Comprehensive List of Resources For Online Dating: Podcasts, Articles, Studies, Surveys, Safety Guides and More
Tips from a dating coach and consultant.
Over the years I have stumbled on a variety of resources, articles, stories, anecdotes, books and moe covering dating culture, online dating, regional trends and more. Some of these can be found referenced on corresponding blog posts and pages on my site but I have consolidated them here for you on this page.
These are not endorsements nor recommendations but rather a library of well-rounded information for those looking to get a detailed set of views, opinions and studies. There is a lot of bad advice out there but these are ones I come back to and suggest to clients in addition to posts on my blog (https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/)
Maureen O’Connor (New York Magazine’s Sex Lives Podcast). Unfortunately this podcast is no longer producing new episodes (DAMNIT MAUREEN!) but you can still access the podcast on most apps, the link above points to her site which lists some of her favorite episodes that cover contemporary culture around sex (not focused on dating apps but does some episodes do). Definitely worth listening to (I will add in my favorite episodes here shortly).
HBO’s Swiped – Hooking Up In The Digital Age. Author Nancy Jo Sales investigates the online dating industry’s impact on gender issues, examining how it has changed the way people date and mate and think about the apps on their phones, and exploring how the act of swiping affects the ability to find true and lasting connections.
Read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari and American Sociologist from New York University professor Eric Klinenberg . Anecdotal observations, investigative studies about dating culture specifically online dating culture from the lens of a guy living in NYC. Outrageous stories, quirky examples of the pleasures and perils of dating in the digital age. Available on book as well as on audiobook (one of the few audiobooks that are done justice).
Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers. This book is a great read and helps to shed insight on why people have a hard time reading and analyzing strangers whether its on one meeting or knowing someone for a period of time. Many people have reservations about meeting people through dating apps, but dating apps are merely a channel, deception can occur offline as well.
The Economist – How the Internet Has Changed Online Dating. This article shows how technology and app culture has impacted how people meet, behave and interact. Super interesting take only the way the Economist can do it.
This Atlantic article (A Psychologist Guide to Online Dating) is a great source for delving into the world of online dating and how it affects the mind. It’s a primer on the pitfalls, limitations and short-sightedness of dating apps.
Dating App Fatigue, The Atlantic article is another great read especially for those on dating apps for a long time and either don’t get likes and matches, meet the wrong people or start to have aspects of their lives deteriorate. An intro guide to the psychological effects of long-term dating app usage and what happens when you use this as your only method for meeting women and stop using offline techniques.
Huffington Post – The Perfect Online Dating Profile Is Not Perfect At All (Goes on to describe how the best profiles are imperfect, show candidness and vulnerability vs being focused on portrait type photos.
Washington Posts’ Researchers have figured out the one thing not to do in your online dating profile is a great read that discusses some of the myths behind dating profiles and what you should focus on instead.
Looking Too Intense by Photofeeler is a must for all guys planning on using dating apps. It discusses the ways guys self-sabotage their photos by trying too hard to look macho, sexy, confident in their photos. Although I don’t agree with using Photofeeler to make all your dating choices with respect to photos, this article is one of two I recommend reading.
Asking Friends for Opinions on Your Pics/Profiles? Why You Should Stop by Photofeeler – this is the other article I recommend reading before setting up a dating profile. It shows the biases that are presented when asking friends for help with photos. Note that most people don’t even show their profiles to anyone – I am usually the first person they seek help from.
Photofeeler’s Why Selfies Make You Look Bad – Pretty obvous but this goes into some of the technical reasons why to ditch selfies as well as briefly touching on why they are bad from a societal and cultural standpoint.
Online Dating: Are You Attracting the Right Type– This article talks about what people signal and what they attract through their profiles. Not super comprehensive but it does touch upon the pillars from which I try to coach folks on their dating efforts. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201906/online-dating-are-you-attracting-the-right-type
Why Women Keep Ignoring Your Online Dating Messages – this CNet articles is more of an advice column with a Q&A design but it does hammer home some key tips on why most men struggle with messaging women.
New Yorker’s Rage of the Incels is a dark but necessary look into the lives of involuntary celibates (incels). Not exclusive to online dating but an insightful read nonetheless.
Huffington Post: In Partisan 2019, Listing ‘Moderate’ (Politics) Can Hurt You On Dating Apps. Pretty insightful read, infers many conservatives list moderate to avoid automatic left-swipe.
Silicon Valley aka Man Jose – https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/editaudio/single-swipe-repeat/e/62172224
Amy Webb’s How I Hacked Online Dating is one of my favorite Ted Talk’s after all these years. It provides a generally honest yet optimistic view of online dating.
SurveyMonkey – Conquer Love with these Dating App Statistics. A bit dated but interesting nonetheless. One of the larger surveys spanning multiple dating apps.
Conversation Nation – Plenty Of Fish Survey – Annual survey of over 2,000 users.
FTC (Federal Trade Commission) – Online Romance Imposter Scams.