Dating Scene In London – Is Good For Dating? What Is Dating In London Like For Single Women, Men? British Way Of Dating, Dating Culture UK

London is one of my favorite cities in the world. It’s one that everyone should experience in some capacity whether it’s visiting, living there for a season or giving it a go once in their life. The range of culture, arts, people, activities and ease of connection to other parts of Europe and the world make it quite the attractive option for people when considering where to move to.

When it comes to dating in London, there are a number of things to consider. London is one of the biggest cities in the world, and it is one of the most diverse cities in the world. People naturally think it’s an ideal place to be single and while that might be true, it’s not necessarily one of the best places to date or meet people for relationships.

Everyone has an opinion about what the best places to be single in, what are the best cities to find a partner and what the best cities are to have more dating options. The truth is, it will vary by your own unique experience, background, lifestyle, preferences, deal-breakers and intentions. 

What Is Dating In London Like? Is London Good For Singles? Is London Good For Dating?

Given its size, London is one of the top cities people ask me about when considering relocation. People tend to equate more options with a better dating scene. That is generally true to an extent, but you should consider things beyond size.

There is nothing worse than small town dating in the sense that everyone is in each other’s business, you have to travel hours for dates, and you might be related to the person you are trying to shag. With that said, there is some value in the nature of these scenarios, but it might not be enough to convince you to move out of town.

London is an international city with lots of educated professionals, driven men and women, career-minded folks and those that are attracted to big city living. Those things might sound great but often times, people are too busy to date (at least in their 20’s and 30’s). The chase of a high-paying job can force people to take a backseat in their dating efforts and as a result cause them to regress in social skills needed to attract others.

Luckily, things in London are not as bad as San Francisco and Seattle when it comes to those who are anti-social, work from home, stare at a computer all day or have an over-abundance of introverted hobbies and interests. People in London are generally more outgoing and social, which makes it great for meeting people organically, offline. This seems great and all but not everyone agrees.

 

Dating In London vs New York – How Is Dating In London? London Dating Culture

London resembles dating in NYC in many ways. There are more women in London than men and the growing trend of educated women means there is more dissatisfaction with men and women and their prospects (more men who are insecure little chicken sh*ts who are scared of women who are successful in their careers and women who have fewer dating options because they use education/job/socioeconomic status as a deal-breaker).

Everyone has the right to be picky – they should after all as who you spend your time with is the most important decision one can make in their lives but thanks to endless options with apps, growing cost of living and poorer dating etiquette, people are more frustrated, burned out and fickle now more than ever. When people have more options, they tend to be selective and they certainly are more selective on apps than they are in person.

If you are the type of person who knows how to make good decisions, knows how to cut off time wasters effectively, ask questions, knows what they want and knows when they have a good thing in front of them, great! But most of you reading this probably don’t, unfortunately. More options = more problems.

The key difference between NYC and London is that men typically are more reserved in London than In NYC. Sure, there are exceptions to the rules but people in London tend to date around less (cost of living, amount of time, culture etc). Americans are terrible in this regard but don’t let those British accents fool you! Learn to analyze people rather than stereotype them.

Related readDating In Silicon Valley | Seattle | Austin Los Angeles  |  Chicago  |  San Francisco  |  New York

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What Is Dating Like For Men, Women In London? Dating Culture In London; 

Aside from options and wealth factors, the other thing to consider is distance. People are working more now more than ever and the cost of living means people are not willing to commute as far for dates as they were before.

Men and women tend to cast a wider net with respect to radius when they use apps and it’s good to be open but better to be strategic. Men will typically travel further for a date than women but just because you are willing to travel far for a date, doesn’t mean she will. Similarly, people’s radius’ shorten after early dates as they overestimate how motivated they are to travel that much for dates. 

Location matters. I typically tell people to set a distance of 3-5km in big cities as people have options and will prioritize those that can meet more regularly, easily and those that share similar lifestyles. Neighborhoods are a way people make assumptions about others. They signal who you are, how you spend your time, what you prioritize in life and who you spend time with. 

You have to approach dating apps strategically in some ways. It’s better to see profiles, message users that are closer to you as you have a higher chance for getting dates with them and in turn, will help you be more efficient, experience less ghosting and allow you to schedule more dates (if you have options).

 

Is Dating In London Hard? London Dating Scene

Given that men outnumber women on dating apps, women get more matches and have more options than men, so even though you received a match, that means nothing if they have better options, closer options. So yes, it pays to be open but not at the expense if you lack self-awareness, live a fulfilling lifestyle, know what you want, can cut off time-wasters quickly or have time to travel for dates.

For women who want to settle down, it might be hard to date in London, as men with options typically are in no rush to settle down. This is not always the case of course, but simple math dictates that a man with options likes to date casually longer, takes their time to be in a relationship more and is less than a rush to get married than women.

People in London tend not to date around as much as those in the U.S. but that doesn’t mean you should assume others want the same things as you. Constant communication, check-ins, review of red flags as well as planning is needed to make sure both parties are on the same page.

People in the UK/Europe tend to have more similar values, etiquette and ways to viewing things than the melting pot that is the U.S. but these rules of thumb are not meant be taken as absolute truths. Every person, relationship, situation is different.

It’s not uncommon for women in big cities to either move somewhere to get a fresh change of scenery or go to places with less competition. Similarly, it’s not uncommon for guys to move to places like NYC/London to have more women to date. Every preference, filter, deal-breaker is not without consequence. Only you can know what is important to you and what you want to prioritize in your life. 

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Dating Experience In London, Dating As An American, Expat In London

For all the things that make London great are also some of the reasons why dating can be tough. You will have to worry about whether the person you are dating is going stay in London or decide to move elsewhere. Look at their travel history, ask them about life plans directly and indirectly (see if it changes over time). Evaluate if they have a strong community or if their family will likely draw them back to where they came from.

Americans tend to appreciate the more direct nature of folks and London and consider them to be less jaded than their counterparts across the pond. What’s not to like about their accents, candidness and perceived maturity and etiquette levels.

 

Best Dating Apps In London, Bumble vs Hinge London, London Dating Site

As I mentioned before, people use apps less in London than they do in the U.S. If you are an introverted guy, London may be brutal for you but someone who has strong values, is a bit quirky and is well-rounded can do quite well if they inject themselves socially enough. Most people will tend to use Hinge or Bumble and other apps as well but one should use apps sparingly and focus on offline efforts as their main outlet for meeting people.

Bumble tends to be a bit more mature while Hinge is a bit younger. With that said, there is strong overlap for those 27-45.

Related read: Bumble vs Hinge Comparison

 

Best Places To Meet Singles In London, Where To Meet Men/Women In London

Check back soon.

 

Is Dating Coaching For You? Dating Coach London; Dating Services London

More and more people are really prioritizing dating and relationships now more than ever. If you think about it, who you end up with is arguably the most important life decision you will make, yet people spend way more time on their careers, saving for a home, studying for exams or exercising. 

I am not saying those things are not important but when it comes to dating, people tend to wing it, dabble with apps, look for hacks, ask their friends for help (who are biased or single and struggling themselves), use a volume approach, wait for others to make a first move or use heuristics to be more efficient. These tactics may work for some (and in select instances), there is nothing like building a solid foundation and putting in the work.

Uncovering biases is one of my biggest strengths and in my coaching sessions, I help clients with thinking more strategically but also understanding how to avoid overlooking hidden gems offline and online.

 

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About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.