Online Dating First Message & Dating App Conversation Starters: How To Start A Conversation with a Girl, Guy on Hinge, Bumble. Funny Openers, Icebreakers, Best Opening Lines

There is a tremendous amount of information and coverage around photos for online dating profiles these days – an endless source of tips, tricks and secrets circulating all over the internet. 

People spend so much time trying to perfect their photos that they let other aspects of their profile and communication fail them. Online conversation starters can set you apart from the competition.

Photos are great and important, but first lines add intent, effort, awareness and signal authenticity and can significantly improve response rates over a like alone. Figuring out what to say on dating apps is key.

Related read: New To Dating Apps, What To Expect From Online Dating


What Are Good Dating App Openers? Best Openers For Online Dating, What To Talk About Online Dating Starters, Good Openers For Dating Apps, Good Opening Lines On Hinge, Bumble

Every app is different. Each dating app has different users, demographics. The best conversation starter on Tinder may not work well on Hinge or Bumble. Similarly, best opening lines on Bumble or Hinge are very contextual based on age, lifestyle, bios, prompts and photos.

The best openers on Hinge can play off answers to prompts or even captions on photos. If you have relied on opening lines like Hi, Hey, How Are You, How Is Your Day, you will be in for a rude awakening. Below are some great tips on online dating introductions.

Related read: Online Dating Messaging Etiquette


Conversation Starters, Openers On Hinge, Bumble & Tinder: Great Opening Lines For Online Dating, Online Dating Who Should Message First, Online Dating Opening Message

Each dating app has a different set of users, expectations and intent. It’s essential to know your audience when trying to figure out first lines, timing and tone. Just like with photos, what might work on Tinder may not work with Bumble or Hinge. It all depends on whom you want to attract.

If you are able to message first and are interested, you should message first (regardless of gender). Don’t be a passenger in your life – be a driver.


Hinge First Line, Opening Message

Hinge First Line, Opening Message



Tips For Online Dating Conversations: How To Start A Conversation On A Dating App, Online Dating Openers, First Message To A Girl, Guy On Dating Apps, How To Start An Online Dating Conversation

As an online dating photographer and consultant, my goal is to not only make sure clients have great, natural photos but also have supporting captions and profile to entice conversations beyond matching.

If you have managed to successfully navigate those waters and happen to match with a special someone — great! Congratulations!

Conversations are more than just knowing what to say, it’s also about timing, tone, relevance as well as what’s going on in the world, candidness, etiquette, and writing a good profile, so others can more easily comment and reply to messages.

It’s also about having enough varied hobbies, interests, and life experience to draw upon.

If you lack friends, social hobbies, awareness of the world around you, it’ll be brutal to get a read on someone and create some witty banter, occasional sarcasm, and the ability to improvise messages on the fly.


What’s A Good Conversation Starter For Online Dating, What Is A Good Intro For A Dating Site, Best Hinge Openers, Good Online Dating Openers, How To Start A Dating App Conversation

People often think choosing photos, setting up a profile with a witty bio and prompts is all it takes to have success on dating apps, but many people fail when it comes to opening lines, replies. 91% of people say a person’s opening line is important.

A one-worded introductory line lacks effort, shows a lack of imagination, and is unmemorable (boring).

Below are some tips on how to improve the quality of your communication to get more replies.

For additional tips on all things dating apps including photos, prompts, bios, app choice, and first date ideas, check out my blog.

You’ve Got A Match! Now What? Dating App Openers, Online Dating Questions, Online Dating First Message, Dating App Opening Lines

You might think the hard part is done, but many people fail to turn matches into successful conversations, let alone dates! There is a tremendous pressure to play it cool yet be charming, witty, and smooth but many men end up going nowhere at this stage. 

It is not uncommon for less than 10% of matches to end up with a first date, for some <1% is not uncommon. Matches are usually established when two people like each other’s profiles, but to really set yourself apart, send a message along with your like.

Apps like Coffee Meets Bagel suggest sending a comment along with your like results in a 25% increase in matching with the recipient than a like alone.

How Do You Start A Conversation On A Dating App? How Do You Get Messages On Dating Sites? Online Dating Opening Lines

Every app is different. Apps like Hinge let you send a comment along with a like. Some apps require a mutual match before you can send a message to the other person. Apps like Bumble don’t allow men to message the woman until the woman sends the first message.

Getting likes, matches, and messages requires a good, interesting profile including photos, bio, and answers to questions. Even then, it requires effort, self-awareness, proper app choice, patience, and favorable demographics.


Should A Girl Message First On A Dating App? Hinge, Tinder & Bumble, Tinder First Messages

Being a passenger in your life means you are waiting to hear from others to make the first move. It’s recommended that women message first to have more control over whom they want to get to know on the apps.

Taking control of your destiny often leads to better matches and less fatigue and frustration over lazy, vulgar, and creepy first messages from unwanted people. Aside from those reasons, it’s required on Bumble (putting your IG handle in a profile is not recommended).




Opening Lines, Pickup Lines, Online Dating Questions For Bumble, Hinge; Best Hinge Openers, Online Dating First Lines

So many things can go wrong that it is important to highlight some tips to minimize the low responses from matches. In the age where profiles can be created instantly with Facebook, online dating has led to uncanny amount of one-word opening lines… Hi, Hey, Hello or if you are lucky two words — What’s up, Hello there etc.

No other words in online dating are as anti-climatic than these right here. Spend any time on Bumble and you will notice many women defer first line messages altogether by listing their Instagram handles so that men message them first.

Men have been notorious for this behavior for years and with the rise of Bumble (the anti-Tinder) women have fallen into the same habits that have been condemned for years.

My rule of thumb is that online dating apps are merely an introduction and are still governed by the same old rules chivalry and common decency as offline approaches.

This goes true for opening lines. General etiquette for dating apps suggest one should put some effort into bios and messages and show interest and enthusiasm. Laziness, cliche photos and bios and one-word messages and answers will not cut it.


Original Thoughts + Custom Messages = Getting To Know Each Other, Good Online Dating Questions, Best Online Dating Openers

If you are a man who says hi to a girl at the grocery store and say nothing more, that would be awkward. The same goes for online dating apps. So why would you open up a conversation with so few, effortless words?

I am not advocating people pour out their life story, exude every emotion or even use a pickup line but what I am advocating is putting some more thought and effort into your opening lines and ice-breakers.

Women get bombarded with messages constantly offline and online and chances are your line has been used on them before and will be ignored. Customize your messages, be original, be vulnerable and make it clear you read their profile and make sure both of you are in alignment with what you want.

Make sure to use the person’s first name in your messages to increase response rate by 60% on apps like Bumble. It shows additional effort and reduces assumptions that you are copying and pasting your messages across matches.


How To Get A Response On Dating Sites: Hinge, Bumble (Online Dating Messages That Get Responses)

Getting a response on a dating site is not guaranteed. Just because you send a thoughtful note doesn’t mean you are more likely to get a response.

Not liking and matching with time wasters and narcissists and those with empty bios is the first step to improving response rate. After that, sending messages that the other person hasn’t heard yet will get their attention.

Showing that you read their profile also goes a long way. The other item to consider is timing (there are better times to send messages to people). Lastly, having conversation starters in your bio, prompts, photos will help make it easier to get a response.


No Replies, Stop Responding On Dating Apps Like Hinge, Bumble

It happens to everyone. Eventually, you will meet someone you really like only to experience no replies or the other stop responding.

Guys stop responding on Bumble all the time. Sometimes they are jerks, sometimes they are lazy, and sometimes they meet other women. Stop making excuses for guys. If he wants to talk to you, he will. He won’t need to be prompted.

Similarly, if you match with a woman on Bumble, that doesn’t mean anything. She could have matched with someone else who she is now focusing on. Unlike guys, girls are more likely to talk to fewer guys at once – it’s exhausting.

Exchanging a few messages might feel like something can be there but don’t get overly invested in a stranger you just met. People reveal their true colors over time and repeatedly. Some guys might entertain women only to see if she is interested to meet up quickly.

If this doesn’t align with what you seek, don’t make excuses for him, move on and focus on those that seek what you seek and don’t rush you. Similarly, you aren’t competing in a silo, the person you matched with likely matched with others.

Good conversation skills are key to keeping someone’s interest and continuing the conversation over a few days and weeks. People can lose interest easily, quickly if you don’t reply quick enough, don’t initiate conversations or have mostly one-word answers.

Replying too quickly can come off as too eager, taking too long can come off as disinterested or likely talking to others.

Related read: No Likes, No Matches On Dating Apps


Double Messaging, Follow-Up Messages On Dating Apps

Many people on dating apps become anxious after sending that first message or not hearing back immediately from messages they sent their match – buggy apps only add to that paranoia as users are left wondering if the other person even received their message.

General etiquette suggests you do not follow up with a check-in message on most individuals. You should only focus on those that match your etiquette, responsiveness, enthusiasm and intent.

With that said, if there is someone that seems to be worth it (less than 5% of profiles are), then it might be worth following up with a message. If the previous message was a date request, you can follow up and say something like “Hi (insert name), are you interested in checking out (date activity)? I hear (list reason why it’s fun, unique, etc).”

Most people don’t deserve this follow message as they are disinterested, busy, not ready to date etc. but there are always exceptions to the rules (just remember, exceptions are not the norm).

If you must send a follow-up message on a dating app, never double message with the same message previously sent. Add something new, and interesting to it. Make sure you are enthusiastic (one can only be as excited as you are so set the tone).

Related read: Online Dating Messaging Etiquette


Timeliness Of Messaging and Responses: Messaging Etiquette On Dating Sites

Respond in a timely manner. Apps like Bumble or Coffee Meets Bagel force you to respond with a set time frame so that is taken care of but other apps like Match, OkCupid or Tinder have no time limit. Follow up in the same amount of time you would to a friend’s email or recruiter’s email. That can be a matter of hours (3–6 hours or 1–2 days).

There are exceptions to the rule i.e. out on vacation or dealing with a personal matter but in those cases, you can mention the reason for the delay. i.e. Hi, sorry for the delay, I was out at Yosemite or Napa with friends this weekend. Glad we matched! You have some interesting hobbies — where did you learn to develop a passion for XYZ?

This does two things, one explains the reason for the delay, two illustrate you are social, have friends and are busy on weekends and three are thoughtful in focusing your time with said friends.

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Dating App Conversation Starters: Find Talking Points In Your Dating Profile, Dating App First Message Tips, Best Opening Lines For Online Dating

A simple hi, hey, heyy, what’s up will not suffice – you need to find something that illustrates effort and creativity. Find a good talking point. As much as I don’t like people waiting to respond to messages, I do think it is important to think about what you write. 

Review the person’s profile, find something interesting, unique or quirky to comment on and be sure to spell check, be specific! If you write something like I noticed you like tacos, I like burritos, we should meet, that might not be effective unless you have a sense of humor that the other person gets, but this can be tricky.

However, if you mention that you did a taco crawl recently and found some amazing place under the radar that challenges Nate Silver’s calculations, that might be more successful. The point is, being specific acknowledges the fact that you paid attention and put the time and effort to come up with an opening line.


Who Should Message First On Dating Apps; Should Men Or Women Message First On Dating Sites?

That depends, on apps like Bumble, only women can message first on app. Aside from that corner case, whoever is interested in not being a passenger in their life should message first.

Messaging first and making the first move will allow you to improve your chances at getting what you want rather than settling for whoever happens to message you.


Talking Points in Your Dating Photos and Bio, Online Dating Conversation Topics, Best Opening Lines For Dating Apps

Have good talking points in your profile. If you do not have any interesting details, insights, random observations or items in your profile, it will be difficult for someone to find something to reference in conversation. Details in photos and captions provide assistance in keeping the conversation going. 

Having a logo t-shirt from a place you have been to, art, sculpture or view in the background, a podcast you like or an accessory or article of clothing that is eye-catching can help to invite more introductory messages by making it easier to find a unique entry point.

An empty bio is a sure fire way to drive people away from your profile. For ways to craft your online dating bio check out this guide.


Online Dating Chats: Texting in Dating Apps – Grammar, Emojis

Use good grammar and avoid unnecessary emojis. This seems super obvious but this is sadly a fading quality in conversations these days. A little goes a long way in using full sentences and appropriate punctuation. 

I am not saying you have to ditch ‘Lol’ and ‘OMG’ but if your repertoire includes ‘TL;DR’, ‘UR’, ‘BCUZ’ you should rethink your approach.

Also, if you want to eat tacos, write it out (no emojis). I am not saying tacos will lead to a first date but using emojis in conversation will hinder your chances of ongoing conversation and dates (more so for men than women).


Online Dating Icebreaker Messages: Examples, Questions, Dating App Questions – What To Say On Bumble, What To Say On Hinge, What To Say On Tinder

In the event there is not much in the profile, bio, photo captions or prompts, you can try generic, but timely icebreakers based on current events, new shows etc. I will say people who have incomplete profiles are not worth the time, but if you are going to try, be relevant and timely.

One tip is to open up Google Trends and see what people are Googling these days. Narrow it to within the last 7 or 30 days and your country or even region i.e. San Francisco Bay Area, Dallas-Forth Worth etc.


First Date Topics of Conversation From Dating Apps: What Questions To Ask Online Dating

One of the biggest mistakes people make on dating apps is messaging too much. Some people want to build chemistry and rapport, but many people don’t want to waste time talking to a stranger and want to meet sooner than later.

As a result, conversations can fizzle and die if there is no imminent date and time set for a date to occur (case in point – online dating during the coronavirus). Leave something for the date, the imagination.

Food, travel, volunteer work, classes, events, shows are all good topics of conversation. They can be as superficial or insightful as you want them to be. The key thing here is to show enthusiasm and energy.

If you can’t get motivated for things you spend your time on what can you get excited about? Most people fail here because they sound like downers and lack any passion, curiosity, wonder or interest.

Dates should not resemble interviews. Yes, I understand some people are more urgent on meeting others and figuring out if they want to have a relationship, want kids, get married and live in the burbs, but those questions don’t have to be so forceful or intense. There are subtle ways of seeking this info.

These things take time – you can’t force chemistry and love. Yes, some people in your social circles and work might have met and gotten engaged in 6 months, but that is not common. Also, who knows if they will be together for the long-run. Stop comparing yourself and situations to others.

Related read: Questions To Ask On Dating Apps


How Long To Wait To Reply To Messages, How Soon To Respond To Online Dating Messages

Generally, you want to build chemistry, momentum, so you should reply asap as that person was available to send you that initial message and is likely to continue a conversation with you. With that said, you don’t want to reply asap every time, but most times is recommended.

If you wait to long or are not responsive enough, out of sight, out of mind. Typically, that night or next morning is sufficient but the more interested you are, the quicker you should respond. Also, if a date is made, expect to make/receive confirmation 2 days to day of the date.


How To Reply To Online Dating Messages, Should You Reply To Online Dating Messages

Contrary to popular belief, not all messages deserve a response. Some are so lazy, vulgar, boring or cliche that one shouldn’t feel obliged to reply to messages on dating apps.

If someone writes a sincere, thoughtful message, shows they read your profile and don’t look like a douche, then just say thanks but not interested or say you met someone else and are focusing on them.

Unmatch afterward to remove all doubt as users (especially lonely guys who have never dated) have a hard time taking a clue if you are interested or not.


How To End Online Dating Conversations: Rejection Etiquette

If you have been talking for a while or have met, it’s best to let people know sooner that later you are not interested. No need to get too detailed or give a laundry list of reasons. Keep it short, sweet. Let them know you appreciate the time, effort, enjoyed talking to/meeting them but ultimately don’t see this going anywhere or are focusing on others.

Giving vague, ambiguous reasons like taking a break from online dating might invite users to follow-up or stalk you. Unmatching without reason is mean, but also increases the chances people will not get the message. Be direct.


Hinge Opening Lines, Good First Message On Hinge: Hinge Etiquette – Dating App First Message, Opening Lines For Dating Websites, Best Introduction For Online Dating

Hinge gives users the ability to send a like or send a comment along with a like. They also allow users to defer sending the first message and request the other person send the first message. Always send a comment, ideally a question, along with a comment or opinion.

Keep it concise, don’t be vague nor cliche.


Golden Rule Of Online Dating Apps: How To Talk On Dating Apps, What To Talk About On Hinge, What To Talk About On Bumble

Only focus on those that match your interest, enthusiasm, responsiveness, thoughtfulness and etiquette. If you can’t afford to be picky, make sure you are on the right app.

If you are on the right app based on your location, orientation, age, lifestyle and intent, make sure you have a good profile, bio, captions and photos so you can get more matches and afford to be pickier.

Best Time To Send First Messages, Likes On Dating Apps Like Bumble, Bumble First Messages

Knowing your audience is key. Receiving a first message at 1am in the morning on Friday night indicates different things than one at 8pm Sunday evening. Knowing not only what to say but how and when to say it is key. You want to appear like you have a life outside dating apps and have social circles and activities vs being glued to dating apps.

The suggestions for timing vary by app and over time but generally one wants to note when people are likely to notice them and their messages. Sending a message too early in the day, week can get ignored like an old email. Being fresh and recent is key.


Bumble First Messages, Opening Lines Tips

Bumble First Messages, Opening Lines Tips

Online Dating Conversation Starters With A Guy, First Conversation Online Dating, Dating Conversation Examples, How To Start An Online Conversation With A Guy, How To Start An Online Conversation With A Girl, How To Start A Conversation Online Dating Examples

Dating Profile Critique For Men & Women: Dating Profile Review (Hinge, Bumble)

App Choice, Photo Order, Photo Critique, Bios + Prompts + Photo Captions, Wardrobe Feedback, Grooming Suggestions, Clothing & Hairstyle Recommendations, Body Language, Smiles, Facial Expressions, Hobbies, Interests, Lifestyle Choices, Etiquette & More For Men & Women.

-As seen in the NYT, WSJ, AskMen, Women's Health & More

Tinder Conversation Starters, Bumble Conversation Starters, Hinge Conversation Starters, Best Hinge Pick Up Lines, What To Say On Dating Apps, What To Talk About On Dating Apps, Online Dating Chat, Dating Introductions

Additional Reading: Is Online Dating Worth It? – Are Dating Apps Worth It For Men?

Popular Read: What Do Your Online Dating Photos Signal? – First Impressions & More

Best Bumble Conversation Starters – Bumble Openers & First Messaging Tips

How To Keep The Conversation Going Online Dating – Tips For Hinge, Bumble, Men, Women

Why Hi, Hey, How Are You Are Awful Opening Lines – Why These Lines Will Result In No Replies From Guys

Bumble Opening Lines For Girls – First Message Tips For Women

Hinge First Message – Hinge Openers, Hinge First Message Tips

How To Be Successful With Dating Apps – Advice On Profiles, Messages, Photos, Communication 

Rejection Etiquette (Ending Conversation, Turning Down People, Dates, Unmatching)

Biggest Mistakes Girls Make On Dating Sites – Worst Mistakes Women Make On Dating Apps

How To Start A Conversation On Hinge – Hinge Openers, Etiquette

How To Start A Conversation On Tinder – Tinder Openers, Tips, Examples; How To Start A Tinder Conversation

Bumble First Message – Bumble Openers, Bumble First Message Tips

Online Dating First Dates – Date Ideas, Planning, Communication & More

Online Dating Red Flags – Red Flags In Communication, Unmatching, Date Ideas, Asking For Photos, Pushy Guys


Questions To Ask On Hinge, Questions To Ask On Bumble, Questions To Ask On Tinder, Best First Message On Hinge, Bumble, Dating Sites, Best Opening Lines On Hinge, Bumble & Dating Apps, Online Dating First Message

About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie Hernandez is a dating coach for men & women and a professional photographer based in San Francisco, servicing clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, Silicon Valley, London, Washington DC, Boston, Sydney and beyond as seen in the NYT, WSJ, SFGate, ABC7News, AskMen, Women's Health Magazine & more.

Former analytics professional and user of dating apps himself, he possesses unique insight into dating app algorithms, user behavior, first impressions and communication styles. He provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice, messaging, image consulting, date planning, screening profiles, ID'ing red flags, and offline tips for meeting people organically. 

Dating App FAQ'sOnline Dating Resource Guide | Dating Services  |  New To Dating Apps

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