Dating Preferences, Ethnicity Filters On Dating Apps, Women, Men. Dating App Deal-Breakers, Hinge, Bumble Filters. How Do Filters Work?

When it comes to online dating, most people are familiar with red flags and related items around safety tips, narcissism and scams. If not, familiarize yourself with those now.

Beyond those automatic left swipes of single photos on dating profiles, deceiving photos from weird high angles and empty bios, there is a set of preferences that people hold that you should be aware of when using dating apps.

People tend to be more selective than they are in person and as such, tend to be less forgiving when it comes to intentions, preferences, deal-breakers on dating apps. Below are some items that men and women tend to pay close attention to when using apps, setting up dates and more.

Related read: Online Dating Resource Guide


Do Hinge Preferences Affect Who Sees You? Can Everyone See You On Hinge? 

Hinge preferences are two-sided (meaning if you don’t have any preferences/deal-breakers, you will not see people that have deal-breakers set which exclude you.

People can still see you if you are outside their preferences and vice versa in certain situations. More on that here. If you don’t select ‘deal-breaker’ in your preferences, Hinge will serve profiles that may or may not include your preferences.

If someone has deal-breakers set for certain attributes that you don’t possess, you will not show up in their profile queue. Some filters are only available via paid subscriptions (more on that below).

Related read: Dating Deal Breakers


Is Religion A Deal-Breaker On Dating Apps? Filtering By Religion, Bumble Filter By Religion

When it comes to religion, some people either don’t care, have a preference for similar religions and are super religious i.e. god comes first, must love god. To each their own. Ignoring religion can result in more left swipes and thus reduce visibility on apps like Hinge.

Learn to understand what others want and don’t hope you can win them over if you fall outside their preference, and similarly don’t hope you can convert someone if they really like you.

While some people are looking to connect purely from a basis of cultural experiences, some tend to downplay deal-breakers in the hopes you will change.

Knowing which apps favor religious folks can make your online dating experience more pleasurable. Certain apps can have lots of Jewish folks on them and apps like the Lox can attract those from more cultural shared experiences rather than possessing a current, strong religious lifestyle.

Related read: Online Dating 101


Is Height A Deal-Breaker On Dating Apps? Dating Apps With Height Filter, Hinge, Bumble

Height is a sensitive topic for some men on dating apps. You can tell by the comments when Tinder released a height verification tool, prank on April 1st a while back. Most apps like Hinge, Bumble, CMB, Match have height filters but not everyone is telling the truth.

It’s not uncommon for guys to add 1, 2 or 3 inches to their height. As such, it can result in lots of frustrations on first dates. There is no real good way to screen for height other than to report guys who lie about their height on the apps (offline behavior reports).

I understand short guys tend to get fewer likes and matches on dating sites but the reality is, most men blame the apps and women and often fail to acknowledge their shortcomings (yes, I just did that) including location, ethnicity, style, grooming, facial expressions, job, education, distance, age gap, lifestyle choices (smoking, drinking, religion, politics) and more.

Plenty of women will date guys under 6 feet tall. Similarly, some women will date guys their height or even those 1-2 inches shorter than them.

Unfortunately, there is an arms race among some users on apps as some women will list their height in heels to filter out men who lie about their height. Just be honest.

Related read: Most Common Lies On Dating Apps


Filtering By Race, Ethnicity On Dating Apps, Tinder – Online Dating Turn Offs

It’s no secret that some races and ethnicities do better on dating apps than others.

Old studies from Okcupid that were since deleted but live on via cached sites, reveal that people have a strong preference for some races and since most people treat dating apps like ordering apps, well, it can take more time and effort to see results on dating apps if you are a person of color.

With that said, I work a lot with men and women of color and I always emphasize using apps that are less superficial, always working on appearance, style, communication skills, grooming, body language and social skills to level the playing field.

Rather than blame apps or the opposite gender, focus on what you can control, influence. Little things like hairstyles, grooming habits, good lighting on photos, personality, smiles, hobbies/interests and app choices can make all the difference.

Related read: Automatic Left Swipes


Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women

Help w/ swiping, timing, app choice, messages, filters, deal-breakers, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags/liars/time-wasters, date planning, & using dating apps more effectively & efficiently.


Dating Site For Professionals, Educated People, Intellectuals

A number of people will factor education, job and availability when using dating apps. Leaving out this information can result in you being swiped left more than you would otherwise. Sure, privacy is a concern on dating apps but leaving info blank is a huge no-no.

While it’s not important to list your company and title, you should at least reference industry and function so people can get a better understanding of lifestyle and work schedules.

Some people are more superficial and vain than others but most of the time, people want to make sure you are at the same or similar economic bracket.

With that said, putting entrepreneur or self-employed on your profile without details or context can result in most people assuming you are unemployed.

In many cases, job, title and money is not as important to some people – they are most so focused on base level of income and ambition in life.

Apps like Bumble and Hinge can show a range of people and can be frustrating to filter folks by. Apps like the League can be limited in terms of profiles and take time to show you people as profiles are curated daily rather than using mindless, endless swiping.

For more info on related apps like EliteSingles and other educated professional apps, read this.


Filtering Singles Parents, Those With Kids On Dating Apps – Common Deal Breakers

Having kids and wanting kids or not can be big deal-breakers. Unfortunately, not everyone is truthful about their situation or intentions.

Some women don’t list they have kids for privacy reasons (avoid being targeted by scammers – more on that below) or don’t want to be prematurely filtered by men who don’t want to date single moms.

Men sometimes lie about having kids especially if they are recently single and want something casual or might want an affair (don’t want to alert women of current/past status).

Similarly, not all men who say they want kids are truthful or clear about when they want kids. Some will say anything to hookup with a woman while others might want kids but just not now i.e. 5-10+ years down the road.

Related read: Online Dating For Parents

Age Filters On Dating Apps: Bumble, Hinge. Age Range, Changing Age On Bumble

When it comes to age, women tend to be more selective than men. Most women want to date guys their age or older in their 20s, 30s but tend to open up preferences once they hit their 40s but never date those significantly older than them.

Many guys will focus their preferences on women much younger than them at any age, unfortunately.

Both genders are known to lie about their age once they hit 40 (for women) and 50 (for men). They think they can win the other person over and or that they look younger than they are.

At least with women, many will come up with a bs excuse on their Bumble bios stating they can’t change their age or state their real age after selecting the wrong on in the drop-down menu. Men who lie usually never come clean until the date, if that.

In such situations, I offer clients background checks to research location, age, marital status, kid status and other items often neglected or lied about on profiles.

On that note, some guys use apps for fetishes. One particular app has many Asian people on the platform and can be sometimes used to satisfy these strong preferences.



Online Dating Tips – Location Deal-Breakers: Distance, Radius On Dating Apps

When it comes to big-city living, many people date on the island. In SF, that means dating within city limits, in NYC that can mean no bridges, no dating people in NJ or even dating people who are not on the same subway line as you.

Don’t lie about where you live. If you live in the burbs, embrace it or move.

While some people might be open to dating long distances, over time, you will get fewer repeat dates as people narrow their radius distances as they have more options or get burned out by traveling, bad dates and difficulty scheduling dates.

On that note, being too close to a match can also be a deal-breaker. Some women don’t want to date someone too close for fear of having to see them all the time if things dont’ work out. Similarly, first date ideas can be rejected if they are too close too home or are favorite hangout spots for your date.


Dating Profile Pet Peeves, Filter By Politics Hinge, Bumble – Is Politics A Deal Breaker

When it comes to politics, things can be tricky. Not everyone selects this item on profiles. Some even claim to be moderate when they are left or right-leaning. Since 2016, political parties have become more and more of a deal-breaker for many people. Politics is one of the biggest deal-breakers people have.

Just because you select deal-breakers on apps doesn’t mean those outside your filters can’t see you. Deal-breakers are usually one-sided i.e. control who you see not limit those who can contact, like or message you.


Image Consultant: Wardrobe, Social Skills & Lifestyle

Eddie is an image consultant in San Francisco with clients in NYC, LA, and beyond. He assists clients w/ fashion sense, social skills, hobbies & interests, etiquette, being more approachable around others & making friends.


What Does Dealbreaker Mean On Hinge?

It means if you select the preference, anyone who doesn’t fit that preference will not be shown to you.

Bumble Filter List: Free Filters, Advanced Filters, Paid Filters, Height Filter, Filter By Interests

-Distance (free)

-Age (free)

-Verified profiles (free)

-Height (paid)

-Exercise (paid)

-Education (paid)

-Drink (paid)

-Smoke (paid)

-Cannabis (paid)

-Want/have children (paid)

-Star sign (paid)

-Politics (paid)

-Religion (paid)

-What Do You Want From Your Bumble Date (Intentions) – paid


Do Bumble Filters Work Both Ways?

No, your filters are only for who you want to see. What you select doesn’t affect who you see unless you subscribe and buy Bumble Premium and activate Incognito Mode (see above).


Grindr Preferences, Grindr Profile List

  • Show Age: Toggle this on or off if you’d like to show your age.
  • Age
  • Height
  • Weight 
  • Body Type (Toned, Average, Slim, Muscular, Large): choose Do Not Show if you want this to remain anonymous. 
  • Position (Top, Ver, Bottom, etc.): choose Do Not Show if you want this to remain anonymous. 
  • Ethnicity: This field indicates your racial identity e.g. Asian, Black, Mixed, Caucasian, Latino, etc. 
  • Relationship Status: This field indicates what type of relationship you’re in e.g. single, committed, dating, partnered, open relationship, etc. 
  • My Tribes: Tribes are a sub-communities of folks who identify largely based on their presentation (e.g. Bear, Daddy, Discreet, Rugged, Twink, Geek, etc.)


Hinge Dealbreakers Not Working

Since not all items in a profile are required, the deal-breakers on Hinge will return false positives on occasion, especially for those that neglected to fill out their profile completely.


Hinge Preference List, Deal-Breakers & Filters List, Hinge Preferences Deal-Breakers

Hinge Basic Preferences:



Hinge Member Preferences (free):





Hinge Preferred Preferences (paid):









-Family Plans


Can You Filter By Race, Height, Ethnicity On Tinder? 



Can You Filter By Race, Ethnicity On Bumble? Bumble Filter By Ethnicity



Can You Filter Race On OkCupid?


Verified Dating Profiles (Hinge, Bumble)

Most dating apps allow users to verify their profiles. If you don’t verify your profile, you will be filtered out by others significantly more than if you did verify your profile.


Can You Filter By Race, Ethnicity On Hinge? Dating App Ethnicity Filter

Yes, you can filter by ethnicity but it’s not a required field so it’s not always accurate. Similarly, if you set it, there are ways to show others outside that preference in certain situations. More on that here.


Dating App With Weight Filter, Filter By Body Type Dating Sites, Hinge, Bumble

The only one that has anything like this is but it’s for body-type. It’s not required and many people lie. Just use your own eyes to assess body type. If the person doesn’t have any full body photos, move on. Not that hard. Quit complaining.


Why Can’t You Filter By Weight On Dating Apps? Dating App Filters

Most people would lie, weights are subjective in that not everyone who weighs the same look the same.


What Dating Apps Filter By Height? Does Bumble Let You Filter By Height? 

Most apps do i.e. Hinge, Bumble, The League,, Okcupid etc.


Does Hinge Show Deal Breakers? Does Bumble Show Dealbreakers?

No, unless you write in your bio, profile or prompts.


Life-Partner vs Long-Term Relationship vs Marriage – Preferences, Dealbreakers

This option on dating apps is rather confusing. Some would argue they are the same, some only want marriage while others want a LTR but don’t want to get married. It is best to have a conversation before assuming anything.

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About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.