ENM, Open-Relationship, Poly Dating Apps: Hinge, Bumble & Feeld

ENM, Poly Dating Apps, Open Relationship Dating Sites, Partnered On Dating Sites

Dating apps and sites have come a long way since the days of Match.com and Okcupid. There are now niche apps for just about every app out there (religion, race, lifestyle, orientation, politics and more) ranging from Black People Meet, Farmer’s Only, J-Date and The Right Stuff.

One of the more popular trends on dating apps these days is the proliferation of non-monogamous and poly community members on mainstream apps like Bumble and Hinge. It’s one of the biggest gripes monogamous folks have on Reddit.

I will aim to help you understand what the meanings are in the profile bio descriptions, outline etiquette around how to approach dating apps and what to put a dating profile bio.

Related read: Online Dating Terms

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ENM Meaning, ENM On Dating Apps, What Does ENM Mean? 

ENM is an abbreviation for ethically non-monogamous and is synonymous with consensual non-monogamy. At its core, it states that people in the relationship can have more than one romantic partner and that all parties are aware and enthusiastic about the arrangement.

ENM relationships are getting more popular as people are making mistakes with dating and marriage but also factors like covid/isolation (more time at home with spouses), more mainstream popularity and facilitation by dating apps i.e. Incognito mode on Bumble.

It is not considered ethical if one of the parties is reluctant and doesn’t really want to partake in this arrangement and feels compelled to go along because they fear losing their partner. Similarly, if one partner is not aware of the arrangement, this is no longer ethical, but rather straight up cheating.

Related read: Most Common Lies On Dating Profiles

Ethically Non-Monogamous vs Polyamory vs Partnered vs Open Relationship

A lot of people are inclined to use these terms interchangeably but they are not the same. ENM is the umbrella term, and polyamory and partnered fall underneath this grouping.

Those who are poly may have other partners at once (multiple ongoing relationships, whereas some people might choose to dabble in one-off situations i.e. swinger parties or pre-arranged windows of ENM or while traveling (hookups) etc.

Partnered usually describes that a person has a primary partner (usually more involved physically, emotionally etc.) but that person is open to dating someone else casually (with their partner’s consent). They are usually looking for something physical, casual but will prioritize their partner first.

Swingers are another category under ENM and it involves other ENM couples who swap their partners. Typically, doesn’t have to be two partners engaging with another couple – it can be within a larger, pre-established community.

If this all sounds confusing, you are not alone. It takes some time to understand nuance around understanding, boundaries, frequencies and involvement (flow charts would be nice).

Related read: Best Dating Apps For Women

Polyamorous Dating Profile Examples, Open Relationship Dating Site Profiles

Do Married Folks Go On Dating Apps? Why Are Married People On Dating Sites?

Some people want to enjoy an open relationship. Some people are cheating on their partners. There is no rule against married people going on dating apps just like there are no rules about preventing married men from going to bars.

Related read: Married Men On Dating Apps

ENM On Dating Sites, Ethically Non-Monogamous On Dating Profiles, ENM On Bumble

General etiquette on dating apps is to list ENM on your dating profile bio upfront. Most people do, but some people try to hide this, whether it’s because they don’t want to be public about it or because they think they will receive less interest on dating apps as a result.

The exact status or category of ENM though is not always presented on dating profiles due to character constraints, complicated explanations or fluid movement within the ENM category.

Related read: Automatic Left Swipes In Dating Profiles

Best Poly/ENM Dating Apps, Best Non-Monogamous Dating Sites: Feeld vs OkCupid

Historically, Okcupid was the main choice for most folks but more recently Feeld has been gaining traction as well as mainstream buzz. Learn more about the founder here. Unlike Okcupid, it’s target demographic is ENM. On Okcupid, many users are monogamous still.

Okcupid has more brand awareness but Feeld dating app is gaining lots of traction as of late. Most people claim Feeld dating app is mostly for threesomes and/or unicorn hunters.

What Is A Unicorn On Dating Apps? Throuple Dating Apps, Open Relationship Dating Sites

Within ENM, there is a group of users who are in a relationship and are looking to add a third person for a hookup or ongoing sexual relationship. The slang-term for this third wheel is a unicorn.

The reason for it is that these people are very elusive because few are open to a threesome, rarely do both partners show interest in said third person and finally, said unicorn usually does not stick around for something long-term or ongoing.

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Bumble ENM, Non-Monogamous On Hinge, Is Bumble Good For ENM?

As ENM is becoming more and more mainstream, it has also become more common on mainstream apps like Bumble and Hinge. For the most part, people explicitly state ENM or partnered in their dating profiles, but not everyone does. This can be frustrating for those seeking monogamous relationships or those who don’t want to be targeted as a unicorn on dating sites.

As of late, Bumble is seeing more and more ENM folks on the apps. Currently, there is no label and thus no filter to remove such folks. Dating apps are inclined to keep things ambiguous and keep you on the app longer, and eventually pay for advanced filters down the road. Look for photos for additional cues whether someone is partnered or ENM.

Related read: Bumble Profile Template

Hinge Relationship Types – Is Hinge Poly Friendly? Hinge Non-Monogamy

Hinge actually has relationship types that specify what people are in but not everyone fills out the field or is truthful. For a full Hinge profile template overview, click here.

Open-Minded On Dating Apps – What Does Open-Minded Mean On Dating Sites? 

This term gets tossed around a lot in and out of the ENM community. It can mean exploring one’s sexuality or ideas of relationships beyond the monogamous framework. It is a popular search term for unicorn seekers as they target those who are not jaded, corrupted by experiences in non-monogamous environments.

Tinder Relationship Types: Tinder Polyamory, Tinder Ethical Non-Monogamy, Tinder ENM

Tinder recently launched relationship types where people can select what they are open to. These options are:

-monogamy

-ethical non-monogamy

-open relationship

-polyamory

-opening to exploring

More Tinder template questions here.

Dating Apps For Married People, Dating Sites For Married People

Most apps are geared towards individuals but some couples will post photos together in a dating profile on Hinge, Bumble, Tinder etc.

Consensual Non-Monogamy 

Used interchangeably with ENM

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Open Marriages, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Relationships

These are relationships in which couples allow for their partners to see others outside their marriage/relationship but ask not to be told about these affairs. In such arrangements, there is still a primary partner but each person is allowed to have affairs.

Cuckholding: What Is Cuckholding?

This is a sub-category within ENM and it’s when a couple brings in a third person to have sex with one of the partners while the other watches.

Related read: Online Dating Terms

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