a guy will take what he can get or lose interest if you sleep with him quickly, easily.

That also doesn’t mean a guy can have a relationship or marriage focused profile on Bumble or Hinge and have a hookup profile on Tinder.

Women tend to deflect blame on men or apps rather than use good judgment when it comes to screening profiles and reading people.

A video chat will help prove accuracy of photos. Getting to know someone over time before sleeping with him will minimize the chance he will leave after having sex with you.

Similarly, some women read into words (aka love bombing) too much. Just because a guy says he loves you quickly, says you are perfect or wants to go away on a romantic trip with you doesn’t mean he wants exclusivity.

Similarly, if he avoids topics about exclusivity, long-term plans or doesn’t want to have kids, don’t assume he will change or that you can change him.

Getting Too Attached Easily, Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men

Many women make the mistake of getting attached too easily for a guy who seems perfect (checks off all the boxes) or pursue guys that don’t match effort, etiquette, responsiveness and enthusiasm – this is basic online dating etiquette.

Many women try to win men over or assume the physical stuff means he is also able to offer you the emotional stuff as well.

Express a desire to see him but don’t drop everything for him right off the bat – he hasn’t done anything to warrant that prioritization in your life. Just because a man has done well for himself in his career or has lots of friends doesn’t mean he will be a great boyfriend, partner.

Don’t hope for things to get better or expect him to change – if he doesn’t do this on his own, he won’t do it period (or he might say he will to get you to back off). Sustained actions, intent, support and prioritization over words.

Rejection is tough and some women invest themselves too much rather than break up with someone who is not right for them. The thought of being single or starting over again can be enough to try to make things work.

Some women view failure worse than being lied to. This is why it’s important to continue to live your life, make friends and be independent rather than waiting around for his every word, text and call.

Online Dating Advice For Women: How To Successfully Navigate Dating Apps

Most women have enough good photos but fail to use their best photos or use photos that are too polished, filtered, photoshopped or fail to convey vulnerability.

In addition to poor photo choices, lazy profiles, bios and introductory lines are a common theme I see as well. The other biggest hurdle I see is a failure to screen profiles effectively, read people and being too picky.

In my coaching services, I work with women to unlock these and other roadblocks that get in the way of meeting quality people, being ready to be open and vulnerable and knowing how to ID red flags and cut things off more quickly.

Don’t rely on biased feedback and advice from friends who look different than you and have different lifestyles and preferences than you. Contact me today for a consultation.

Low Value Women: Meaning, Signs of A Low Value Woman, Online Dating Rules For Ladies

I really hate this term but it’s important to be aware of its existence and look out for men who use the term.

It’s meaning is a bit ambiguous but it’s generally use to identify ways a woman sells herself short whether it’s low self-esteem, low-self-worth, looking for validation from others (particularly men) around their looks which lead to poor decisions in life but particularly toxic or manipulative men.

Everyone has their difficult times but men typically either ignore such feelings, battle through them or take time away to address their issues by getting off dating apps whereas some women might do to the opposite to make themselves feel better via likes and message accumulation.

This is the worst reason to join dating apps. It’s important to take care of yourself at all costs or else men’s actions can make it worst.

There are some circles of men’s self-help forums that get into specifics like using walk bad in high heels as a sign of low value women (the thought here is that she is willing to endure pain or awkwardness at the expense of trying to fit in, be more attractive etc).

If you want to learn more about this, Google low value men/women or high value women/men. Men tend not to value women who sleep with them quickly. Sure there are exceptions to the rule but men value women who they have to work for (not always but more than not).

What if I run out of guys to date? It could be that they are not for you. There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex and having a fun time but you can’t get all down on yourself if a guy fades away after sex.

Using Their Own Mobile Number On Dating Sites, Giving Out Number On Dating Apps

Too much information is on the internet including your address. Don’t use your main number when registering for apps. Get a Google Voice Number. It’s not perfect (as people can look up info by your full name) but it’s one less data point to have. It’s perfectly fine to coordinate dates on the apps without giving out numbers. If a guy is pushy, take that as a red flag.

How To Spot A Good Man On A Dating Site: Green Flags In A Guy’s Profile

It’s hard to spot a great guy on a dating app because you can’t really tell. That’s why it’s called dating. The best you can do is ID red flags, avoid time-wasters, don’t overly invest yourself in strangers, look for effort and men who pay attention to your profile and things you said.

Avoid guys that are too pushy and ask for phone numbers too soon or ask to get off the app’s messaging platform asap (no need to before a first date).

Avoid guys that focus on your looks or pay you excessive compliments. Guys that are a little too confident or take their time to reply should give you pause (are they working with a profile writer, ghost writer)? Google their lines and responses to see if they copied and pasted them from the internet.

Avoid guys with narcissistic photos. Avoid guys that are dodgy and avoid answering questions about themselves and don’t want to open up and be a bit vulnerable. Lastly, sometimes you can’t spot a good guy on a dating site. You have to go on a date and find out. This is what people do offline.

Related read: Online Dating Green Flags

Why Do Guys On Dating Apps Want Your Number? Should You Give Out Your Number?

Some claim in case you don’t check the app or accidentally unmatch or if there is a glitch but often times it’s to send photos, delete matches (free up space / match queue) or make it harder to report people on the app. Numbers can be used to look up your address too.

No need to get off the app before you meet. Chances are, you will not want to see the guy after the first date anyway. Guys should provide their number in advance of a date in case something comes up. All people should use a 3rd party service like Google Voice for safety and privacy.

More etiquette tips here.

Why Do Guys On Dating Apps Want To Meet Soon? Pushy Guys On Dating Apps

Some guys want to avoid pen pal syndrome. Others want to get off the apps because they are terrible texters. Don’t let a guy force you to meet sooner than you feel comfortable. Typically, 3-7 days is suffice with enough messages sent so you can gauge intent, effort.

What Are You Looking For: How To Ask, Answer What A Guy Is Looking For

Asking someone what they are looking for is a perfectly normal and expected question but often is asked too early, abruptly on dating apps and in person on a first date. Most guys can communicate this over time, with their actions and how they behave in difficult situations.

If you try to ask this too soon or with some judgmental tone, it can feel dismissive or feel like an interview. This is something you can rush. How a guy treats you is key. Asking this over text is a waste of time as it’s easier for guys to lie over text than on the spot, in person.

Asking this question indirectly is a better strategy if you know what types of questions to ask a guy. This is something I go over in my one on one coaching sessions with women. My rule of thumb is that if you have to ask about a guy’s intentions, you probably already know.

This question is not a multiple choice question. It’s not something that is asked once and forgotten. It’s an ongoing question one needs to ask themselves and observe in their date.

Don’t give a guy all the benefits of a girlfriend or exclusivity if he is not holding up his end of the bargain (particularly true if you have not had the talk). Don’t assume exclusivity!

A guy should make it obvious what his intentions are regardless of what he says, promises. Words mean nothing. If you have to confront a guy about what he wants then he is not likely to change. Desire to change has to come from within rather than be strong-armed by someone else.

How To Screen Guys On Dating Apps, Dates – Background Checks & More

A lot of women get all dressed up and try to impress guys from the beginning on first dates. During covid, and even before then, many women have started to embrace presenting a more natural look to themselves on early dates. This could be more casual attire, less/no makeup.

Screening men who are only trying to view the perfect/ideal version of you can be viewed as trying too hard to impress and pre-qualifying a guy too early before you get to know them.

Resume, looks, charm, approachability doesn’t automatically mean he is a good partner. Some guys treat women differently than they do friends, colleagues and family members.

Online Dating Feels Like A Part-Time Job, How To Find A Good Guy On Dating Apps

It should but it should also be fun. I would argue nothing is more important in your life than who you spend the rest of your life with so why just dabble with apps? Why try to be cute and ambiguous in a dating profile? Why only wait to see who likes/messages you?

Would you do the the same for a dream job? It can takes months, years to find the one so don’t set yourself up for failure thinking it will happen right away. Sure there are exceptions to the rules but it’s a marathon, not a race.

You have to be proactive, you have to be aggressive and you have to work on yourself offline and online. First impressions matter as does your ability to use good judgment, screen profiles and read people.

Even though dating apps have favorable gender ratios for women, the quality of men is low (the odds are good but the goods are odd). You have to have to put in work, market yourself favorably and signal the type of guy you want by what you convey in your profile and photos.

Online Dating Is Superficial, Dating Apps Are Shallow

Yes, they certainly can be but guess what, so are people offline. Dating apps tend to magnify everything (insecurities, laziness, options, conversations etc.).

Just because a vast majority of profiles are ones you wouldn’t be interested in doesn’t mean there are some great people online (same can be said of meeting people offline).

You only get one chance to make a first impression on dating apps with a profile so why be lazy? The purpose of dating apps is not to get likes or matches but sift through the piles of profiles and attract the few people you like and are worth your time.

Stop being cute. Be yourself in a flattering, candid and honest manner. Treat dating apps like a joke and you are bound to attract clowns.

Don’t Date Someone Like You, Don’t Date Someone Exactly Like You

Too often, men and women make the mistake of overvaluing similar hobbies and interests for attraction, compatibility and love. Interests and hobbies mean nothing if values, passions, personalities and priorities are not in sync.

What you seek in a friend is not always 100% in alignment with what you seek in a partner. Look for people who complement you and help you to grow as a person. Being a clone is a recipe for boredom and stagnation.

The same can be said of the people you surround yourself with. If your social circle lacks diversity, quality people, you will be viewed as less attractive to others. You can tell a lot about a person by the people they surround themselves with.

What Are Guys On Hinge, Bumble Looking For? What Are Men Looking For On Dating Apps? 

Even though Hinge and Bumble are for those seeking long-term, serious relationships but that is not always the case. Some guys lie, some guys have a hookup account on Tinder, might be open to something serious but change their mind after hooking up.

Don’t let someone pressure you into having sex too quickly and don’t confuse intimacy for love and desire for a relationship. Some people are master manipulators of emotions and being in the moment.

While it can be frustrating being lied to and having a guy change his mind, it’s important to set boundaries and stick to them rather than trust a stranger you barely know, too quickly.

You can never be 100% certain of any guy but over time, with quality dates, difficult situations can you begin to learn how a guy behaves and what he seeks with greater confidence.

How To Write A Dating Profile For A Woman Over 40, 50

Avoid phrases like: I have been told I look younger than my age (if it’s true, it doesn’t need to be stated nor should you lie), my friends I am: xyz (friends are biased). State what you want, show how you are different, avoid cliches, be specific in your prompts/bio.

Don’t say ‘just looking to see what’s out there / looking for my prince charming’. Avoid saying you are looking for friends first, real deal or man who knows how to treat a woman (if he does, he will). Be positive!

Average Bumble Likes For A Girl – Online Dating Advice For Women

Focus less about what others get and focus on you. There are too many variables to get an apples to apples comparison including age, height, appearance, ethnic background, lifestyle choices, location, religion etc. Focus on quality, not quantity. If you want to improve your online dating efforts, hire someone to review your photos, profile, app choice etc. Someone like me.

Related read: Average Likes On Dating Apps

If He Likes Me Why Is He Still Online Dating?

He doesn’t like you, or maybe he does but doesn’t respect you. Or maybe you have not talked about being exclusive, stated what you want or assume he wants the same thing as you.

Final Thoughts – Dating App Tips For Women; Dating App Advice For Women

Don’t be afraid to demand things of a guy. Never asking questions or going with the flow can result in precious time being wasted as some people are not clear with intentions.

Many guys use old photos, lie about height or lie about intentions. Go on video dates, ask questions, don’t assume anything.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Talk to a few guys at once. Many women over qualify men too quickly (oh he is perfect blah blah blah) where men take time to build up confidence in their decisions.

Expecting a spark or love at first sight can lead you to look for misleading qualifiers in men (narcissists, charmers, romance scammers etc). In the event a guy lies about himself, don’t be afraid to report him to the dating apps i.e. using old photos, lying about age or height etc. Too many women just ignore or unmatch only.

There will inevitably be some bad dates, liars and what not when dating but the important this is to give the next guy the benefit of the doubt (but don’t drop everything and pre-qualify guys too soon).

A popular belief of dating and romance is for women to create openings and for men to pursue, chase. While gender norms have shifted over the years, don’t assume men want the same thing you do. Check in, evaluate effort, analyze actions and when in doubt, ask for help.

Dating Coach For Smart, Successful Women, Online Dating Coach For Women

When it comes to dating, things can be frustrating. As someone who has worked with thousands of men and women over the years, I offer personalized one on one coaching.

I will dig through your dating history, biases, strengths, blind spots, opportunities and techniques to attract more quality men, screen time-wasters and help you be more confident in your day-to-day life.

I don’t make false promises nor offer gimmicky advice. I am brutally honest yet very realistic and practical. The traits that helped you succeed in school and career and social circles are not the same skills needed to succeed with dating these days.