Curated List of Podcasts, Market Research Articles, Statistics Studies, Survey Papers, Risks, Scams, Catfishing, Love Bombing, App Reviews, Safety Guides

Over the years I have stumbled on a variety of resources, articles, stories, anecdotes, and books covering dating culture, online dating, regional trends and more. Some of these can be found referenced on corresponding blog posts and pages on my site but I have consolidated them here for you on this page.

These are not endorsements nor recommendations but rather a library of well-rounded information for those looking to get a detailed set of views, opinions and studies. There is a lot of bad advice out there but these are ones I come back to and suggest to clients in addition to posts on my blog including this exhaustive step by step checklist on online dating success factors.

 

Online Dating Terms, Lingo, Slang and Definitions

Sample list of terms, slang, definitions to familiarize yourself with millennial dating lingo like catfishing. I don’t recommend using these in your vocabularly but it’s important to be aware of them to ID immature folks.

Online Dating FAQ’s, Dating Apps For Beginners

Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions – https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/ 

Dating App Profile Photo Intro Guide – https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-profile-photos-intro/

Best Dating Apps – https://eddie-hernandez.com/best-dating-apps/

 

Best Online Dating Podcasts

Maureen O’Connor (New York Magazine’s Sex Lives Podcast). Unfortunately this podcast is no longer producing new episodes (DAMN IT MAUREEN!) but you can still access the podcast on most apps, the link above points to her site which lists some of her favorite episodes that cover contemporary culture around sex (not focused on dating apps but does some episodes do). Definitely worth listening toiTunes Link

Documentaries (Video), Shows

HBO’s Swiped – Hooking Up In The Digital Age. Author Nancy Jo Sales investigates the online dating industry’s impact on gender issues, examining how it has changed the way people date and mate and think about the apps on their phones, and exploring how the act of swiping affects the ability to find true and lasting connections. CBS’ Dating apps turn finding love into a video game — and lots of people lose.

Netflix Indian Matchmaking Show – https://www.netflix.com/watch/80244565?source=35

Hitch – The movie that inspired me to do what I do for a living today…

 

Books on Dating, Conversations with Strangers

Read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari and American Sociologist from New York University professor Eric Klinenberg. Anecdotal observations, investigative studies about dating culture specifically online dating culture from the lens of a guy living in NYC. Outrageous stories, quirky examples of the pleasures and perils of dating in the digital age. Available on book as well as on audiobook (one of the few audiobooks that are done justice).

Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers. This book is a great read and helps to shed insight on why people have a hard time reading and analyzing strangers whether its on one meeting or knowing someone for a period of time. Many people have reservations about meeting people through dating apps, but dating apps are merely a channel, deception can occur offline as well.

 

Online Dating Studies, Statistics, Psychology Research

The Economist – How the Internet Has Changed Online Dating. This article shows how technology and app culture has impacted how people meet, behave and interact. Fascinating take only the way the Economist can do it.

This Atlantic article (A Psychologist Guide to Online Dating) is a great source for delving into the world of online dating and how it affects the mind. It’s a primer on the pitfalls, limitations and shortsightedness of dating apps.

Dating App Fatigue, The Atlantic article is another great read especially for those on dating apps for a long time and either don’t get likes and matches, meet the wrong people or start to have aspects of their lives deteriorate. An intro guide to the psychological effects of long-term dating app usage and what happens when you use this as your only method for meeting women and stop using offline techniques.

Huffington Post – The Perfect Online Dating Profile Is Not Perfect At All (Goes on to describe how the best profiles are imperfect, show candidness and vulnerability vs being focused on portrait type photos.

Washington Posts’ Researchers have figured out the one thing not to do in your online dating profile is a great read that discusses some myths behind dating profiles and what you should focus on instead.

BBC’s Game Theory and Finding Love via Online Dating

Deception in Mobile Dating Conversations – https://academic.oup.com/joc/article-abstract/68/3/547/4986443

Pew Research on American Dating – 10 Facts About Americans and Online Dating

 

Dating Blogs

Mine.

 

Online Dating Articles

Looking Too Intense by Photofeeler is a must for all guys planning on using dating apps. It discusses the ways guys self-sabotage their photos by trying too hard to look macho, sexy, confident in their photos. Although I don’t agree with using Photofeeler to make all your dating choices with respect to photos, this article is one of two I recommend reading.

Asking Friends for Opinions on Your Pics/Profiles? Why You Should Stop by Photofeeler – this is the other article I recommend reading before setting up a dating profile. It shows the biases that are presented when asking friends for help with photos. Note that most people don’t even show their profiles to anyone – I am usually the first person they seek help from.

Photofeeler’s Why Selfies Make You Look Bad – Pretty obvious but this goes into some technical reasons why to ditch selfies as well as briefly touching on why they are bad from a societal and cultural standpoint.

Online Dating: Are You Attracting the Right Type– This article talks about what people signal and what they attract through their profiles. Not super comprehensive but it does touch upon the pillars from which I try to coach folks on their dating efforts. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201906/online-dating-are-you-attracting-the-right-type

Why Women Keep Ignoring Your Online Dating Messages – this CNET articles is more of an advice column with a Q&A design but it does hammer home some key tips on why most men struggle with messaging women.

New Yorker’s Rage of the Incels is a dark but necessary look into the lives of involuntary celibates (incels). Not exclusive to online dating but an insightful read nonetheless.

Atlantic Article – Why Smart, Successful People Aren’t Happy In Life

Huffington Post: In Partisan 2019, Listing ‘Moderate’ (Politics) Can Hurt You On Dating Apps. Pretty insightful read, infers many conservatives list moderate to avoid automatic left-swipe.

The Atlantic: The Dating Market Is Getting Worst: Looks at dating over time and the problems with abundance of choice, time spent on apps, incels, etc.

Dating Profile Ghostwriter Reflects On Very Troubling Profession: https://www.fox13news.com/news/dating-profile-ghostwriter-reflects-on-very-troubling-profession 

How To Prevent Loneliness During Social Distancing: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-prevent-loneliness-in-a-time-of-social-distancing/

Online Dating Ghostwriters, Impersonators https://qz.com/1247382/online-dating-is-so-awful-that-people-are-paying-virtual-dating-assistants-to-impersonate-them/

 

Regional, Gender Pieces (Dating in SF, NYC, Los Angeles, Seattle, Washington DC, Silicon Valley)

Seattle – https://www.damemagazine.com/2014/05/23/amazon-killing-my-sex-life/ 

Washington D.C. – https://www.npr.org/local/305/2019/12/10/786637781/washington-has-a-shortage-of-single-educated-men-could-amazon-fix-that 

San Francisco – https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-in-san-francisco/

Dating In New York City: https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-in-new-york-city/

Dating Someone In Tech: https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-someone-in-tech/

Silicon Valley aka Man Jose – https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/editaudio/single-swipe-repeat/e/62172224 

Secrets Of Silicon Valley Dating Scene – https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/justinesharrock/the-secrets-of-silicon-valleys-dating-scene

Women Need To Date Carpenters Like Men Date Yoga Instructors – Great article highlighting how preferences and deal-breakers get in the way of finding love.

Vogue article regarding Dating Men in Silicon Valley “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

Guardian’s: How to speak Silicon Valley: 53 essential tech-bro terms explained

 

Online Dating Surveys

SurveyMonkey – Conquer Love with these Dating App Statistics. A bit dated but interesting nonetheless. One of the larger surveys spanning multiple datin apps.

Conversation Nation – Plenty Of Fish Survey – Annual survey of over 2,000 users.

 

Online Dating Safety Guides

FTC (Federal Trade Commission) – Online Romance Imposter Scams.

 

Reddit Subreddits: Reddit Tinder, Female Dating Strategy

r/roastme, r/onlinedating, r/hingeapp, r/tinder, r/FemaleDatingStrategy 

 

Dating Coach Services

First date ideas, wardrobe styling, places to meet singles, where to sit at bars and restaurants, body language, vocal intonation, eye contact, conversation skills, how to flirt over text, how to be more approachable and get people to start conversations with you, mock dates and more.

Online Dating App Reviews For Tinder, Hinge, The League, OkCupid, Bumble, Match & More

https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-app-review/

Online Dating Guides, Dating App Blog, Online Dating FAQ’s

How To Write A Good Dating Profile – eddie-hernandez.com/good-dating-profile-tips-to-stand-out/   

Is Online Dating Worth It – https://eddie-hernandez.com/is-online-dating-worth-it/

Harsh Realities Of Dating Apps – https://eddie-hernandez.com/harsh-reality-of-online-dating/

Psychological Effects Of Online Dating – https://eddie-hernandez.com/psychological-effects-of-online-dating/

How To Spot Fake Online Dating Profiles – https://eddie-hernandez.com/how-to-spot-fake-profiles-on-dating-apps/

Manipulation While Dating & In Relationships – https://eddie-hernandez.com/signs-of-manipulation-in-dating-relationships/

Online Dating Red Flags – https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-red-flags/

How To Be Successful At Online Dating – https://eddie-hernandez.com/how-to-be-successful-with-online-dating/

Biggest Mistakes Women Make With Online Dating – https://eddie-hernandez.com/biggest-mistakes-women-make-on-dating-sites/

What Are The Rules, Etiquette Guide For Online Dating – https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-etiquette/

 

Professional Matchmaker Reviews, Ghostwriter Reviews, High-End Matchmaking Services

Most matchmakers use Trustpilot for their main review source. I do not trust Trustpilot reviews. Google and Yelp reviews are more in line with actual results but even then make sure there is a substantial number of reviews from people, with photos, full names from each account. 

Yelp actually filters reviews for people who are new to the site, don’t have many reviews, lack photos or activity on the site. Read these complaints about their practices here. You won’t look at their reviews the same way again. 

Quora on Trustpilot | Trustpilot Reviews | Trustpilot Analysis | BBC Trustpilot Watchdog Report

Reasons why you shouldn’t hire a matchmaker or ghostwriter. With that said, most success stories are not publicized for privacy reasons as there is still a stigma around using dating apps, matchmakers, etc. Take each review with a grain of salt.

Read more about Dating Apps vs Matchmakers, Matchmaking Service Reviews and more here in this guide.

About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie Hernandez is a dating consultant & professional photographer based in San Francisco, servicing clients in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago and beyond as featured in the NYTimes, SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle.

In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice, date planning, screening profiles, ID'ing red flags, offline techniques for meeting people organically, naturally. 

Dating App FAQ's  |  Online Dating Resource Guide  |  How To Be Successful With Dating Apps

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