Should You Be Embarrassed To Use Dating Apps? Online Dating Shame, Dating App Stigma, Are Dating Apps Desperate, Are Dating Apps For Losers?

For the longest time, dating apps had a large stigma in popular culture. People on the apps were though of as homebodies, introverts, weirdos, loners, ugly folks and those lacking social skills.

While some of that still remains today, the outlook has shifted dramatically thanks in part two drivers.  Covid has reduced, and in some cases, eliminated organic, offline methods to meet people including bars, team events, social gatherings, classes and the like.

While men have generally outnumbered women at least 2:1 up to 3:1 and higher on dating apps, that gap closed a bit, at least early in the pandemic. Online dating adoption increased significantly among women since 2020.

The second driver has come from major celebrities hopping on the apps and legitimizing the use of online dating to the masses, particularly older adults. App usage decreases by age as users couple up or become jaded over time and app usage by celebrities has offered a glimmer of hope for those in their 40s and 50s and older who are brand new to apps.

Related read: Online Dating Tips For Introverts

Related readModern Dating Culture, Trends

 

Who Uses Dating Apps? Are Dating Apps Socially Awkward? Is Online Dating Embarrassing? 

Dating app demographics have shifted not just in terms of volume of users but time spent on apps as well as expansion of women on the apps but also those seeking marriage and hookups. Dating apps are merely an introduction tool – they are not ordering apps.

People who are attractive use apps not because they can’t meet people offline but to optimize on more channels in which to get in front of people. Some people use apps for efficiency while others use it as a way to meet others outside their social circles, routines and day to day (as they should).

Using dating apps in this day in age doesn’t mean you can’t meet people offline but rather are taking control of your dating life and prioritizing meeting others. People use technology all the time to find jobs, order meals, meet friends, find classes, discover events and like so it was only natural that people would use apps to find romantic interests online.

Long are the days of personal ads where people would take out posting on newspapers and Craigslist to find romantic partners. That initial idea has exploded as ease of creating a dating profile has improved.

Related readDating Yourself – Are You Ready To Date?

 

Is Online Dating For Losers, Socially Awkward & Introverts? Online Dating Stigma

Yes, there are some losers on dating apps, I am not going to lie. But guess what, there are losers at your local bar, gym class, workspace and neighborhood. The number of more desirable people on dating apps has increased over the years as people have become busy, are tired of meeting people at bars and stigma has been reduced around online dating.

The majority of people who are dismissive of dating apps are mostly jaded folks who are naturally bitter and have not had any success on apps themselves. There is a movement of toxic behavior called incels and red pill theory which has placed blame on women for men’s dating woes. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole. These people exist but they are not the majority of people on the apps.

Most of these folks are unwilling to work on themselves, get feedback on their profiles, or develop realistic expectations around dating apps.

Related read: How To Be Successful On Dating Apps

 

Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women

Help w/ swiping, timing, app choice, messages, filters, deal-breakers, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags/liars/time-wasters, date planning, & using dating apps more effectively & efficiently.

Are Dating Apps Only For Desperate People? Dating App Stigma

Yes, there are some losers on dating apps, I am not going to lie. But guess what, there are losers at your local bar, gym class, workspace and neighborhood. The number of more desirable people on dating apps has increased over the years as people have become busy, are tired of meeting people at bars and stigma has been reduced around online dating.

The majority of people who are dismissive of dating apps are mostly jaded folks who are naturally bitter and have not had any success on apps themselves. There is a movement of toxic behavior called incels and red pill theory which has placed blame on women for men’s dating woes. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole. These people exist but they are not the majority of people on the apps. 

Most of these folks are unwilling to work on themselves, get feedback on their profiles, or develop realistic expectations around dating apps.

Related read: Worst Bumble Dating Profiles

 

How To Stop Being Ashamed Of Using Dating Apps, How To Reduce Embarrassment

People who were on dating apps a decade or more ago were in the minority. Nowadays, if you are not on apps, you are in the minority. More and more people have started relationships and found spouses on dating apps than ever before.

A whole industry has been created around dating apps including those who critique profiles, rate photos, consult on which apps to use, assist with image consulting and help those create an interesting, inviting profiles.

If anyone is giving you a hard time about using apps, it is likely they are jaded, hopeless, bitter or suffering from some sort of personal matters. There is nothing wrong with wanting to find additional channels to meet someone in your life.

Meeting someone is arguably the most decision to be made in someone’s life, yet most people don’t seek out help nor put in the time and effort to make it happen.

Related read: How To Be More Attractive In Photos

 

Dating App Denial: Do Couples Lie About Meeting On Apps? Is It Embarrassing?

The number of people who use dating apps is hard to measure because many people who use apps have lied about using them and even lied about meeting their spouse on apps. It’s not uncommon for people to make up a story for wanting to create a fairy tale story of how they met.

Dating apps don’t have to be boring nor dull. You can make dates fun, interesting and memorable if you want to.

Related read: Most Common Lies On Dating Apps

 

Why Is Online Dating So Uncomfortable? Dating App Embarrassment

Some people are not use to using technology to meet people and text back and forth. That is fine but that is also a requirement to have success on apps. If apps are not for you, don’t use them. Simple, easy. There is no universal set of etiquette guides or expectations, which can make it hard to navigate online dating

Online dating is a misnomer of itself and some people take it too literally while others have varying amounts of 

 

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App Choice, Photo Critique (Order, Captions), Bios, Prompts; Wardrobe, Hobbies, Grooming  Recommendations, Body Language, Facial Expressions, Lifestyle Choices (Men & Women).

Dating Apps For Socially Awkward? Dating Apps For Introverts? 

There are none. Don’t use niche apps. Learn to become more confident. If you are too shy to use apps, stop using them and meet people offline. 

Related read: Alternatives To Dating Apps

 

No Attractive Women On Hinge, No Attractive Women On Bumble,

It could be there are no attractive women in your area. It C

Related read: Most Attractive Dating App Hobbies/Interests

 

Guys On Dating Apps Are Losers, No Attractive Guys On Dating Apps

This is true, some are. But guess what, guys in your office are losers, guys at your school are losers, guys at bars are losers. Get where I am going here? Loser guys are everywhere. You have to use good judgment, stop ignoring red flags, work on yourself and be patient. Dating apps are not ordering apps.

Related read: Dating App Filters/Deal-Breakers, Preferences

 

Is It Desperate To Use Dating Apps? Dating App Stigma, Is Using Tinder Desperate

Dating apps can definitely be awkward. You will likely encounter an ex, a relative, a colleague, a neighbor, a classmate or a current crush. There will be some rejection, ghosting, catfishing or lying during your stint with dating apps. Your date will lie about their height, age, location, marital status, or recency of photos on their profile. It happens.

Things will only be awkward and embarrassing if you let it. If someone sees you on an app – so what? You will likely see them too. Chances are these occurrences will happen offline too (maybe not at the rate of online dating, but still). Sure, Tinder is viewed as more of a casual app and perhaps be viewed as more desperate than Hinge or Bumble but it sill remains a top app for meeting significant others.

Related read: How Not To Be Creepy On Dating Apps 

About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.