Deal-Breakers, Biggest Dating Profile Turn Offs, Online Dating Turn Offs, Photos, Low-Effort, Empty Bios, Tinder, Hinge & Bumble, Men, Women, Instant Left Swipe

It’s very tempting to jump into the deep end and immerse yourself with dating apps. Dating apps are addictive and seemingly simple and straightforward to use. But with a new medium come a number of ways your efforts and intentions can come off negatively or the wrong way.

Anonymity encourages bad etiquette, check-boxes create unhealthy expectations, upfront information creates a false sense of security, easy profile setup creates lazy behavior, people read too much into matches (not a good KPI), access to numerous profiles provides opportunity for temptation or unwillingness to settle down.

If you have a hard time getting likes, receiving messages, getting matches or experience a drop off after exchanging a few messages, you might want to read what I have to say.

Dating apps can be superficial and there is little to no feedback to understand where things went wrong unless you get help.

Related read: How To ID Creepy Men On Dating Apps

 

What Does Left Swipe Mean? What Is An Automatic Left Swipe? What Does Swipe Left Mean?

A left swipe means you are not interested in someone and wish to move on with respect to reviewing profiles on dating apps.

An automatic left swipe is a phrase used to denote something so bad, obvious or unflattering that the image or content itself is enough to offset any flattering aspects of the dating profile even if the person is super attractive, desirable.

Related read: How To Report People On Dating Apps

 

Automatic Left Swipes On Hinge & Bumble; Biggest Dating App Turn Offs, Dating Dealbreakers

Dating profiles without a photo get automatic left-swipes. Dating apps that don’t require photos don’t work. If you are too shy to post a photo online, you shouldn’t try online dating.

For those that are new to dating apps, left-swipe is the term used to display disapproval for a profile that surfaces in queue on your phone. If you are interested in person’s dating profile, you swipe right.

I have helped numerous people optimize their profiles while maintaining authenticity, approachability and a touch of candidness.

Below are some tips to identify some red flags while online dating (I provide more detailed, customized advice for clients) including cringeworthy photos as well as awful pickup lines.

Click through the cringy aspects of dating profiles that typically lead to quick left swipes…

For an exhaustive list of online dating red flags and how to spot them, read this post.

Bad Bumble Profile Prompt Answers, Bumble Bio Woman, Bumble Profile Female

DATING PHOTO RED FLAGS: ONLY ONE PHOTO ON DATING PROFILE, SHIRTLESS PHOTOS, MIRROR SELFIES

Too Few Photos, Only One Photo In Dating Profile, Dating Profiles With Online One Picture, No Pictures In Dating Profile
Dating app requirements vary from app to app but at least 4 photos but no more than 6 should be used on dating apps. It is easy to fill this minimum requirement and if someone is struggling to do that or uses duplicate photos, outfits or backgrounds, take note. Dating profiles with only one picture are an automatic left swipe.
Tasteless Shirtless Photos On Tinder, Hinge, Bumble & Other Dating Apps
If you are at a beach or sunbathing, that is perfectly normal and fine. Once you get to the shirt lifting, multiple shirtless photos and flexing poses, you are entering the city limits for douchelandia.  
Excessive Selfies, Bathrooms Selfies On Dating App Photos
An epic selfie with a friend, celebrity or travel location is fine but limit to one in your profile. Having multiple photos or boring hallway photos is definite red flag that is associated with lack of friends, lack of confidence, lack of vulnerability etc. 

The selfies taken from high, awkward angles are a dead giveaway of this behavior. Women are the biggest culprits of these angles in attempt to appear slimmer.

Dark, Distant and Blurry Photos In Dating Profiles
If you have a travel photo with an epic background and dwarfs your appearance, this is fine to use but multiple photos like this can suggest a user is not confident in their looks or appearance or is trying to hide something.

Dark photos with excessive shadows look to mysterious and creepy. Stay away from these when possible.

Only Floating Head Photos, No Full-Body Photos, Unnaturally High, Weird Angles
Suggests you are hiding your body.
Inconsistent Looks In Photos, Photos In Profile Don't Look The Same
Your photos should reflect who you are and what you would look like on a date. If your photos are spaced too far apart in age i.e. more than a couple years, feature different hair styles or colors, reveal a variety of facial hair or conflicting weight, tans, body art then this could give others pause.
Snapchat Ears, Filters In Dating Profile Pics
This is not cute. These are some of the worst dating profile photos possible. Please seek help.
Wearing Hats In Photos - Hatfishing On Dating Profiles
Using excessive photos with hats can suggest hatfishing (term used by men who are trying to hide hair loss). 1 or 2 hat photos in the sun, beach or other relevant locations is ok but you should have 3-4 other photos that clearly show your hair or lack thereof to remove all doubt. 
Fish Photos In Dating Profiles
Most cliche photos for men outside car and gym photos. Nothing wrong with fishing but if you look lethargic or do this too much, will likely weed out most people for you.

More on cliche dating photos here.

Looking Too Intense In Dating Photos
Often times guys try too hard to look attractive, confident, smooth, nonchalant or arrogant. Trying too hard can come off as distant, ambivalent or narcissistic. Inability to laugh or smile is a sure sign that the individual lacks the ability to relax, be vulnerable, laugh at oneself or be comfortable in ones skin.

Tips on how to look more approachable and attractive in dating photos here.

Ambiguous Group Photos, Too Many Group Photos, Photos With Hot Friends
Group photos are fine but limit to 1-2 per profile of 5-6 photos. Make it obvious which one you are and never use them as your main profile photo. Taking photos with your hot friends will only leave the impression of said hot friend embedded in their mind. Use captions when possible.
Photos With Exes, Hooters Girls
Not sure why I still have to write this in 2020 but I do.
Cropped Out People, Cropped Exes In Dating Profile Pics
It is best to never crop out people unless the photo is too distant and there is too much space but if you do, make sure it is obvious it is not a current or ex significant other. With a lack of captions and most poses people will assume the worst.
Photos Without You In Them In Dating Profile Photos
1 photo is fine but ideally all your photos should have you in them. Pieces of art, random sunsets, pets etc are best not used unless you are in them. 

The worst offenders are those that use inspirational quotes. 

Narcissistic Looks, Narcissists On Dating Apps
Pouty faces, duckfaces, suggestive selfies, too much skin in not relevant environments, photos of your neck down, feet, legs or chest are all obvious cries for attention and need for validation.
Instagram Photos
Staged photos, photos with blurry backgrounds (bokeh), plandid photos, photos that look like they should be on stock photo sites. Suggests lack of creativity, lack of vulnerability and lack of uniqueness.
No Photo Captions, Bad Photo Captions - Low Effort Dating Profiles
Not all apps allow for captions on photos. If the app you are using does allow for this, take advantage of it. This shows more effort, creativity and adds context to photos which makes it easier for others to engage with you and reply to your messages. Similarly bad, lazy captions can reveal your true colors.
Misleading Photo Angles - Photos Taken From High Angles On Dating Profiles
Good Vibes Only / Good Vibez Only - Meaning
This suggests the person has a habit of letting bad vibes and people in their lives and are hoping people will out themselves for them. Don’t bother with these magnets. Closely related to No Drama people. More dating profile phrases decoded here.
Are Selfies Bad For Dating App Profiles? How Many Selfies For A Dating Profile?
Excessive selfies are bad for Tinder and other dating apps. They suggest lack of social life, insecurity, or lack of friends. One selfie on an epic lookout, hike or with a friend is ok but avoid anything beyond that.

Having 1-2 of the photos above is not the end of the world, but if you display a variety of photos and or profile items from these buckets or if you use one of these photos as your main profile, well now you know where you can improve.

First impressions matter and some people may make snap judgments based on one photo, your bio or one prompt answers alone.

Related read: Dating Deal Breakers

 

How To Spot Fake Accounts and Dating Profiles

Read this: https://eddie-hernandez.com/how-to-spot-fake-profiles-on-dating-apps/ 

Hinge Prompt and Answer, Hinge Profile Example, Hinge Profile Female, Male Hinge Profile, I'll Fall For You If

Dating Profile Critique, Review Services

App Choice, Photo Critique (Order, Captions), Bios, Prompts; Wardrobe, Hobbies, Grooming  Recommendations, Body Language, Facial Expressions, Lifestyle Choices (Men & Women).

RED FLAGS IN DATING PROFILES: BIOS, PROMPTS & ABOUT ME; INCOMPLETE HINGE, BUMBLE PROFILE

Empty Bios, Emojis, Laundry List Of Adjectives, Lazy Prompts
Empty bios, short bios, cliche bios (good vibes only), unsubstantiated bios, lazy prompts are all signs of low effort profiles. Low effort usually signals the person is testing the waters (at best), is clueless, or is looking for a hook-up.
Travel, Wine, Brunch, Hiking - Cliche Dating Profile Interests, Hobbies
No sh$t Sherlock, so does everyone else. Be specific, list trails, type of travels, favorite meals, favorite wine regions. More cliche interests and hobbies here.
If I Super Liked You, It Was By Accident
(Vomit)
I'm Actually (Insert Age) - Lying About Age On Dating Apps
Lying about your age on a dating profile is a big red flag. Suggests you also lie about your age on Facebook – who does that? 
Not Looking For Anything Serious, Not Sure What I Am Looking For
Indecisiveness and ambivalence are boring and a waste of time.
Lack of Friends and Social Circles
Excessive selfies, single person hobbies and interests, no mention of friends, isolating job is usually associated with a lack of friends and social circles. Nothing wrong with this if you are new in town but even so, getting into a relationship with someone like this can be exhausting and demanding to be their everything and only option for interaction.
The Office Quotes On Dating Profiles
No explanation needed.
# of Countries Visited - Dating App Bio
Tacky, superficial. There are others ways of communicating your travels, worldly taste for other cultures.
Empty Adjectives, Biased Self-Assessment
Aside from potentially and likely biased assessments, empty adjectives don’t reveal anything. They read like a laundry list or someone that lacks creativity. Talking about passions, hobbies, interests, guilty pleasures, priorities are all much better.

Worst kind of biased bios are ones that are quoted by friends or reference friends as the source. Friends can be biased. https://blog.photofeeler.com/linkedin-tinder-profile-photo-feedback-opinions-input-from-friends/ 

Joke Profiles & Answers
Joke profiles and answers are usually a deflection (hiding something) or shows in inability to talk about oneself seriously and be a bit vulnerable. Profiles like this lack depth and signal not looking for anything serious.
Defensive, Negative Language i.e. Swipe Left If, No Hookups
No players, no hook-ups, swipe left if… All defensive languages in profiles. This suggests an inability to trust people and likely inability to read people. People like this are easy to filter out and screen – don’t assume if you put this language you are in the clear. If anything, some guys are drawn to such a challenge to see if they can let down your guard.
(Insert Height) Because Apparently That Matters...
Only a whiny little b*tch would list this in his bio. He has issues with women and lacks the ability to be tasteful in his banter.
Listing Instagram or Snapchat Username on Profile, Bio On Bumble
Suggests that you are looking for followers, attention, validation or penpals. Similarly stating you don’t message first on dating apps does the same thing.
Height Requirement - Height Preference On Dating Apps
Nothing wrong with having a preference or deal-breaker but just ask the person or review their profile. Makes you seem superficial.
Just Ask - What Does Just Ask Mean On Dating Apps?
Listing too little information on your bio suggest laziness, insecurity or not that serious about dating. Adding this phrase suggests lack of maturity.

https://eddie-hernandez.com/decoding-dating-profile-phrases/ 

No Drama - What Does No Drama Mean On Dating Profile?
Your life is filled with drama. You list this because you lack the ability to filter this out on your own.

https://eddie-hernandez.com/decoding-dating-profile-phrases/ 

Entrepreneur - Dating Profile Bio
Code word for unemployed, no real job or sells weed.

DATING APPS

App Choice
Dating apps like Tinder are usually for folks looking for casual encounters, hookups but not always. Sometimes it is the only dating app in town (true for smaller, rural areas). 

It is not unheard for guys to have a relationship focused profile on Hinge or Bumble and a hookup profile on Tinder.

LIKING, COMMENTING, MESSAGING & MATCHING ETIQUETTE

Only Liking Profiles, No Comments
Liking is low-effort, lazy indications of possible interest. They involve no customization and are mindless. If you like someone message them. Don’t settle for a like as sometimes people use this to see who is interested in them first and then approach it like a numbers game. 

https://eddie-hernandez.com/why-men-need-to-stop-liking-and-start-messaging/

Hi, Hey, What's Up, How's Your (Day, Morning, Evening, Weekend, Quarantine, Holidays)
Chances are, someone has been asked this a billion times. Be original. Ask this later once you gain some ground.
Generic, Copy-Pasted Opening Lines
If something sounds too smooth, google it. If it is sourced on Reddit or some other suspicious pickup artist site, you have been warned. Make sure messages are addressed to you personally and not a vague comment or generic question.
Replying Too Quickly
People should be eager to respond to your messages but if someone responds too quickly too often, make a mental note. It is nice not to be ignored but everyone should not drop everything all the time right away to address every message – seems to eager.
Waiting Too Long To Reply
If the person you are talking too takes too long to respond, cut them loose. Messages should be replied to end of day or next morning of end of the weekend depending on when they are sent.
Trying To Get You To Leave The App & Use Other Apps
There is no need to get off the initial app you met on especially before meeting in person for a date. Being overly pushy on trying to get someone to use What’sApp, Snapchat, Instagram or phone number is a red flag. Yes, some dating apps are buggy but no need to give your personal contact info to a complete stranger before you meet. 
One Word Answers, Texts, Replies, Responses & More
If you ask boring, unoriginal questions, expect the same energy and low-effort replies. However, if you are continually messaging first and the other person doesn’t reply quickly enough or gives a good excuse as to when to expect a reply, move on. Sure people are busy but quality people will make time for you. If you don’t have options to move on, improve your profile and photos so you can afford to be picky and not so desperate.

DATE PLANNING

Date, Time of Dates
If someone is always pushing for late night or drink-focused dates too eagerly or often and won’t consider other types of dates then it’s possible they only want to get drunk or get you drunk. 

You should remain on high alert on early dates especially if drinks are involved. Don’t let your drink out of sight nor don’t let others order a drink for you while away.

 

Type of Dates, Locations of Dates
It helps to get a better read on someone through a variety of dates. If they are too similar it is hard to get a read on them. Mix it up, add in some light chores, couple dates or visits with family to see how they react. Also observe how they treat homeless, kids, servers, as well as behavior behind the wheel of a car.

If a date insists on date locations that are far away, always dimly lit, suggests sitting in corners away from others all the time or prefers places aways from his/her work, home areas often then take note. It could be he/she wants to avoid running into people but if you are dating for a while, it could be he/she is seeing someone else or is ashamed of being seen with you.

 

Worst Online Dating Profiles On Hinge, Bumble, Tinder

Online dating apps can be brutal but they can be extremely helpful with the right preparation, strategy and patience.

They require a set of skills that are similar to meeting people offline with respect to first impressions, communication skills, etiquette, transparency, vulnerability and an ability to read people.

These are just a sample list of things to look out for when meeting strangers especially if you are new to dating apps, are a little too trusting or don’t have friends and family to bounce questions and ideas off of. 

Related read: Least Attractive Hobbies & Interests On Dating Profiles

 

Too Many Followers On Social Media, Instagram, Having A Public Instagram Account A Turnoff?

These can be signs of a narcissist or someone who is insecure or someone who doesn’t value privacy. Having too many followers on social media can be a turnoff for many people when dating. For others, it can be a sign that you live your life online and lack the ability to be present and lead an authentic life when there is no camera present.

 

Biggest Dating App Deal Breakers, Online Dating Deal-Breakers, Dating Profile Turn-Offs

Smoking, age gap, distance, education, height, politics, religion, job, no clear photos, no full body photos are some of the biggest deal-breakers on dating profiles. An age gap of 10 years is cited often but that is relative to one’s own age.

As for height, there is a sharp drop off in interest within 6 inches of height. Mind you, people are more picky online than they are in person.

Flip-flops can be a huge deal-breaker as well.

Read more about deal-breakers here.

 

Worst Phrases Dating Profile, Left Swipe Reasons

-Don’t waste my time…

-Laundry list of requirements…

-Don’t be boring…

-Just ask…

-I don’t know why I am here or I am only here because my friends made this account for me…

-Entertain me or make me laugh…

-I need a guy that can handle me or if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve my best…

-My child/dog is a package deal…

-Looking for something real or no hook-ups…

Related read: Decoding Dating Profiles

Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women

Help w/ swiping, timing, app choice, messages, filters, deal-breakers, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags/liars/time-wasters, date planning, & using dating apps more effectively & efficiently.

About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). 

He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.

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