Common Lies Men & Women Tell On Dating Apps: Dating App Fake Names, Age, Location; Lies On Dating Sites; Lying About Height On Dating Apps, Cheaters On Dating Apps
Dating apps, in my opinion, are merely another avenue (or channel if you will) to meet others outside your daily life. It should not be your only option nor should it be viewed as background check. Consider it more like a digital billboard.
With all billboard advertisements, there is sometimes a little lie in the marketing. Dating apps are merely introduction tools and for those that treat them like ordering apps like Uber Eats or Doordash, they will be disappointed.
What Do People Lie About On Dating Sites, How Often Do People Lie On Dating Profiles? Biggest Lies On Dating Sites, Lies On Dating Profiles, Lies On Dating Apps
It’s important to understand that not everyone tells the truth on dating apps (which is true of offline encounters, i.e. people hiding wedding bands or individuals wearing form-fitting outfits).
All introductions should be reviewed carefully, thoroughly and with cautious optimism. With dating apps comes anonymity and with anonymity comes increased temptation to lie because of a disconnect with others, matches or people you know.
Related read: Reportable offenses on dating apps
Lying On Dating Sites, Online Dating Profiles: Why Do Guys Lie On Dating Sites, Things People Lie About On Dating Profiles, Biggest Lies On Dating Apps
People are typically too trusting of people they meet (read the latest book by Malcolm Gladwell, Talking To Strangers) and either assume they always tell the truth, are overwhelmed by looks, bios and messages or read into profiles too quickly before verifying information is accurate or interpreted correctly.
Some lies are blatant (i.e. different photos, using photos that do not reflect your appearance aka catfishing) while other, smaller white lies fall under the kitten fishing umbrella i.e. (adding 1-2 inches to your height, using photos where you weigh 10-15 less etc.
I constantly scour the internet for all things dating-related (I even created a page to highlight the most informative, provocative and best advice out there to help folks). A study by Stanford researchers caught my eye when they covered the 4 most common lies people tell on dating apps.
I agree with much of the finding but I added my take as these groupings should ideally be broken down so you can review and put to the test when analyzing profiles, photos, bios and communication with matches. The four groups are listed below:
Self-Presentation (Make Yourself Look Better) – What Do Online Daters Lie About? Internet Dating Lies
Examples: Mostly exaggeration, i.e. mimicking hobbies, claiming to do something outlandish.
Test: It’s perfectly normal to have things in common but putting people to the test i.e. if they claim to love salsa dancing, ask them where they take classes or places gone.
Emotionally Unavailable Men & Women On Dating Apps
People often state they are ready to meet a quality person or get out there but then start balling and crying within 20 minutes of a date talking about an ex. These folks are clearly not over their ex and the ones that appear to be so, may not be in a good place to trust people.
Avoiding Dates, Schedule Mix-Ups – Internet Dating Lies People Tell
Examples: Lies to avoid meeting up i.e. have to get up early, have to study, missed the bus, got dates confused, stuck at work, not feeling well.
Test: Harder to catch in a lie, but ask if they are feeling better, ask if they can meet at your office and drop off a gift etc. In my etiquette guide, I put the onus on the person who canceled to reschedule the date.
Some people are desperate and makeup excuses and while trying once more to set up a date, that is the max I recommend anyone extending themselves to accommodate others, particularly strangers on dating apps.
Hinge Profile Tips!
Great Hinge profiles are more than just witty prompts and good photos. Learn how to make a good Hinge profile, how many prompts to use, what information to put in a profile, whether or not you should photo prompts and photo captions, and if you should link your Instagram account to your profile.
Lies About Timing – Dating App White Lies, Dating App Lies
Examples: Running 10 minutes late when you are taking a longer time or telling someone to visit you at a place but then leaving early to avoid them but wanting to appear like you made an effort.
Test: Communication is key, just extend the courtesy that you arrived early or that you might be running late even if you are not 100% sure. Being early and on time is one way to prove you value someone.
Indirect Lies of Avoidance (Online Dating White Lies)
Examples: Oh, I wish I could go. Sounds fun let me know when you go to x. Attempts to soften rejection but preserve connection.
Test: Some examples are indeed honest and some people are truthful about their intentions. You can ask in advance or on the spot to see if people can look you in the eye. It is easier to lie over phone or text than in person in public places.
Other White Lies In Dating Profile, What People Lie About On Dating Sites
The above are all very much accurate but are more so related to dating app communication rather than dating app profiles. Those lies often involve a date to be planned or communication yet to be established after matching.
The other white lies frequently told on dating apps are usually in the photos, caption, bios and answers to prompts. These lies could largely fall underneath the category of kittenfishing but others are much more than a simple white lie.
In of themselves, these individual lies can be nothing to some, but they can be a sign of insecurity, narcissism, deception or straight manipulation. It’s important to ask questions, take your time, reference answers and ask for help if necessary.
I routinely offer cursory reviews for clients on suspicious profiles and people they meet on dating apps utilizing all my many years of analytical, creative and research skills.
Many of these lies can be proven with a video chat, video date or similar via Skype, Zoom, Google Hangouts or Facetime.
Job Title, Employment: Should You Lie About Employment Status On Dating Apps? Vague Dating Profile Details
Lie: Entrepreneur, Consultant, Founder. These could all very be true but could be a cover-up for unemployment.
Test: Asking about concept, MVP, clients, current projects, look up the LinkedIn profile.
It’s not uncommon for some women to lie about their title on dating sites for privacy reasons and avoid being stalked but it’s also not uncommon for women to downplay their job title and education as successful women can find it harder to get matches as some men prefer less threatening (to their ego) and more submissive personalities.
While it’s not wise to list your company and title in dating profiles (safety reasons) it’s important that people understand some basic information about you including availability, socioeconomic status, working hours etc.
Related read: Vague Job Titles On Dating Profiles
Lying About Your Age On Tinder, Hinge, Bumble: Is It Ok To Lie About Age On Dating Apps?
Lie: Women are notorious for listing the wrong age in the bio age field but will write I am actually x + 5 years old or Facebook/Tinder/Bumble will not let me change my age. Men just straight up lie. Both are liars and insecure about age.
Test: Ask about graduation years, references to childhood, significant dates, where were they when X happened or find an excuse to look at their ID. Look up the person on Linkedin and do some simple math.
More on lying about age on dating apps here.
Lying About Name On Dating Apps, He Lied About His Name On Dating Sites, Guy Lied About His Name On Dating Apps, Girl Lied About Her Name On Dating Sites, Should I Use My Real Name On Dating Apps?
Should I use my real name on dating apps? Some women use nicknames for safety reasons while men and women do it for privacy reasons. Lying about name altogether seems a bit sketchy. People do this sometimes to avoid being found online. Be careful. Guys are more likely to lie about name to avoid being discovered they are married while women do it for safety reasons.
Moderated Name On Bumble, Should You Use Your Real Name On Bumble? Does Bumble Show Your Name? What Name To Use On Bumble, Name Moderated On Bumble, Why Did Bumble Moderate My Name?
If you are reported on Bumble, your account could be updated to show moderated as your name. Use your real name. Bumble moderated names is a huge red flag as people know you lied about something on your profile and will assume you are lying about other things.
Read: Bumble Profile Template
Lying About Height On Dating Apps: Is Lying About Height Catfishing? Why Do Guys Lie About Height On Dating Apps, Lying About Height Online Dating, Lied About His Height
Lie: Adds 2-3 inches in height to profile.
Test: Find a creative way, bet to see ID. Find a natural measuring stick like the door frames at 7-11, look for clues in photo backgrounds or just go on a date.
Unfortunately, there are a few professional ghostwriters that think it’s ok to add a few inches to their client’s profiles. Many guys think that unless they are 5’10” or 6′ tall, they can’t do well on dating apps. Rather than working on their appearance, profile, photos etc. they like to blame other people or apps.
Yes, most women would prefer someone taller (to an extent) but they want more is confidence, good posture, someone who dresses well, someone who knows how to shave, carry conversations, and someone who can make them feel great.
Should I Put My Height On Dating Apps? Does Height Matter On Dating Apps? Should I Put My Height On Bumble?
Yes, do it. It helps to weed out superficial people.
Do Short Guys Get Responses On Dating Apps?
Yes, they do. Too many bitter, jaded men attribute lack of success to height or women when in actuality, it’s more so to do with lack of style, confidence, smiles, self-awareness, bad lifestyle choices, aiming outside their league, education, job, age range etc.
Which Dating Apps Have Height Filters? Which Dating Sites Have Height Filters? Which Dating Apps Have Height Filters? Dating Apps With Height Filters
Bumble, The League, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Match.com, OkCupid. See other filters here in dating profile templates.
Does Tinder Verify Height? Tinder Height-Fishing
Only As An April Fool’s Joke.
Location: Lying About Location On Dating Apps, Lying About Location On Hinge, Lying About Location On Bumble
Lie: Often happens when people outside the city say they live in the city i.e. Daly City vs. San Francisco, Long Island vs. Brooklyn, Walnut Creek vs. Oakland. Apps like Hinge allow users to select their own location and allow them to change it anytime.
Test: Ask what neighborhood they live in, ask if they have been to XYZ down the street (make up a lie) if you think they are indeed lying or have lied about other things. You can also look up people online (public records, social media) with their phone number, name, age etc. to see where they live/have lived.
Lying about location on Hinge happens more often because unlike Bumble (which requires a paid subscription and relies on GPS), Hinge allows users to change their location for free. If they are lying about location, what else are they lying about? If they are willing to lie to you upfront, so quickly, they are likely to lie about other things. This is an automatic left swipe for most people. Location is a deal-breaker that most people will not overlook so why lie about it.
Related read: Bumble Location Explained
Marital Status – Married People On Apps, Should You Disclose You Are Divorced On Dating Sites? Lying About Being Divorced, Separated Or Married On Dating Apps, Lying About Being Single
Lie: Single but married before, divorced but only recently separated.
Test: Ask about proceedings, dates etc. These things can take time. Also, they are sometimes not definitive, especially if super recent.
Some people lie about being divorced so that others let down their guard with respect to inquiring about being married. Others have no intention of getting divorced. This can be a thorny subject as some couples decide to stay married for monetary reasons. Honesty is key, see how open the person is with you when dating. People should have nothing to hide here.
Related read: Dating Apps For Poly, Open-Relationships
Online Dating As A Single Parent, Lying About Having Kids
Lie: No mention of kids in profile.
Test: If you are looking merely for a hookup on Tinder and suggest that very obviously, then kids are not needed to be mentioned. If you have kids and suggest about dating, long-term plans etc. then definitely bring it up. Ask about last minute getaways, look at their social media posts, see their caller ID screens.
You shouldn’t post photos of your kids on dating apps but you should mention you have them and whether or not they are grown up, living at home.
Related read: Dating Apps For Single Parents
Want Kids: Should I Say I Want Kids On My Dating Profile?
This is a rather touchy subject for most. I understand some people are in a rush more than others but there is a fine line being clear in your desire for family planning and its another thing to treat dating like a job interview process. Dating takes time (time to learn about each other, develop chemistry and align goals).
Just because someone wants kids it might be under the right circumstances (certain date, with the right partner or once a level of safety net is attained).
Make sure you talk to your partner and make things clear. Assume nothing. Actions speak louder than words. Also, people have the right to change their mind, it sucks, it is unfortunate but it happens.
Rushing into the kids conversation can be seen as your focus on fighting a mate to bear kids rather than the person himself/herself.
Lie: Saying not sure or saying yes but not letting the person no that means not now and not anytime soon.
Test: Ask about their future plans, settling down, where they want to live, housing plans, timelines, immediate plans in the next 6-12 months etc.
Asking someone too quickly and too abruptly about kids can turn them off as it may come off like job situation. Start with indirect questions in early dates. Evaluate partners based on values, priorities and outlook rather than looks, grand gestures and great sex only.
Bumble Profile Tips!
Great Bumble profiles are more than just witty prompts and good photos. Learn how to make a good Bumble profile, how many prompts to use, what information to put in a profile, whether or not you should activate Bumble 'Best Photo' and what interests to list in your profile to attract the type of person you seek.
Balding aka Hatfishing On Dating Apps, Hatfishing Tinder
Lie: Many photos in dark lighting, from a distance, with hats, or taken possibly years ago with more hair.
Test: Look for recent photos, timestamps, social media, dates that require a dressed up look (no hats), reverse images searches, EXIF data on photos etc.
Lie: Live alone but live with roommates, parents or rent in-law unit from parents.
Test: Ask to go to their place if they insist on your place. Ask about apartment details, location, layout etc.
Photo Age – How Old Should Your Photos Be On Dating Apps
Lie: Photos taken years ago.
Test: Reverse image search, cross-reference other social media platforms, look up photo EXIF data, ask about timestamps, when photos were taken.
Photos should be no more than 2-3 years old AND look like you right now on a first date.
Photoshopped Photos, Skin Softening, Filters & Other Online Dating White Lies
Lie: Slimming photos,
Test: Go on a video date, look for other social media photos (non-Linkedin pictures) as those have a tendency to be photoshopped.
Cropped Photos In Dating Profiles
Lie: Cropping your photo to show a favorable part i.e. headshot with face turned.
Test: Ask to see full body photos. go on a Skype or FaceTime date.
Photo Angles In Dating Photos, Deceiving Photos In Dating Profiles
Lie: Taking photos at high angles to appear slimmer.
Test: Ask for photos at eye level, zoomed out, full body, go on a zoom date.
If a person only uses photos of the upper body (headshots) or weird, high angles, they could be bigger than they appear.
What is Kittenfishing? Is it Lying? How is Kittenfishing different from Catfishing?
Kittenfishing is an unfortunate millennial dating term that I hate but refer to it because people are familiar with it. It basically refers to slight deviations from the truth i.e. saying you are 1-2 inches taller than you actually are, using hiking photos when you don’t actually hike or saying you don’t smoke when you actually smoke here and there.
I still consider these things lies (some more than others) but you should expect people are kittenfishing on dating apps here and there. Catfishing is when you take on someone’s identity, lie about yourself or misrepresent yourself i.e. use photos that are 5-10 years old or 20 pounds lighter.
How To Tell If You Are Being Catfished, Kittenfished? How To Tell If Someone Is Lying On The Dating App? How To Tell If Someone Is Lying Online Dating
There are a few ways to reduce this deception but nothing is absolute. Video calls, dates are the best way to get a sense of someone’s identity.
You can also reverse image search photos, look up people on social media and see when photos were posted. Also, Googling the person and their current city can reveal some details around reputation and possible arrests or jail terms.
How To Confront Someone Who Lies or Misrepresents Themselves On Dating Apps?
If you arrive at your first date and realize someone lied about their age, height, weight, it’s perfectly acceptable to end the date right then and there.
If they lie about simple things, what else are they lying about? However, if looks aren’t important or you are not that concerned about a lie, you do you but don’t be upset if you discover more lies along the way.
Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women
Help w/ swiping etiquette, timing, app choice, first messages, filters, deal-breakers, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags/liars, date planning, cutting-off time-wasters and using dating apps more effectively & efficiently.
As seen in the NYT, Bumble & More.
Should I Use My Real Name On Bumble, Hinge, Match.com? Nicknames On Dating Apps, Fake Names On Dating Profiles, Using Real Name On Dating Profiles, Fake Name On Dating Apps
I understand the safety concerns on dating apps these days, especially for women but I also think not using a real name leads people to give pause, have doubt about such people. Whether they have stalkers, curious about what else they are lying about – these are normal things that come to mind.
If you are that concerned about privacy, it might be best not to be on dating apps. Using nicknames might be better as long as it’s legitimate, i.e. Ali for Alison, Becky for Rebecca etc.
Why Would A Married Man Join A Dating Site? Husband Has Online Dating Profiles, How Do I Find Out If My Boyfriend Is On Hinge, Bumble? Using Dating Apps, Tinder To Make Friends
Some people are in open relationships, or some people cheat on their spouses. Some guys use lame excuses like using Tinder to meet friends, which is total BS. Despite the best intentions of online dating background checks on dating sites, none are perfect.
If you want to find out if your partner is on dating sites, just ask. If you have to ask, your relationship is likely over already. Don’t make excuses, nor don’t live in a world where you don’t want to hear the truth.
Related read: Dating Apps For Open Relationships/Poly/ENM
My Wife Is On A Dating Site, Found My Girlfriend On A Dating App
It’s possible some profiles are created by scammers, bots or exes using public photos or personal photos from when they were together (possibly cropped out).
Rather than jump to conclusions, there are several methods to filter out possibilities and find out if profiles were created by said person or if they are old/stale or if they are created by others. All the more reason to limit privacy on social media sites.
Why Do Husbands Look At Dating Sites? My Husband Is Addicted To Dating Sites; Is Talking On Dating Apps Cheating, Is Going On Dating Apps Cheating
The more important question to ask is “Why is he still your husband?” or “Why do you let him treat you like that?” There is no reason a married man should be on a dating app or site.
There are a few reasons why he might have a legitimate case but even in those cases, he would tell you ahead of time why and chances are he has no business doing so.
Related read: Married Men On Dating Apps, Husbands On Dating Sites
How Can I Find Out If My Husband Is On Dating Sites? How To Find Out If Boyfriend Is Cheating On Dating Apps, How To Find Cheaters On Dating Sites, How To Find My Cheating Spouse On Dating Apps
Ask him, get creative with help of friends or hire a specialist to do a background check on him.
What Percentage Of People Lie On Dating Apps? What Percentage of Men/Women Lie On Their Dating Profiles? Online Dating Lies Statistics
I estimate about 50-70% of people lie at least once on their profile, photos. The volume and extent of lies vary but include one of the following:
-using a photo that doesn’t look like you (facial hair, weight, hair-style),
-omitting important info (i.e. having kids, smoker, drugs, unemployment, being in a relationship/married, not divorced yet),
-adding an inch or more to height,
-lying about location
-lying about job (entrepreneur)
-lying about emotional availability (not being over your ex or able to trust people)
Online Dating Advice For Women
Screening Profiles, Red Flags, Why Don't Guys Reply, Low-Effort Messages, Overwhelmed With Matches, Signs He's Not Interested, What Your Dating Photos Signal, Coffee Dates As First Dates? Lying About Age, Putting 'No Hook-ups' In Your Profile & More
Why Do Men Lie? Lying On Dating Apps; Common Lies A Married Guy Will Tell You
Hide things from you (spouse, lifestyle choices i.e. job, wealth) or because of insecurity (age) or he lies about being on a dating site (still, at all).
A few common lies a married man will tell you: We are separated. We are going through a divorce. I am leaving her for you. We are living apart. She (my wife) doesn’t love me. I am in a loveless marriage.
Related read: Manipulation Tactics in Relationships
Why Do Women Lie? Lying On Dating Apps
Insecurity and safety mostly (intentionally vague to keep away stalkers, exes).
Why Do Girls Lie About Their Height, Why Do People Lie About Their Height?
Some women lie about their height because some guys lie about their height. The more men lie about their height, the more inches women add to their height to avoid being height-fished on dating apps and having short guys waste their time.
He Lied About Deleting Dating Apps, He Lied About Deleting His Dating Profiles, He Lies About Being On A Dating Site
Some guys will use a manipulation tactic of offering to delete their profile to gain your trust. Sometimes they use Incognito mode, they might use a burner phone for dating apps or they might delete their profile on the app they met you on but still keep their other profiles on other apps.
How To Tell Someone Is Lying On A Dating Profile, How To Tell Someone Is Lying Online Dating – Online Dating Background Checks,
Should I Lie About My Height On Dating Apps? Should I Lie About My Age On Dating Sites? Is Height Important On Dating Apps
If you lie about height or age, what else are you lying about? Lies like this show insecurity or lack the ability to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s an insult to others.
Bumble Height Filter Chart, Statistics; Bumble Height Preferences, Bumble Height Study
Read the comments, this study is BS. Not everyone pays for filters. Also, don’t trust data from third party sites.
Why Is Lying On Dating Apps Common? Why Is Lying On Dating Sites Common?
Anonymity, lack of people filing reports, and apps not acting enough on said reports.
Dating App Height Verification, Dating Sites That Verify Height, Bumble Height Verification, Hinge Height Verification, Tinder Height Verification, Weight Verification Dating Site
One can only hope. Too many incels hate the idea of this. If a woman wants to date a guy a certain height, why do you lie about your height? Why do you want to be with someone like that? If apps don’t work for you, stop using them. Similarly, the reason why women have such requirements is because guys lie about it often enough.
Weight verification on dating apps won’t work because heights are absolute, people with lower body weight can appear bigger than those that weight less than them. If you are concerned about weight verification, just hop on a video call/date.
Related read: Misleading Dating Photos
New To Online Dating - Beginner Guide To Dating Apps
New to dating apps? Confused weather to try apps, matchmakers, or stick to offline efforts? I can teach you what to expect, pros and cons of dating apps, which apps to use, how to structure profiles, analyzing photos, wardrobe, hairstyle, grooming habits and lifestyle choices.
Great for those who are recently single, divorced, never used dating apps or are busy folks looking to meet people more efficiently.
How Much Do People Lie On Dating Apps? Why Do People Lie On Dating Profiles? He Lied On His Dating Profile, Online Dating Lies, How Do You Spot A Liar On A Dating App, Online Dating Rules, You Should Never Lie About Your On Dating Apps
How To Spot Fake Profile On Dating Apps – How To Spot Fake Dating Profiles
Online Dating Resource Guide – Studies, Podcasts, Research, Statistics & More
Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions – Dating App FAQ’s
Online Dating Red Flags – Dating Site Red Flags
Online Dating Ghosting: Ghosted On Dating Apps
Online Dating Background Checks – Dating Site Background Checks
Online Dating Safety Tips – Dating Site Safety Tips
Dating A Taller Woman: Shorter Guys On Dating Apps – Dating As A Short Guy
Biggest Mistakes Men Make On Dating Sites – Mistakes Guys Make On Dating Apps
Lying About Age On Dating Apps – Dating Site Lies
Deceiving, Misleading Photos On Dating Apps – Online Dating Deception
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He has insight into algorithms as well as a keen understanding of dating cultures across locations, demographics, and orientations.
He helps with profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & where to meet singles. Whether you are a POC, short guy, introvert, engineer, or just struggling with dating, he can help you be efficient & strategic.
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