Comprehensive List of Online Dating Resources: Podcasts, Research Articles, Statistics Studies, Survey Papers, Risks, Scams, Catfishing, Love Bombing, App Reviews, Safety Guides
Tips from a dating coach and online dating app consultant.
Over the years I have stumbled on a variety of resources, articles, stories, anecdotes, and books covering dating culture, online dating, regional trends and more. Some of these can be found referenced on corresponding blog posts and pages on my site but I have consolidated them here for you on this page.
These are not endorsements nor recommendations but rather a library of well-rounded information for those looking to get a detailed set of views, opinions and studies. There is a lot of bad advice out there but these are ones I come back to and suggest to clients in addition to posts on my blog (https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/).
Online Dating Terms, Slang and Definitions.
Sample list of terms, slang, definitions to familiarize yourself with millennial dating lingo like catfishing.
Best Dating Podcasts
Maureen O’Connor (New York Magazine’s Sex Lives Podcast). Unfortunately this podcast is no longer producing new episodes (DAMN IT MAUREEN!) but you can still access the podcast on most apps, the link above points to her site which lists some of her favorite episodes that cover contemporary culture around sex (not focused on dating apps but does some episodes do). Definitely worth listening to. iTunes Link
HBO’s Swiped – Hooking Up In The Digital Age. Author Nancy Jo Sales investigates the online dating industry’s impact on gender issues, examining how it has changed the way people date and mate and think about the apps on their phones, and exploring how the act of swiping affects the ability to find true and lasting connections. CBS’ Dating apps turn finding love into a video game — and lots of people lose.
Books on Dating, Conversations with Strangers
Read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari and American Sociologist from New York University professor Eric Klinenberg. Anecdotal observations, investigative studies about dating culture specifically online dating culture from the lens of a guy living in NYC. Outrageous stories, quirky examples of the pleasures and perils of dating in the digital age. Available on book as well as on audiobook (one of the few audiobooks that are done justice).
Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers. This book is a great read and helps to shed insight on why people have a hard time reading and analyzing strangers whether its on one meeting or knowing someone for a period of time. Many people have reservations about meeting people through dating apps, but dating apps are merely a channel, deception can occur offline as well.
Online Dating Studies, Statistics, Psychology Research
The Economist – How the Internet Has Changed Online Dating. This article shows how technology and app culture has impacted how people meet, behave and interact. Fascinating take only the way the Economist can do it.
This Atlantic article (A Psychologist Guide to Online Dating) is a great source for delving into the world of online dating and how it affects the mind. It’s a primer on the pitfalls, limitations and shortsightedness of dating apps.
Dating App Fatigue, The Atlantic article is another great read especially for those on dating apps for a long time and either don’t get likes and matches, meet the wrong people or start to have aspects of their lives deteriorate. An intro guide to the psychological effects of long-term dating app usage and what happens when you use this as your only method for meeting women and stop using offline techniques.
Huffington Post – The Perfect Online Dating Profile Is Not Perfect At All (Goes on to describe how the best profiles are imperfect, show candidness and vulnerability vs being focused on portrait type photos.
Washington Posts’ Researchers have figured out the one thing not to do in your online dating profile is a great read that discusses some myths behind dating profiles and what you should focus on instead.
Deception in Mobile Dating Conversations – https://academic.oup.com/joc/article-abstract/68/3/547/4986443
Pew Research on American Dating – 10 Facts About Americans and Online Dating
Online Dating Articles
Looking Too Intense by Photofeeler is a must for all guys planning on using dating apps. It discusses the ways guys self-sabotage their photos by trying too hard to look macho, sexy, confident in their photos. Although I don’t agree with using Photofeeler to make all your dating choices with respect to photos, this article is one of two I recommend reading.
Asking Friends for Opinions on Your Pics/Profiles? Why You Should Stop by Photofeeler – this is the other article I recommend reading before setting up a dating profile. It shows the biases that are presented when asking friends for help with photos. Note that most people don’t even show their profiles to anyone – I am usually the first person they seek help from.
Photofeeler’s Why Selfies Make You Look Bad – Pretty obvious but this goes into some technical reasons why to ditch selfies as well as briefly touching on why they are bad from a societal and cultural standpoint.
Online Dating: Are You Attracting the Right Type– This article talks about what people signal and what they attract through their profiles. Not super comprehensive but it does touch upon the pillars from which I try to coach folks on their dating efforts. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201906/online-dating-are-you-attracting-the-right-type
Why Women Keep Ignoring Your Online Dating Messages – this CNET articles is more of an advice column with a Q&A design but it does hammer home some key tips on why most men struggle with messaging women.
New Yorker’s Rage of the Incels is a dark but necessary look into the lives of involuntary celibates (incels). Not exclusive to online dating but an insightful read nonetheless.
Huffington Post: In Partisan 2019, Listing ‘Moderate’ (Politics) Can Hurt You On Dating Apps. Pretty insightful read, infers many conservatives list moderate to avoid automatic left-swipe.
The Atlantic: The Dating Market Is Getting Worst: Looks at dating over time and the problems with abundance of choice, time spent on apps, incels, etc.
How To Prevent Loneliness In The Times of Social Distancing (Coronavirus)
Dating Advice: https://www.datingadvice.com/
Dating Profile Ghostwriter Reflects On Very Troubling Profession: https://www.fox13news.com/news/dating-profile-ghostwriter-reflects-on-very-troubling-profession
How To Prevent Loneliness During Social Distancing: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-prevent-loneliness-in-a-time-of-social-distancing/
Regional, Gender Pieces (Dating in SF, Seattle, Washington DC, Silicon Valley)
San Francisco – https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-in-san-francisco/
Silicon Valley aka Man Jose – https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/editaudio/single-swipe-repeat/e/62172224
Women Need To Date Carpenters Like Men Date Yoga Instructors – Great article highlight how preferences and deal-breakers get in the way of finding love.
Vogue article regarding Dating Men in Silicon Valley “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”
Online Dating Surveys
SurveyMonkey – Conquer Love with these Dating App Statistics. A bit dated but interesting nonetheless. One of the larger surveys spanning multiple dating apps.
Conversation Nation – Plenty Of Fish Survey – Annual survey of over 2,000 users.
Online Dating Safety Guides
FTC (Federal Trade Commission) – Online Romance Imposter Scams.
Many companies try to use Trustpilot to bury the other reviews on listing sites, I don’t recommend trusting them, you can Google Trustpilot reviews, scams and see the number of times bad reviews are deleted.
Don’t hire a matchmaker, don’t outsource your dating life. It’s deceiving and ineffective: https://eddie-hernandez.com/why-you-should-not-outsource-your-dating-life/
Tawkify Yelp Reviews – https://www.yelp.com/biz/tawkify-new-york
Tawkify Better Business Bureau Reviews – https://www.bbb.org/us/ca/san-francisco/profile/dating-services/tawkify-1116-874156
Silicon Valley Matchmaker Reviews – https://www.yelp.com/biz/silicon-valley-matchmakers-san-mateo
Silicon Valley Matchmaker Small Claims Lawsuit– https://abc7news.com/bay-area-matchmaker-taken-to-court-singles-take-7-on-your-side-michael-finney/3425603/
Three Day Rule Complaints: https://www.bbb.org/us/ca/santa-monica/profile/dating-services/three-day-rule-1216-353909/complaints
Brotherton Holdings – https://www.kansascity.com/news/business/personal-finance/article177052366.html
Vida / Virtual Dating Assistants Review – https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/9ke9kd/this-dating-service-will-flirt-for-you-but-it-will-cost-you
It’s Just Lunch Reviews – https://www.yelp.com/biz/its-just-lunch-san-francisco-2
It’s Just Lunch Refund Story – https://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/28/your-money/in-search-of-romance-but-settling-for-a-refund.html
Linx Dating Reviews: https://www.yelp.com/biz/linx-dating-menlo-park
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a professional photographer (based in San Francisco, travel to Chicago, Los Angeles, New York and beyond) specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/
Dating Profile Critique
For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for an online dating profile critique you can read more about my services here.
For other helpful online dating tips check out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/
Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions (Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/
Online Dating Safety Tips: https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-safety-tips/
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