How To Spot Creepy Guys On Dating Apps (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble); What Makes A Guy Creepy, Why Do I Attract Creepy Guys? Am I A Creep Magnet?


Dating apps are one of the most popular ways people are meeting each other these days. They are a great way to meet others outside your routine, schedule and social circles, but there is a dark, unfortunate aspect of it that doesn’t garner as much attention as it should.


What Makes A Guy Creepy? How To Not Attract Creepy Men?

There is a lot of creepy, unsettling behavior on dating apps. Blame anonymity on dating sites, lack of background checks by dating apps, poor reporting mechanisms and offline messaging and interactions that are hard to prove.

Yes, it is possible to meet the love of your life on dating apps but the truth is, many women experience creepy behavior that is not talked about enough. Ask your friends and they will likely have a long list of messages, offline behavior, unwanted touching or stalking as a result of going on dates from people from dating apps.

If you are on dating apps long enough, you will likely be on the receiving end of some creepy behavior. It’s important to understand what is not acceptable so you can cut guys off early, learn how to report them, and ID them more easily early on in their photos, prompts, messages and date ideas.

Related read: Dating Profile Automatic Left Swipes 


Creepy Photos On Dating Apps, Creepy Profiles On Dating Sites – Online Dating Creeps

Most guys give away easy tells about potential for creepiness while others are master manipulators and are much harder to identify. Narcissistic photos on are a big red flag on dating apps. Some guys are so into themselves that they make things all about them.

Some guys prey on false sense of interest to attract women they are only interested in sleeping with. Likes and matches don’t necessarily mean a guy has read your profile or wants the same thing as you. Some guys swipe right on everyone and only focus their efforts on the women they are most interested in.

Unfortunately, some women think they can change a guy or only focus on the positive attributes while ignoring red flags on profiles such as low-effort messages or no indication that they read your profile. This is a big complaint on Bumble as it is harder for women to assess interest as a like reveals nothing (at least with Hinge, people can get more information about someone).

Related read: Worst Dating Profile Photos


Creepy Messages On Dating Apps, Dick Pics On Hinge, Bumble, Pushy Guys Online Dating

Some guys have absolutely no shame and will push the envelope to see what you are comfortable with sending messages and planning dates on dating apps. Some will send dick pictures on dating apps or to your phone number or Whatsapp numbers. That is one of many reasons why experts recommend staying on the app until you meet in person.

Most apps limit or won’t allow users to send photos to each other. While many women will ignore photos and either unmatch or block the user, that will do nothing to limit this type of behavior. I get it, screenshotting photos as evidence means you might have an album dedicated to dick pics, but the more often women report this behavior, the better it will be for other women. 

Remember, just because behavior happens often, doesn’t make it right. Don’t normalize this behavior or treat it as merely a way to out guys. The more women report behavior like this, the more guys will get banned, the more they will accept this is not ok and the harder it will be for them to send messages and harass other women.

Related read: Worst Intro Messages On Dating Apps


Creepy First Date Stories, Creepy Staring On Dates

Most dating safety experts will tell you to meet in public spaces and not accept rides from strangers. It’s perfectly fine to unmatch or reject a guy if he insists on picking you up. Rather than view this a kind gesture to offer a ride, one shouldn’t ignore this as 1) inability to take no for an answer but also 2) a method to learn where you live.

Similarly, one should avoid drinking too much on a first date or leaving their drink unattended. All too often, people mistake the amount of information on dating profiles as a false sense of familiarity. 

Staring without saying words is not always a red flag or a sure sign of creepy behavior but don’t discount it if a guy is staring at you in an uncomfortable manner. Other first date signs to look out for is love-bombing (excessive compliments) or requesting to be exclusive after 1-3 dates. 

Remember, dating apps don’t screen profiles for bad behavior as they don’t do background checks, don’t make it easy to report people and do not block people from creating new profiles after getting banned. 

Related read: First Date Ideas, Online Dating

Bumble Profile Tips!

Learn how to make a good Bumble profile, what prompts to use, what to put in a profile (photos, interests, bios & more). Addit'l help w/ boosts, compliments, messages, best photo/photo order, Bumble premium & more.

Inability To Take No For An Answer, Rejection On Dating Apps

You can learn a lot about someone by the way they handle rejection. Some guys think they are owed a message on Bumble if you match with them. Other guys believe they are owed a date if they match with you on any dating apps. A like or a match is merely an early indication of wanting to learn more about someone – nothing more than that.

Sometimes likes and subsequent matches are accidental. Given gender ratios, bad swiping etiquette and unrealistic expectations, guys tend to overly invest themselves in matches and can sometimes take rejection badly. It’s best to cut things off quickly if you don’t feel safe or even comfortable with a match.

Be sure to read up on tips to reject individuals on dating apps here

Social Media Messages, Stalking On Social Media, Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin

One of the most common creepy aspects of dating apps is stalking on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Linkedin. It’s for this reason alone that I recommend not using similar photos across platforms, as to reduce reverse image search efforts.

I wish I could say that it was uncommon for guys to search for you on these platforms and try to make contact either for the first time, after messaging you on dating apps or after being rejected before or after a date. One of the best things you can do as a woman is to make your social media accounts private.

Limiting visibility and keeping communication on dating apps rather than moving conversations to Whatsapp, IG etc. can reduce unwanted messages, make it easier to report users as evidence is more readily accessible, but also limit information about you that can provide insight like hangouts, schedule, routines and days/times when you are not at home.

Some women go as far to preemptively block bad dates on Facebook, Linkedin, Instagram to keep them out of state, out of mind while others take no action and screenshot messages and send to the dating apps as additional evidence of harassment.

Related read: How To Report People On Dating Apps


Stalking Women At Work And Other Locations; Online Dating Guys To Avoid

If your social media feeds are public or you list guys to follow you, message you on Instagram, they can see where you hang out, where you live (views from windows/balconies) or know when you are not home. Similarly, guys can easily find out where you work thanks to platforms like Linkedin.

It’s important to limit information on dating profiles as well. Listing profession and industry is perfectly fine and is not too vague for your dating profile. You can make your Linkedin profile photo private only to your connections.

One should also Google themselves to see what information is public i.e. photos, addresses, phone numbers and the like. Scrubbing the information takes time, but it is possible.

Related read: Online Dating Safety Tips 

Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women

Help w/ swiping, timing, app choice, messages, filters, deal-breakers, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags/liars/time-wasters, date planning, & using dating apps more effectively & efficiently.


Reporting Unwanted Messages, Harassment, Stalking, Abuse On Dating Apps, Authorities

There is always some level of risk when reporting profiles to apps or to local authorities. It’s not uncommon for apps to do little or nothing at all. Retaliation is unlikely but possible. Although most apps don’t make it known who reports them, some guys have such few interactions, matches that one can deduce who reported them based on timing of reporting (and recency of the incident).

Read more on reporting users and the pros and cons here.


How To Stop Attracting Creeps On Dating Apps – Why Am I A Creep Magnet?

Report users. Report users who create new profiles. Screenshot messages, profiles and photos. Limit information you post on dating profiles and social media accounts. Don’t ignore red flags. Set firm boundaries. Talk about behavior with others and don’t assume it’s ok or just something that should be accepted.

Avoid photos that are too revealing, flirtatious or sexual in nation. Avoid showing lots of skin, bikini photos, lots of makeup, bedroom selfies or excessive selfies in general. Too many selfies or narcissistic photos can be taken as a sign of low self-esteem.

Don’t engage with men who focus on your looks, bombard you with over the top compliments or who are super pushy. In my coaching sessions, I teach women what to look out.

Unfortunately, creeps are everywhere and doing the above items will help a little bit but it’s ultimately up to you to report folks, cut off people, make your social media accounts private, and focus on who you want to attract (and develop a profile around that) rather than worry too much about who you are trying to avoid.

Related read: What Do Your Dating Profile Photos Signal?


How To Deal With Creepy Guys, How To Stop Creeps On Dating Apps

It will be a matter of time before you have to deal with a creepy guy online. The best way to deal with creepy guys online is to report them on dating apps, Linkedin if they try to message you there. Limit public information. Block, don’t engage with them. Most will give up and move on eventually. If you are looking for other ways to deal with creepy guys, then don’t get off the app when chatting and planning dates.

Related read: Dating App Hobbies & Interests To Attract Others


Why Are Guys On Dating Apps So Weird? Creepy Guy Behavior, Messages; Am I A Creep?

It takes more effort to dress up, approach you in person than it does to create a dating profile. Anonymity makes it easier to do dumb things. Ask friends for help or hire someone to give unbiased advice about you, your behavior and more.

Related read: Online Dating Stigma: Are Dating Apps For Losers?


Least Creepy Dating Apps, Creepy Dating Sites

Avoid Tinder but really, creeps exist on all apps just like they exist on your apartment building, local bar, class, office and religious institution.

Related read: Best Dating Apps For Women


Are Super Likes Creepy? Is Sending Roses On Hinge Creepy?

Read this post on super likes, super swipes and roses on dating apps.


Why Are Men So Creepy?

Some pretend they don’t know any better, some blame social media and society, others blame rejection by women while others were not raised properly. 

Dating Profile Critique, Review Services

App Choice, Photo Critique (Order, Captions), Bios, Prompts; Wardrobe, Hobbies, Grooming  Recommendations, Body Language, Facial Expressions, Lifestyle Choices (Men & Women).

About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.