No One Responds On Dating Apps: Why Don’t Women Respond On Dating Apps, Why Don’t Guys Reply After Matching On Bumble, Hinge

Modern dating is tough. Dates are more expensive and more elusive. It feels like people are going out less and thanks to WFH, there are fewer organic opportunities to meet others in natural situations like on the bus, at lunch or during happy hours. Dating apps have marketed themselves as a better alternative because of their ease of use, efficiency, bigger dating pools and ability to meet others without having to leave your home.

By design, dating app companies make it easy as possible to register for their product and use it to find potential romantic interests. From start to finish, you can message people in your area in as soon as a matter of minutes once the app is downloaded.

Dating apps seem pretty intuitive and self-explanatory.

1) Download a dating app. 

2) Enter your information,

3) Upload photos.

4) Answer prompts and/or write a bio.

5) View profiles

6) Send a like 

7) Get a match

8) Send a message

9) Wait for response

10) Get a reply

These steps feel pretty straightforward, yet things are not always what they appear. If it were this easy, everyone would be on dating apps, people would not need to download multiple apps, nor would they feel the need to ask for help, craft profiles, take photos, understand situations and would ultimately get off the apps quickly after finding their partner.

This is not what is happening – at least not for most people. Many people on dating apps struggle with one or more areas of the dating app process. In my previous post, I discussed reasons why some people get no likes or matches on dating apps and in another post, I mentioned how to get more likes and matches on dating sites.

It’s best to start at the top of the dating funnel and see where you need to improve before getting ahead of yourself too quickly.

 

Hi, Hey Message On Bumble, Bumble Profile Woman, Bumble Bio Female

No One Responds On Dating Apps, Zero Replies To Online Dating Messages, Hinge, Bumble

When it comes to dating apps, there are a range of frustrations people have, and they can occur at various stages of the spectrum depending on your age, gender, looks, confidence, lifestyle choices, Some people struggle at the top of the funnel i.e. not knowing which app to try, not knowing what to write about themselves, not having any photos of themselves or not having enough people in their area.

While some issues are more likely to be experienced by a specific gender, i.e. men: no likes, matches; women: too many creeps on dating sites, some issues are pretty universal to both men and women. One such area is lack of replies and messages on dating apps.

Dating apps promise endless people and options, but when it comes to converting those said matches into conversations, many men and women feel hopeless in their attempts to learn about others, develop some chemistry and ultimately obtain dates. If you go to forums, social media or sites like Reddit, one of the recurring themes is lack of replies by both men and women even after a match is established.

Below are some reasons why men and women don’t reply on apps, what you can do to receive more replies and how to avoid time wasters from the get go so you don’t overly invest yourself in strangers too quickly, easily and often.

 

Reasons Why Guys Don’t Reply On Dating Apps, Matches On Bumble/Hinge Never Message

Your first mistake is to assume that all matches are interested in you. FALSE. You are assuming way too much in a stranger you don’t know, have not met and has possibly never looked at your profile. Given that men are often complaining about lack of matches or likes on dating apps, one would assume all matches would be eager to reply to messages on dating apps – that is not the case.

Just because a guy swiped his finger one inch on his screen doesn’t mean he likes you or even saw your profile. Some guys are desperate and others are lazy. Some guys approach apps with the volume approach to swiping, in that they would rather waste less time analyzing profiles and see who likes them first before crafting a message or investing time into reviewing a profile.

Similarly, even if a guy responds to your first message doesn’t mean he will reply to the subsequent messages. With each message, a guy may lose interest or simply focus on matches he is most interested in. Some guys may cast a wider net initially but then quickly filter profiles based on looks, responses, interest levels or effort.

Reasons Why Guys Don’t Respond On Dating Sites:

1) You only sent a hi/hey message on a dating app (this is low-effort and lazy).

2) The guy in question has options, and he is focused on those he is most attracted to

3) He is a bot/scammer (the profile isn’t real)

4) He needs time to figure out what to say (there isn’t much on your profile to go by or he is using a concierge service or chatgpt or reddit to craft a reply)

5) He doesn’t want a penpal or thinks there is little to no change you will meet up in person

6) He looked you up on social media and found out you used old photos or look nothing like your photos

7) He accidentally swiped right on your profile

8) He is taking a break from apps

9) You have narcissistic social media photos

10) You have too many followers on social media

11) You took too long to message them

12) You used too many emojis

13) He is busy

14) He forgot

While no woman wants to hear about reasons 1-10, some women tend to make excuses for guys who are too busy or just forgot. The truth is, if a guy is too busy or forgets to message you, he may not be that into you. Sure there are exceptions to the rules, but women tend to overestimate how often they are that exception. 

In my coaching sessions, I will go over red flags to avoid, green flags to look out for, how to be more efficient in your messaging and how not to overly invest yourself too quickly and easily in time wasters, liars, married men and immature guys not ready to date. We will also go over what your photos signal and how to attract more of what you want, so you don’t have to settle.

Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women

Help w/ swiping, timing, app choice, messages, filters, deal-breakers, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags/liars/time-wasters, date planning, & using dating apps more effectively & efficiently.

Why Don’t Women Reply On Bumble, Girls Not Respond On Hinge? Dating Apps

Lots of men struggle with getting any sort of likes or matches on dating apps so when it comes to actually getting matches on them, it feels like the biggest hurdle has been cleared – that is not always the case.

While matches may be elusive to many (partly thanks to gender ratios), getting replies can feel like an impossible task. Women are more selective when swiping on dating apps (less time spent on them, more selective with sending out likes) so the natural assumption is that there must be more interest from women when matches are established.

Even if you are thoughtful on your message, that doesn’t mean a woman will respond to you. Below are the top reasons why women won’t respond to you:

  1. They google’d you and found unflattering social media photos
  2. They google’d you and found criminal records
  3. You used old photos that don’t look like you
  4. They have too many matches and need to be selective (underestimated inbound interest or became overwhelmed)
  5. They are on apps for validation, IG follows etc.
  6. Your message didn’t show you read their profile
  7. You are trying to be too agreeable
  8. Your thoughtful message was not as unique/clever as you thought
  9. Message focused too much on looks or was overly sexual/forward
  10. You lied about your location, employment (public records, Linkedin etc)
  11. You follow too many Instagram models
  12. She doesn’t know what to say because your profile is vague or you lack interesting conversation starters in your profile
  13. She is busy
  14. She forgot

A reasonably attractive or in-demand women can gather dozens if not hundreds of likes a day on dating apps. If the average guy gets about 2-3% average likes that turn into matches, some women can expect anywhere from 20-30% of likes to turn into matches.

Some guys are perfectly comfortable talking to dozens of women at a time, but the average woman is more selective and also has less time than the average guy on dating apps. Sometimes it is bad luck or bad timing. It’s not always about you, but that doesn’t mean there is room for improvement on your end.

In my coaching sessions, I will teach you how to be more strategic in your timing of messages, which photo/prompt to comment on, whether or not to follow up on messages and how to optimize your profile to make it easier for women to comment on and reply to your messages.

No Response After First Message On Bumble, Bumble Match But No Message

Bumble is a rather superficial app. Bumble uses GPS for location and allows users to pay for travel mode. As such, profile inventories are inflated. Typically, traveling profiles are shown more often and before static/local profiles. Prior to Bumble compliments, all one could do is swipe so swipes are rather meaningless without effort, follow-through and sustained interest.

 

Hinge Match But No Response, Hinge Match But No Message, How To Get Responses On Hinge

Matches mean nothing on dating apps. Similarly, it can take a long time for someone to see your profile. Since users have to sift through matches, it can be a long time before they come across your like, comment or match. Similarly, some people match but don’t acknowledge matches that don’t send comments with likes.

It could also be they got too many likes or met someone they liked better. They might not be into you is the most likely scenario. It happens.

 

No Responses On Match, No One Replies On Match.com, Women/Men Don’t Reply On Match

Not everyone is glued to the app. Some people disable notifications and emails. Others might be busy, be dating someone, or could have taken a break from apps. In many cases, users are not paid members and thus cannot reply to messages until they sign up for a premium account. 

 

No Responses On Bumble, No Replies On Hinge, Why Is No One Messaging Me On Dating Apps

Likes are lazy. Do better. Send comments with likes. Always.

 

Dating App Response Rate, Online Dating Response Rate, Hinge, Bumble Response Rate

Matches mean nothing. Even if you match, response rates are typically around 40-50% and much lower if your first messages are pretty lame, boring, cliche etc.

 

Why No One Replies To You Online Dating, Why No One Replies To You On Dating Apps

There are several reasons why people don’t respond to you on dating apps. It could be:

1) timing,

2) luck,

3) your message (vague, low-effort or unoriginal)

4) social media accounts,

5) they are too busy or just not ready to date 

6) profile is too vague or boring or they made a mistake in swiping

7) they have better options

8) you took too long to message them

9) you are too young, too old or located far away; not their preferred ethnic background, height; don’t have their preferred education, career, political affiliation, religion, family planning etc. You have the same name as their parent or sibling. See top deal-breakers here.

Regardless of the reason, it’s important not to put your self-worth into dating apps and strangers. Likes and matches mean nothing without effort, enthusiasm and follow-through. Sure, you need to know what makes for a good first message on dating apps but even then, the perfect message may not be enough and that is ok.

About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.