Too Ugly To Date? Dating Apps Make Me Feel Ugly; Too Ugly For Tinder, Too Ugly For Hinge, Too Ugly For Bumble; How To Date When Ugly

If you have been on dating apps for a long time or have yet to get any likes or matches, you may be wondering if you are too ugly for dating apps. This is a common feeling among men and women and if left unchecked, can cause significant harm to your self-esteem.

Go online to forums like Reddit and you will see tons of posts and comments that suggest people are too ugly for dating apps, you have to be a 10/10 looks-wise to have a fighting chance on dating sites as a guy or that attractive people get all the likes and matches on dating apps.

I am not going to lie – being attractive helps quite a bit, especially if you are a guy because dating apps are skewed in terms of gender ratios. A lot of these feelings come from self-doubt, lack of confidence and other internal measures of self-worth.

People underestimate attributes that make them attractive and through my coaching sessions, I help men and women create better profiles, gain confidence and understand how to do better on dating apps. See testimonials here.


Worst Bumble Bio, Bad Bumble About Me, Bumble Profile Examples, Bumble Bio Woman, Bumble Profile Female

Dating Apps Make Me Feel Ugly – I Am Too Ugly For Hinge, Bumble, Tinder

If you are basing your looks on dating apps, you are off to a bad start. Seeking validation from others is the wrong way to value yourself. Sure, everyone wants to feel wanted and if you are not getting likes or matches on dating apps, you must be ugly, right? Wrong!

People tend to overestimate the reasons why they don’t do well on dating apps. Yes, looks help to get matches and can offset other self-sabotaging attributes on dating profiles.

If you are looking at dating apps for validation, it could be that you are not ready to date. Being ready to date means that you are happy on your own (or at least making strides) rather than looking for someone to make you happy. People can enhance your life and compliment what you have going on, but they can’t get you out of a funk if you are not able to do things for yourself first.

Related read: Are You Ready To Date 


Alternatives To Dating Apps

How to meet men, women without dating apps. Alternatives to online dating. Where to meet women, men in real life. How to meet women, men offline, in-person.

Reasons Why You Are Not Getting Likes, Matches On Dating Apps

  • Unrealistic Expectations (Age, Looks, Distance, Education)
  • Ignoring Lifestyle Choices, Preferences (Religion, Politics, Drugs, Alcohol)
  • Bad Photos (Intense Looks, Bad Lighting, Lack Of Photos)
  • Boring Life (Solo hobbies, gender dominated interests)
  • Lazy/Low-Effort Bios, Prompts & First Messages/Comments
  • Live In A Remote Area (Not Enough People)
  • Using The Wrong Dating Apps 
  • Unverified Profiles, Blank Fields
  • Negative Attitude 

These are common reasons why people don’t have luck on dating apps. If you ignore one or more of these items, you are shooting yourself in the foot. Dating is competitive, and dating apps are more competitive because people have more options and are more selective. The good thing is that these things can be fixed! 

Chances are, one or more of these areas are being ignored. You can fix what you don’t know, so get some help. Sites like Reddit and Photofeeler can feel like the blind leading the blind. There are a lot of jaded folks or people who don’t do well themselves giving out bad advice.

The best advice is customized based on your unique situation. The best apps depend on your location, age, gender, orientation, lifestyle and intentions. Similarly, the best photos for dating apps depend on what you want to attract. Don’t assume there is one size fits all for dating apps – that is where most people make mistakes, which can impact algorithms and how often you are shown to others and who is shown to you.

Some attractive people struggle on dating apps because they make serious mistakes like poses, outfits, effort, timing, app choices, hygiene, grooming, facial expressions and more. These subtle things are amplified on dating profiles as there is barely enough space to weigh other attributes effectively.

Related read: Am I Too Ugly For Online Dating Reddit Posts 


Is Online Dating Only For Good-Looking People? Are Dating Apps Only For Attractive People? 

No, of course not. Browse the social media profiles on dating apps and look at the success stories. Not all women are models, not all men are fit and over 6ft tall. It’s easier to blame apps and people rather than accept responsibility for your own actions.

Everyone can make themselves more attractive. Sure, some things require time, but there are a lot of quick wins people can achieve with a little help and guidance. I am usually the first person people share their photos, profiles and dating history with – if you are not getting unbiased help, you are likely ignoring biases.

Don’t waste months or years being inefficient, using the wrong photos, utilizing bad advice or using the inappropriate apps. People get help in their lives all the time (personal trainers, hair stylists, speech coaches, assistants, nutritionists, career coaches – dating is no different).

I am not 6ft tall, I am not a Caucasian male. I know what it’s like to use dating apps. I am one of the few people who understands algorithms but also understands free choice, timing, nuance, delivery and luck. Similarly, even if you do everything right in a profile, you can fail if you fail to understand how algorithms work or understand preferences/deal-breakers of the people you are swiping on.


Should You Use Dating Apps If You Are Ugly? Not Good Looking Enough For Online Dating

If you are not doing well or feel like you are too ugly to use dating apps, you should take a break. I am not saying you can’t improve or do better, but a mindset is hard to overcome and can make it hard to do better on dating apps. In many cases, the hurdles people face has to do with their own insecurities. 

Some of the areas for improvement can take weeks if not months or more. It’s best to take time off and come back stronger rather than make small iterative changes over time, as it is hard to make a first impression after someone has seen your profile, photos, messages.


New Blog - Modern Dating By Eddie

This blog is for those that are new to dating, have little experience dating, are confused by ‘the rules’, keep making the same mistakes or are frustrated with dating in today’s culture.

Too Ugly To Date Male, Female, Too Ugly To Have A Boyfriend/Girlfriend

A lot of people rely on dating apps too much. You can hurt your chances if you use dating apps for all or even most of your dating efforts.

The thing is, people are typically more picky on dating apps than they are in person. Things like endless options, false indications of interests and motivation overload can make you feel bad about yourself.

The best thing you can do is take a break and do things for yourself (exercise, eat well, make friends, expand hobbies, try out new interests). Never use sites like Photofeeler to assess looks, as they are incomplete.


Being Ugly Is Not Just About Looks/Physique, Not Attractive Enough For Dating Apps

Ugliness is more than just physical attributes – certain lifestyle choices, beliefs, attitudes and hobbies can make someone ugly. Things like politics, drugs, smoking, drinking, religion, friend choice, hobbies etc. can make you less attractive. Cockiness and narcissism are also attributes that can make you less attractive.

Related read: Attractive Hobbies & Interests


Ugly Guys On Dating Apps, Ugly Girls On Dating Sites; Ugly People On Hinge, Tinder, Bumble

Dating apps will sometimes paywall attractive people. Similarly, it could be that you are ugly and are thus being shown ‘ugly’ people. Things likes politics, facial expressions, wardrobe, poses, activities and lifestyle choices can make you ugly to others. 


Dating Apps For Ugly People, Too Ugly For Tinder, Hinge, Bumble

You can but you shouldn’t if you lack self-esteem or are going through depression. Dating apps can be ruthless and drain your self-confidence. Ability to have thick skin is needed.


Online Dating Only Works If You Are Attractive, Dating Apps Only Work If You Are Attractive

This is not true. This is what some incels like to believe but you don’t have to be 6ft tall, low body fat, rich etc to do ok on dating apps. It helps but not needed.


Rules 1 & 2 Dating, Rules 1 & 2 Dating Apps; Too Ugly To Date

Be attractive.

Don’t be unattractive.

This is a cliche comment/reply on forums. It’s a joke but some people take it to heart. Ugliness is not entirely genetic but also a state of mind and also factored by decisions made (hygiene, wardrobe, skin care, posture, eye contact, confidence etc.)


Yes, some people have limitations in some areas but that means you will have to try harder to stand out. It won’t be easy but accepting things are the way they are can severely limit growth, attractiveness and dating pool.


About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.