What Is Like To Date A Doctor, Dating Apps For Doctors, Physicians and MD’s, Pros, Cons Of Dating A Doctor, How To Meet Doctors, How To Date Doctors Male, Female

Dating as a doctor carries its own set of challenges, lifestyle choices and nuances. Dating as a doctor is no different from dating as other professionals (at it’s core) but certain extremes, personalities, job requirements, and availability can make it difficult for some to make time, be available, use good judgment and develop empathy.

I have written what it’s like dating in various cities like SF, LA & NYC as well as dating as an engineer. In this piece I will outline what it is like to date as a doctor but more so what it’s like to date one so you can be prepared for the commitment, effort and time it takes to make a relationship work with a doctor.

 

Dating A Doctor Pro’s & Cons, What Is It Like To Date A Doctor?

Dating a doctor carries it own set up struggles and commitment unlike other professions. It’s important to understand things like loans & debt, personalities, stress, availability, work relationships, relocation, work schedules, stress and temptations.

Whether you are considering dating a doctor, using dating apps as a doctor or curious what it’s like dating as a doctor, you will want to keep on reading. There are certain stereotypes that exist as well as unique sets of challenges that require patience, trust, and communication in order to have a chance at success.

 

Reasons Not To Date A Doctor: Availability, Exams & Schedules; Are Doctors To Busy To Date?

When it comes to availability, trying to date a doctor can be brutal. Hours are either extremely limited, hard to predict, or don’t coincide with many 9-5 jobs. This can make things hard for doctors to date someone with different schedules. Even if they are available, being on call can severely limit getaways, nights out or spontaneous dates.

Exams are a whole other ballgame. Think about finals week in college and take that up a few notches. These periods are intense and require non-stop studying and focus. If you are the type that needs constant affection or attention, this will be brutal for you.

Sure there is some flexibility but ultimately dates and partners can be de-prioritized especially if they have just started dating recently. There is a lot of sacrifice needed to be able to make things work and while it can be fine for months or a few years, things can become difficult with time.

 

Dating Experience Or Lack Thereof As A Medical Professional, Emotional IQ

Much like engineers, who don’t have much dating experience, start late and lack emotion IQ and social skills compared to others on average, doctors are similar in that intense education, exams and work can limit dating experience and corresponding emotional IQ needed to be a good partner in a relationship.

Sure, doctors have an advantage over engineers in that they work less with computers and more with people and small teams, but these environments can make it hard to connect with doctors in social settings. If you ever go to a social event with doctors present, conversations can be controlled by doctor talk. While this is not different from tech social events, the ability to relate to doctors can severely limit options for dating.

A doctor’s social circle can me mostly filled with fellow doctors and that can be difficult to balance and get use to if you live social lives. It’s one thing to date a doctor and deal with each other one on one, it’s a different ballgame once you understand you are dating his/her social circles too.

 

Loan, Debt, Wage Differences & Lifestyle Preferences, Expectations

There is a major concern over debt, loans, lifestyle choices and the like when it comes to dating. Even if a doctor is ok dating someone who makes less than her/him, that doesn’t mean the other person is off the hook. Keeping up with lifestyle choices, spend and the like can be expensive.

Similarly, it’s one thing to be ok with wages, finances, debt and loans but issues around acceptance from in-laws can be a new level of scrutiny. Parents obviously want the best for their children and many doctors come from families that strong steer kids to these professions. Those expectations don’t just stop with their kids but also carry over to their partners and potential spouses.

This may not be an issue early on in dating but definitely can become one down the road when discussion around meeting the families, engagements and pre-nups come into play.

 

Is It Worth Dating A Doctor: Uncertainty Around Relocation, Long-Term Plans, Residency

if dating a doctor involved a simple timeline of expectations, it could be easier to date them. Unfortunately, beyond the limited hours and availability and erratic schedules is the uncertainty of re-location and residency. Moving for residency or even fellowships can make or break relationships.

Not knowing where one will go, or for how long or if they will return or find a job elsewhere can be stressful on most relationships. The willingness for one person to pack up and leave on the fly or hang around and wait to see what happens is a lot to ask of someone.

Moving around usually involves one person to sacrifice their career in order to move around. While that might be easier since the days of covid, it’s not always an option for those that can’t WFH or are tied to physical locations.

 

Temptations, Co-Worker Infidelity, Stress: Do Doctors Cheat A Lot? Are Doctors Players?

The data around this is rather limited but one thing is for sure, when you spend lots of time with a small group of people, similar to MBA students, you begin to develop close bonds and those connections can be a little too intimate at times.

Working long hours, working in intense environments and having the excuse to work long, random hours is a perfect excuse for some doctors to cheat. Doctors and nurses made the list of professions most likely to cheat. See this.

The ability to feel disconnected from partners i.e. my wife/husband doesn’t get me or doesn’t understand my work/demands is a common reason why some doctors and nurses cheat on their spouse. Using sex as a way to blow off steam or unwind is all it takes for some people to wander off into the arms of a colleague.

 

Dating As A Female Doctor: Is It Hard For Woman Doctors To Date? Do Female Doctors Have A Hard Time Dating?

Dating as a woman doctor can be extremely difficult depending on expectations, deal-breakers but also ability to screen people and seek out others given their own expectations. In addition to lack of dating experience and limited availability, there are other items to consider here.

Men, in general, are less discerning when it comes to dating. They don’t discriminate against height, profession, ethnicity as often as women do. This allows men to have more options, and those that are high in demand have many women to choose from. The more one sets hard deal-breakers, the fewer options they will have.

Add to this that women are increasingly obtained advanced degrees more so than men these days. If career, education and relative success is important, that will reduce options for women. What makes this even worst for women is that some men are rather insecure and don’t like ‘bossy’ women as much as those that are more submissive. Whether that’s a preference or manipulation tactic to gain leverage in a relationship, the odds start to stack up against women.

 

Best Dating Apps For Doctors Only, Dating Site For Physicians Only, MD’s

There are several doctor-only dating apps out there on the market and there will be more launching soon but in my opinion, people should avoid niche apps. These apps tend to have fewer users, more relaxed registration protocols (more bots and spammers) and require more effort to manage additional profiles.

If you are dead-set on only dating doctors, they might be worth checking out, but there are several mainstream apps that allow you to filter by education level. Similarly, there are plenty of doctors on apps like the League, Hinge, Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel.

 

Online Dating As A Doctor, Meet Doctors Online, Do Doctors Date Online?

Most doctors I know are not eager to date only doctors or nurses and given limited time and availability, will choose to focus on 1 or 2 mainstream apps rather than create a new profile for a niche app that is unproven.

Similarly, most frustration from doctors on dating apps is due to self-sabotage, emotional IQ, lack of self-awareness, inability to prioritize dating, bad photos, poor communication or lack of proper etiquette (no different from non-doctors).

 

Final Thoughts, Takeaways. Dating As A Doctor, Do Doctors Date Non-Doctors

Most frustration I see among doctors and dating apps is unrealistic expectations, poor profiles, lack of patience or using dating apps like ordering apps i.e. Doordash. Many doctors lack the skills to communicate effectively, plan dates, prioritize dating/partners or be physically and emotionally available.

A doctor only dating app will likely not help these underlying issues. For those that are looking for help with the dating efforts, I offer dating profile help. I work with CEO’s, government officials, scientists, tech workers, PHD’s and other advanced degree holders.

 

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About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie Hernandez is a dating consultant & professional photographer based in San Francisco, servicing clients in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago and beyond as featured in the NYTimes, SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle.

In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice, date planning, screening profiles, ID'ing red flags, offline techniques for meeting people organically, naturally.

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