Online Dating Questions (FAQ’s), Guide To Dating Apps
Online Dating Guide: Online Dating 101, Online Dating Explained, Unspoken Rules, Online Dating For Beginners, Questions About Online Dating, Dating App Questions
Doing some research ahead of time and being prepared will go a long way to improving chances for success. Below is an exhaustive online dating guide to help navigate the dating app waters and help prepare yourself for online dating with online dating tips for beginners, online dating explained, dating profile templates for various apps, what the online dating experience is like, and general information for those new to dating apps.
Why Do People Use Online Dating? What Is The Purpose Of Online Dating? Why Use Dating Apps? Dating Apps 101, Guide To Online Dating
Dating apps are meant to supplement the way you meet people offline, in person. Due to busy schedules, lack of social outlets, and difficulty in going out as a parent, dating apps provide another way to meet people outside your routines, schedules, and social circles.
10-15 years ago, there used to be a stigma around dating apps. People thought only introverts, socially awkward folks, and weirdos use dating apps. These days, everyone is on dating apps – even people who have no problem meeting people offline. Dating apps are socially acceptable now.
It’s not meant to replace meeting people offline, nor should people keep relationships online. The purpose of dating apps are to discover singles around you and go on dates offline.
How Much Does Online Dating Cost? How Much Do Dating Apps Cost? Internet Dating Questions – Brand New To Dating Apps, Beginner’s Guide To Online Dating
Some apps are completely free, while most operate what is called a freemium business model (basic aspects of the apps are free, but additional costs apply for more profiles, filters, privacy etc). Few apps are completely paid apps.
Costs can vary from $15-$40 per month, but can easily exceed that for apps like The League, which commands a premium for privacy.
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New To Online Dating: Dating Apps 101: Online Dating Advice & Introductory Guide To Online Dating, Dating App Tips For Beginners, Online Dating For Beginners, What Is The Best Dating App To Start With
You only get one change at a first impression and with online dating that couldn’t be more true, so I created this FAQ page to help you navigate the online dating waters. As an online dating photographer and consultant, I have gathered years of research to put together this guide to help folks who are brand new or have struggled with dating apps over the years.
Having worked with people in LA, NYC, Chicago and all over the world, it’s important to know your audience, market yourself effectively and put in sincere effort to have success.
You attract who you are, not what you seek, so what you put out there will affect who you are shown, who contacts you and who is interested in you.
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Anonymity encourages bad etiquette, check-boxes create unhealthy expectations, upfront information creates a false sense of security, easy profile setup creates lazy behavior, people read too much into matches (not a good KPI), access to numerous profiles provides an opportunity for temptation or unwillingness to settle down.
It’s important to have thick skin and awareness of what apps are, and what they can/cannot do. They are not like food ordering apps, they are merely introduction apps. It’s up to you to learn about people and see if they are truthful, worth getting to know, and line up with what you seek.
Related read: New To Dating Apps, Online Dating For Beginners
Are Dating Apps Taboo? Is Online Dating Socially Acceptable? Is There A Stigma Around Online Dating? Is It Embarrassing To Be On Dating Apps?
10-15 years ago, people might have viewed those who used dating apps as desperate. 2 years ago, with the success of Hinge and Bumble, dating apps became popular and have distanced association with apps like Tinder, which give dating apps a bad name.
In 2021, dating apps became necessary and if you are not using them, you are severely limiting your opportunity to meet someone.
Related read: Online Dating Stigma, Dating App Shame
How To Approach Online Dating: Online Dating Tips For Beginners, How To Get Started With Online Dating
Be optimistic but realistic. Don’t do things lazily, but don’t overly invest yourself in a stranger. Don’t assume anything, assume everything. They are a tool, not a life-life. Continue to meet people offline. It’s a misnomer. You meet online but date offline.
Being successful with online dating requires self-awareness, realistic expectations, good photos, proper app choice, writing skills, communication skills, patience, the ability to screen profiles, knowledge of how to read people, timing, and a bit of good luck. Some people can meet their significant other in a matter of days, some people fail to get any dates for months, or years.
Related read: Online Dating Tips For Beginners
How To Navigate Online Dating, How To Be Safe On Dating Apps, Online Dating Etiquette, Online Dating Best Practices, Dating App Frequently Asked Questions
Be optimistic and open-minded but learn to filter aggressively and ID red flags. Fill out your dating profile completely and assume people will judge you by your effort, the worst photos, and your uniqueness.
Be responsive but don’t put all your self-worth into online dating. Use it as another channel (read, not only method) for meeting people.
Make sure your photos are accurate and consistent (looks, style, age, appearance) and have realistic expectations when it comes to age differences, radius, demographics (height, weight), and lifestyle choices (religion, politics, health, education, wealth etc). Don’t assume anything, but don’t be negative or pessimistic.
Don’t swipe right too much or too quickly. Send comments with likes when possible. Don’t use lame, boring intro lines. Don’t make excuses for strangers (cut them off if they don’t match your effort, responsiveness, manners, etiquette etc.). Exchange a few messages, get a feel for a person and ask them out.
Be present, be excited but don’t pre-qualify people too quickly or assume they want the same things as you despite what they say. Some people lie, and others are looking for a hookup, therapist, friend, pen pal or friend with benefits. It’s called dating because you date to figure out people rather than treat dating apps like food-ordering apps.
Meet in public places. Don’t use apps for sex. If it’s too good to be real (guaranteed sex, lots of compliments, aka love-bombing, or the like, take pause). Don’t leave your drink out of site. Don’t sleep with anyone you don’t know. Don’t sleep with someone too soon if you cannot deal with fall-out of a hookup.
Don’t click on URL links, don’t need to verify through services outside the app, don’t give out your personal information, and don’t be lonely, or desperate when using dating apps (people often target vulnerable folks i.e. divorced, widows, people with tons of selfies or low self-esteem).
Dating App Profile Tips For Hinge, Tinder, OkCupid, Tinder (Online Dating Guide For Men, Women), Online Dating Guide For Beginners
I have helped numerous people optimize their profiles while maintaining authenticity, approachability and a touch of candidness. Below are some tips to navigate the online dating waters (I provide more detailed, customized advice for clients). Click through a few frequently asked questions about dating apps, photos, bios, swiping strategy, and more below.
For studies, articles, surveys, and more about online dating, check out my Online Dating Resource Guide.
To view samples of questions, prompts on various dating sites, check out these posts on profile prompts for apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel. For tips on how to write a dating profile, read this introductory guide.
Follow me on Instagram for travel updates to see when I am in your town.
New To Online Dating - Beginner Guide To Dating Apps
New to dating apps? Confused weather to try apps, matchmakers, or stick to offline efforts? I can teach you what to expect, pros and cons of dating apps, which apps to use, how to structure profiles, analyzing photos, wardrobe, hairstyle, grooming habits and lifestyle choices.
Great for those who are recently single, divorced, never used dating apps or are busy folks looking to meet people more efficiently.
ONLINE DATING PROFILE PHOTOS: WHAT SHOULD I PUT ON MY DATING PROFILE PICTURES? BEST DATING APP PHOTOS FOR MEN, WOMEN
How many photos should I use in a dating profile?
Do looks matter on dating sites?
Plenty of people look better in person than in their photos which doesn’t help their case on dating apps. Read: How to look more attractive in your dating photos.
Is it ok to use memes in your dating photos?
What should you wear in your online dating photos?
What do my dating profile photos signal?
What are the best photos to use for a dating app profile?
If you want to get the most out of your photos, get some photo that reveal a side of you that is flattering, insightful, candid and even self-deprecating. For additional advice on photos, check out this photo intro. For the most cliche photos on dating app these days, check out this dating app photo bingo card.
What size should my photos be for my dating profile? What dimensions should online dating photos be?
Should I use photos with my dog, cat or pet?
Cats will reduce your chances for matching but you might connect with someone who feels strongly about cats. Lastly make sure the dog is yours. Dogfishing is not encouraged.
How do I look more attractive in my dating photos?
Should I use plandid photos on my dating profile?
Is it ok to use photos of my children in my dating app photos? Should I use photos of my kids on dating profiles?
Instead, list how many kids you have and their ages in your bio. Read more about this here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-and-kids/
HOW TO MAKE A GOOD DATING PROFILE: BIOS, PROMPTS, HEADLINES & ABOUT ME SECTION, DATING PROFILE TIPS FOR WOMEN, MEN
Is it ok to lie about my age or height in my dating site profile?
Starting off with a lie is a recipe for failure and frustration. It signals insecurity or strong likelihood for lying about other items in your profile. Read more about this here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/lying-about-age-on-dating-profiles/
Is it ok to use a screen name or initials instead of my real name on a dating app profile?
If you use a screen name or initial prepare to receives fewer matches, interest. Read this post on usernames: https://eddie-hernandez.com/plenty-of-fish-usernames/
How do you write a good dating profile for a man? woman? What are some examples on how to write about yourself?
What are some good Hinge and Bumble profile prompts?
What should I avoid in a dating profile headline?
DATING APP FAQ’S: DATING SITE RULES, TIPS & FIRST TIME USER GUIDES, DATING APP QUESTIONS
Dating Apps vs. Matchmakers: Which is better?
What are the demographics for Hinge, Match, Bumble, CMB (monthly average users)?
Every article and survey out there is based on some sample size and don’t necessarily provide the right drivers for success nor accurate expectations. After our photo session, I will provide specific guidance on what I recommend for you based on age, location, personality etc.
If you are purely interested in apps with the most users, take a look at this survey: https://eddie-hernandez.com/monthly-average-mobile-users-dating-apps/
What are the best profile prompts, conversation starters and bios for Bumble?
Do dating apps notify matches or profiles of screenshots?
Is online dating safe? What are the dangers of online dating?
What are the best photos, prompts and answers for Hinge app?
Hinge is one of the most popular dating apps for relationship minded folks. For help with photos, prompts, captions, bios, conversation starters are more read my Hinge blog posts: https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-apps/hinge/
What are some red flags to be aware of when online dating?
How do you spot fake accounts and profiles on dating apps?
How do I reset my dating profile, account?
How long should you stay on a dating app? Taking a break from online dating?
Online dating is not worth it for all people especially if they lack self-awareness, realistic expectations, have bad app choices, poor profiles, bad communication skills.
Related read: Taking A Break From Dating Apps
How do you avoid people you know on dating apps? How to avoid exes, colleagues and friends. Hiding Your profile on dating Apps?
On Bumble, this is called Incognito Mode. Apps like The League use your company info to possible block colleagues from seeing your profile if you choose to do so.
How likes, matches is average for a guy, girl on Hinge, Bumble, Tinder and other dating apps?
For many it’s 1-3 likes, matches a day but quality is more important that quantity as matches can come from bots, spammers and people outside your location, age range, or attractiveness thresholds. R
ead this guide on how to have more success on dating apps.
What questions do dating apps ask? What questions does Bumble ask? What questions does Hinge ask?
UNWRITTEN RULES OF ONLINE DATING: DO’S & DON’TS OF DATING APPS; TIPS FOR ONLINE DATING
Should I use a dating app ghostwriter to write my bio and send messages for me?
Secondly, you deprive yourself of the chance to experience the exploration of getting to know someone through those messages.
Some services are known to use a fake dog, outfit, photoshopped images, to mislead women. Don’t do it. Be yourself but be yourself on a good day.
Read more on my take about the subject here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/why-you-should-not-outsource-your-dating-life/
Should I look away my dating photos? Should I smile in my dating photos?
Why do guys want to meet so soon?
Should you use filters, photoshop dating profile photos?
Similarly, during the review process I will review existing photos and see if there are any worth using and if necessary I will edit them as such at no cost (with any dating photo session).
Don’t fall for the trap of thinking everyone photoshops their images, while some do, it is common for folks to not advance past 1st dates because of misrepresentation in photos.
Related read: Misleading Dating Profile Photos
How old should your online dating photos be?
If you make material changes to your appearance you should update your photos. For most people, photos should be taken within the last 2-3 years. Some people can get away with photos beyond that timeframe but most can’t or at least should not.
Related read: Online Dating Photos Guide
Should I hire a professional photographer for dating portraits and headshots?
What are the biggest and most common lies people tell on dating apps?
BEST ONLINE DATING APPS, BEST DATING SITES, BEST DATING APPS, BEST DATING APPS FOR BEGINNERS, DATING SITES FOR BEGINNERS
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What are the best online dating apps for Jewish singles? Best Jewish dating site?
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How do I set up an account for Facebook dating? Should I use Facebook dating?
It will be rather slow in terms of traction early on so I don’t put a lot of weight into using it early on as a serious option. In fact, the Facebook secret crush feature is kind of creepy. For more of my thoughts about the new product from Facebook, click here.
Are paid dating apps better than free dating sites?
Most other dating sites are free to use but charge you for expediting your application, providing more profiles, undoing accidental swipes, sending a super-like or super-swipe or allowing you to access additional filters and preferences in your search.
I typically advise clients to not pay for such bells and whistles when it comes to add-ons but in a few instances it can be beneficial.
DATING APP RULES: LIKING, COMMENTING, MESSAGING & MATCHING ETIQUETTE ON DATING APPS
What is considered overly eager + aggressive messaging on dating apps?
It is bad etiquette to swipe right on someone you are not interested in. In fact if you don’t respond or message people you match with it can hurt your ELO score. Read: Dating app messaging etiquette.
Should you ever super-like or super swipe on Tinder and Bumble?
Be enthusiastic, be prompt but no need to be overly agressive. Would you tell someone you really like them at a bar or cafe within the first 2 minutes of meeting them. How creepy would that be?
What is the etiquette after matching on a dating app?
Casually swiping right without an intention to write them, get to know them or possibly go on a date with them is rude. In terms of conversation starters, check out this guide I put together.
For more detailed info on online dating etiquette, read this exhaustive post.
What are some good conversation starters for dating apps?
Copying and pasting lines is never a good idea neither is Hi or Hey on Bumble those are some of the worst first messages possible. Cliche openers are a sure way of illustrating laziness and lack of creativity.
For additional tips, check out this post I wrote on conversation starters.
Should you like or message first on dating apps like Hinge and Match?
Do you have any tips or recommendations on first date etiquette?
How to answer what are you looking for online dating (Bumble, Tinder, Hinge)? What brings you to this dating app?
ONLINE DATING TUTORIALS, GUIDES, QUESTIONS & RESOURCES: HOW TO START ONLINE DATING, HOW TO NAVIGATE ONLINE DATING
What is the main purpose of online dating? Why do people use dating apps?
Is there a weight filter on dating apps? Body type filter? Weight preference?
Should you date during the coronavirus? Tips for dating apps during Covid-19
What are some podcasts, books and resources I should check out for online dating?
Be sure to check out this resource guide of all blogs, podcasts, studies, articles, ted talks and more about dating culture, online dating and more. https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-resource-guide/
What is an ELO rating system score? What is the Gale-Shapely algorithm?
Do you ever travel to see clients outside the San Francisco Bay Area?
Do you offer dating profile critiques remotely?
What are some psychological effects of dating apps, negative effects of online dating?
What is dating in San Francisco Bay Area, Silicon Valley like for men, women?
As for gender ratios, check out this data set I pulled from Match.com across various regions in the San Francisco Bay Area, Southern California, Pacific Northwest and Northeast United States. https://eddie-hernandez.com/match-com-bay-area-gender-ratios/
Any tips on how to meet people offline, in real life?
Do you offer any matchmaking services? Matchmaking Questions
Why is online dating so hard? Are dating apps worth it? Do dating apps work for men?
Do guys care about height? Do women care about height on dating apps? Does height matter on dating apps?
Similarly, most women want to date men that are at least their height, some a few inches taller and a few significantly taller or at least 6 feet tall. Statistically speaking, dating apps can be brutal for short guys.
There are some apps I recommend for shorter clients that tends to fare better than other apps.
What dating apps have travel mode?
What Should You Not Do On Dating Apps: Online Dating Do’s And Don’t’s For Men & Women, Dating Apps For Dummies
Don’t lie about your age, height, weight, recency of photos, kids or marital status.
Don’t join apps to seek validation, pen pals, social media followers, or attention.
Don’t use dating apps if you are emotionally, physically or mentally unavailable.
Online dating apps are meant to introduce people – you don’t date online. Exchange a few messages and then take things offline. Dating apps are not a platform where you share every detail of your life nor should you pin all your hopes on one person. Don’t put too much pressure on a first date – “Is this the one?” Ask yourself, “do I want to see this person again?”
Also, do not stop offline dating. You should continue to go to the gym, go to happy hours with friends, join hiking clubs, take cooking classes etc. If you are down and out and hoping meeting someone online will lift your spirits, you will be severely disappointed. You are not ready to date someone if you are not happy with yourself.
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Signs of Manipulation While Dating & In Relationships – Manipulation Tactics (Dating & Relationships)
Bumble Opening Lines, Message Tips For Women – Bumble First Message Tips For Girls
He’s Just Not That Into You – Signs He’s Not Interested In You
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Dating Profile Critique, Review Services
App Choice, Photo Order, Photo Critique, Bios + Prompts + Photo Captions, Wardrobe Feedback, Grooming Suggestions, Clothing & Hairstyle Recommendations, Body Language, Smiles, Facial Expressions, Hobbies, Interests, Lifestyle Choices, Etiquette & More For Men & Women.
-As seen in the NYT, WSJ, AskMen, Women's Health, Bumble, SFGate, ABC7News-
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Should You Pay For Dating App Features – Bumble Superswipes, Hinge Roses, Tinder Boosts & More
Should I Link My Instagram To My Dating Profile – Linking Social Media, Spotify To Bumble, Hinge
How To Get More Matches On Dating Sites – How To Be More Marketable, Attractive; Swiping Etiquette & Strategy
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Why The First 72 Hours Are Crucial When Creating A New Dating Profile – New User Boosts On Dating Apps
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About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He has insight into algorithms as well as a keen understanding of dating cultures across locations, demographics, and orientations.
He helps with profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & where to meet singles. Whether you are a POC, short guy, introvert, engineer, or just struggling with dating, he can help you be efficient & strategic.