How To Look Attractive In Dating Photos (Men, Women): How To Pose, What To Wear, How To Smile, How To Look More Interesting, Dating Photos What To Pick

If you have spent any amount of time on dating apps you will notice a common theme of self-sabotaging photos stemming from bad lighting, photos taken from weird top down angles, excessive filters, weird facial expressions, dark/distant photos and cringeworthy selfies.

Related read: Most Attractive Hobbies, Least Attractive Interests For Dating Profile


Why Do I Not Look Good In Photos? Why Do I Look Bad In Photos?

All it takes is a few bad photos to conjure up uneasiness about posing for the next photo. Not everyone is comfortable in front of the camera and if you are like most people, you were likely a bit awkward growing up or changed your appearance over the years.

There are many factors that go into looking good and taking flattering photos including eating well, exercise, lighting, clothing, smiles, grooming etiquette, angles and timing.

Not everyone can pose confidently on command, so it helps to take photos when you are around people you like and moments that make you feel good. It also helps to have a good photographer who can help guide you.

Related read: Deceptive, Misleading Dating App Photos


How To Be More Attractive On Dating Photos (Men, Women)

Not everyone is an Instagram model (nor should they be) but first impressions are everything on dating apps and I estimate 90% of the decision to advance past the first roadblock of online dating is using good, flattering photos.

Your dating photos do not have to (and should not) be professionally taken, possess blurred (bokeh) backgrounds, captured in studios, look reminiscent of LinkedIn headshots nor look like awful stock photos.


bad linkedin profile picture

bad linkedin profile picture



How To Look Good In Photos, How To Take Good Profile Picture & How To Look Attractive

So if you avoid professional photographers and quick, lazy and easy selfies, what other options are there? Well you have come to the right place. Taking good, flattering photos (like all things in life) requires patience, practice and knowledge of the characteristics of what makes for a good photo.

Those people who post excessive photos of themselves on Instagram not only are processionals (I use this term loosely) but what you see is a single shot from a likely lengthy photoshoot.

Some people are better at taking photos more easily than others. It may be due to lots of practice, a talented photographer or natural looks. Regardless of the reason, everyone has the ability to improve their appearance in photos naturally with a few easy steps.

Be sure to read this intro primer on dating photos too:

Best Lighting For Photos: Soft, Diffused Lighting, Camera Flash For Photos

One of the easiest things to control about quality of a photo is lighting. Good lighting can soften skin, provide a warm, radiant touch to your skin making it easier to smile and most importantly reveal yourself clearly to suitors.

Bad lighting can make your skin appear oily, make you squint too much if the light is too harsh and most importantly cause you to develop shadows around the eyes aka raccoon or panda eyes. Bad lighting can also hide any details of the backgrounds and environments making it harder to identify and thus eliminating another opportunity for a conversation starter.

Dark photos are also associated with creepy behavior and looks, particularly for guys.

The best thing to look for when it comes to lighting is that is light enough to brighten your appearance but not too harsh to adjust contrast of your skin nor lose detail in the backgrounds.

Aim to shoot on cloudy and overcast days (more even lighting) and plan for photos around sunrise and sunset aka golden hour. When it comes to camera flashes, NEVER USE FLASH. Use a nighttime mode which requires more skill and patience but provide more even lighting.


Why Do I Look Better In The Mirror Than In Photos, Why Do I Look Bad In Photos?

Mirrors tend to be accompanied by better lighting, eve level views, enough distance and perpendicular angles.

Photos with camera flashes and sunlight create harsh shadows, photos taken at proximity distort photos (make them wider), selfies are hard to take because of not knowing where to look (it takes effort to focus, relax and pose and click the shutter!).

The other thing to consider is that we are harsh critics. People often look more attractive to others than they do themselves. Yes, many people take bad photos but that can be fixed. Bad photos yield a bad position from which to take future photos (doubt, uncertainty, self-consciousness etc.).

Having someone take your photo that knows how to pose, can give you tips on wardrobe, knows flattering angles and can put you at ease is invaluable.


How To Look More Attractive: Good Backgrounds For Dating App Photos

Backgrounds and environments make for great conversation starters on profiles especially bars, restaurants, cafés, travel destinations, hikes and views.

Similarly, photos taken in the bedroom or hallway of your home can be a bit creepy especially with unflattering lighting and suggest you don’t have a social circle to help you take photos.


Best Poses For Dating Profile Photos, How To Look More Approachable

The way you pose should reflect a balance of confidence and approachability. Many people lack the ability to look comfortable in their own skin which is arguably the most attractive look out there.

Make sure you are not slouching, your back is straight but not stiff, your hands are not just hanging out and the frame does not look like a stock photo out of the JC Penny portrait studio catalog.

Don’t let your head sink into your shoulders – relax them a bit. Stick your chest out a little. You want your body to come towards the camera. Placing weight on the balls (front) of your feet helps with creating flattering angles (also helps when you are learning to salsa dance).

Don’t rotate your face away from the camera (it makes it appear that the camera is scared of you). Most poses should not deviate more than 20 degrees away from the camera.

Related readAttractive Hobbies & Interests For Dating Profile


Image Consultant: Wardrobe, Social Skills & Lifestyle

Eddie is an image consultant in San Francisco with clients in NYC, LA, and beyond. He assists clients w/ fashion sense, social skills, hobbies & interests, etiquette, being more approachable around others & making friends.


Flattering Angles For Photos, How To Pose For Dating Profile Photos

You should aim to take photos at normal levels i.e. eye level. Occasionally you can deviate slightly below or above but when done too closely, it is obvious you are trying to slim your appearance and mislead people or you risk taking an unflattering photo from below the chin.

Taking photos from below the chin may reveal double chins or flabby skin that doesn’t look good.

Related read19 science-backed ways men can appear more attractive to women


Wardrobe For Dating Profile Photos, What To Wear In Dating Pictures

Your photos should illustrate some versatility in your lifestyle, wardrobe and appearance. Using all business suits is ok if you want to come off rigid, financially well off and very busy but most folks want to show some layers to their personality.

Similarly, wearing all t-shirt and hoodies in our photos might suggest your fashion sense peaked in college and that you never bother to dress up. Your sense of fashion can complement good photos making you much more likely to stand out from the competition.

One thing to keep in mind is to keep your attire relevant and balanced to your location and environment i.e. black tie affair at social gatherings, bathing suit at the beach, work out attire on the trail, business casual at a happy hour. If you are overly dressed up or underdressed that can set off a red flag to those viewing your profile.

In addition to style, make sure your clothing fits, is ironed and complements your skin/hair. Guys are notorious for wearing clothing too large and women too small.

Knowing which colors complement your skin and hair can add notch to your attractiveness (clients of mine receive direction on clothing during their photoshoot consultation).

More information here


Should You Smile In Online Dating Photos? Smiling On Dating App Photos, Hinge, Bumble

Smile! Smile! Smile! Many people lack energy i.e. DMV headshots or look like a criminal i.e. mugshot. You need to learn to smile but note all smiles are not the same.

Smiling varies from person to person and some look better with full smiles showing teeth while others should use contained smiles and smirks to minimize gums being shown and reduce wrinkles around the face.

Avoid puckering up, intense looks, duck faces and other childish, immature looks. “You attract who you are not what you seek.”

Dating Profile Critique, Review Services

App Choice, Photo Critique (Order, Captions), Bios, Prompts; Wardrobe, Hobbies, Grooming  Recommendations, Body Language, Facial Expressions, Lifestyle Choices (Men & Women).


Should I Use Selfies In My Dating Profile

Avoid taking selfies at all costs. One selfie is ok to use if you are on an epic location or travel destination or posing with some amazing creature but typically selfies are highly unflattering for a variety of reasons.

Selfies are usually taken at proximity which distorts images (making them wide). If you must take a selfie, use the back camera (harder to pull off be provides more distance between you and the screen and it is a better camera lens than the front facing camera).

Excessive selfies on a dating profile can suggest lack of friends and a lack self-consciousness. Everyone takes bad photos all the time but that is why there is practically free digital storage.


How To Look Smart in Photos

Contrary to popular belief, looking like a low-life, moron, drunk, frat boy doesn’t do well on dating apps. Sure if you are a model, you can do fine but it will attract low quality people.

Dressing well, tucking in shirts, getting the right fit for outfits, not getting tacky piercing and tattoos, avoiding pouty faces go a long way to show maturity.

Going to sophisticated places, grooming well, wearing eyeglasses, going to culture locations make you seem more intelligent. Women notice details in photos (fit, brand, style, confidence etc.) These add to a look and make one more mature, smart and attractive.


Best Online Dating Photos For Guys, Girls – How To Choose Photos For Dating Apps

The best dating profile photos are effortless, candid, confident and show you in flattering outfits, environments, activities. They are not staged, intense nor stiff.


How Do I Make My Hinge Matches More Attractive?

Make your profile and photos more attractive.


How To Relax In Photos: How To Relax Your Eyes, Face & Mouth

It helps to learn not to give an ‘F’. Worrying about the outcome of the photo is a great way to get a bad photo. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the ambiance, enjoy the people, enjoy the views. Be sure to dress well, don’t slouch, and be sure to be present. Most people can’t fake a good photo.

They need to be in the moment with the right people, right photographer etc. Surround yourself with people that make you laugh, smile. Use soft lighting, take off your sunglasses, keep your face out toward the camera, lean forward, don’t shy away. Keep your jawline straight, get someone to tickle you. 


Am I Too Ugly For Online Dating Apps, Not Good Looking Enough For Online Dating Apps

If you think you are, or you think you are not, you are right. Dating apps are just as much about confidence, self-love etc as they are about looks, photos. You can always improve attractiveness with:

  • skin care
  • better lighting in photos
  • better wardrobes
  • exercise
  • smiles
  • lifestyle choices
  • posture
  • grooming/hygiene

Related read: Am I Too Ugly For Online Dating?

Dating When Not Pretty, Dating When Average Guy

If you lack confidence or unwilling to work on yourself, chances are you may not be ready to date, at least with using dating apps. If you can’t handle rejection or are down on yourself, it’s possible you will feel worse with online dating. You can’t hope for someone to pick you up, make you value yourself. You need to do that on your own so you can be ready to date.

About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.