How To Spot A Nice Man, Good Woman On A Dating App, Hinge, Bumble Green Flags,
Most of my writing covers red flags, warning signs, lying, bad etiquette, dangers, scams and what not. It’s important to be aware of these things as most people are too trusting of others and never think about such things.
Ideally people would be more honest, transparent, truthful and responsive. Below are a set of green flags to look for in profile, communication, date ideas and more with men and women across apps like Hinge and Bumble. Dating green flags are not meant to suggest someone is perfect, or even a decent human being but rather set of criteria to constantly evaluate others as you get to know them.
Related read: Creepy People On Dating Sites
How To Spot A Good Man, Woman On A Dating Site, App – Online Dating Green Flags
First thing one should look at is a person’s profile. Incomplete profiles are lazy, illustrate lack of effort and suggest ambiguity or insecurity. Leaving out important items like marital status, kids, location, job, hobbies, answers to prompts and thoughtful bios are a huge red flag.
Look for people who avoid cliches, are a bit vulnerable, convey details, fill out their profile completely and if possible, verify their profiles on apps like Bumble. Not everyone who completes their profile is a good girl, guy but at least you know they are not super lazy relative to the masses.
Using 4-6 unique photos (a mix of close up, full body and consistent looks) while filling out the profile and full set of prompts with details (beyond just one word answers and joke answers that reveal nothing about a person). Look for tone in answers i.e. positivity.
While it’s not needed to fill out exact company and title, industry and function is recommended as is intentions and what you are looking for.
Related read: Hinge Profile Template
Online Dating Advice For Women
Screening Profiles, Why Don't Guys Reply, Low-Effort Messages, Overwhelmed w/ Matches, Signs He's Not Into You, What Your Dating Photos Signal, Coffee Dates, Lying About Age, Biggest Mistakes Women Make
Green Flags Online Dating: What To Look For In Dating Photos, Bumble, Hinge Green Flags
As I mentioned above, a full set of photos is recommended. Photos that are consistent in looks, age, weight, hairstyle (to remove any doubt about current looks) is ideal.
Look for people that are enthusiastic, comfortable in their own skin. Those that are shy, hide behind other people (group photos), hats, masks, filters, sunglasses, dark photos, distant photos or high angled photos should be passed on. Look for people who show their whole body from normal angles.
Beyond the structure and style, look for people in the photos. Who they surround themselves with, the activities they are partaking and the tone and mood they give off should give you a clue about their outlook on life, social circles and lifestyle choices. Don’t ignore photos that are in contrast to what you seek.
On certain apps, look for photos that contain captions that highlight effort and convey context. These tend to show a stronger sense of seriousness than those who just toss up photos that are ambiguous. Look for smiles! Too many people convey a sense of narcissism, lack of energy or trying to play it cool.
Lastly look for people who have photos that are taken locally and reduce uncertainty around location. Look for people who show their hands in photos (i.e. avoid hiding wedding rings).
Related read; How To Optimize Your Dating Profile
Bumble Green Flags On Dating Profiles, Green Flags In Dating Profiles, Prompts
Look for those that list their current city in profiles. Too many people use travel mode and make it harder to tell where they are. Common lies people use is that they are moving to a place or still haven’t found housing yet.
Green Flags On Social Media, Linkedin, Facebook, Instagram, Green Flags In A Girl, Guy
Google people, see if you can find their social media accounts to get a better idea about identity, location, age, job, marital status etc. Just because you can’t find anything doesn’t mean you are in the clear – many people use fake names, locations or ambiguous info online or in person.
Take the time to ask questions, as people can be dodgy in person. Don’t rush into anything until you spend quality time with someone. Don’t assume compliments signal interest – plenty of people love-bomb their targets with over the top flirtation.
Look up nicknames, names and cities, names and companies, nicknames and cities. If a person has multiple accounts on a single platform, take that as red flag. Not having a social media account is not a red flag but lying about it is.
The number of selfies, narcissistic photos and lifestyle images should be noted. Do you want to be their next photographer and wind up on Boyfriends of Instagram? Look for profiles on their social media accounts. Do they have too many followers? Do they post too many photos? Do they fail to live in the moment?
More on background checks here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-profile-background-checks/
Harsh Reality Of Online Dating
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Green Flags In Online Dating Texts, Messaging; Green Flags On Hinge, Bumble
Look for people who send comments with likes. Prioritize people who show they read your profile and ask you questions. Look for people who match your responsiveness, etiquette, energy and etiquette.
Avoid pushy people, those that try to get you to move to Whatsapp or Snapchat (harder to report users). Focus on people who start conversations rather than wait for you to start messages. Look for people who answer questions rather than dodge ones you ask.
Avoid people who focus on looks, send compliments or use pet names. Look for people who treat you with respect, don’t force you to do anything you don’t want to but also those that don’t lead you down a penpal route. Look for people who initiate dates, make effort for those dates, address issues and have back up plans (show you they paid attention, read profiles).
Take note of people who unmatch after a number or getting a date or stop replying after a date is set. People tend to free up their match queue to make it harder to get reported.
Related read: Online Dating Messaging Etiquette
Green Flags On Dates, Behavior & Etiquette, Tinder Green Flags, Green Flags In Person
Look for people and their eye contact. Avoid people who don’t respect your space. Ask questions to see if people are present and have paid attention to your profile and are consistent in answers. Observe how they treat servers, bussers, drivers, homeless folks and kids.
Green flags are not a one time test but rather an ongoing set of check-ins one must look out for when dating and starting relationships. A lot of people (even successful people) have bad judgment and don’t know what to look out for. For those that need help, I offer coaching services for men and women, offline and online.
Green Flags I Look For Hinge, Green Flags In A Relationship Hinge, Dating App Green Flags
I really don’t like this prompt. It’s like giving someone a playbook and what to do, say. They can be lying. Better to figure this out in their profile or in person, rather than them doing or saying what you want to hear.
Learn to look for red flags in a profile. Don’t put up with low-effort people. Conduct your own background checks if necessary. Most people of quality sustain effort, interest, enthusiasm and action. Others quickly fade, give up or move on to their next target.
How To Find Good Guys On Dating Apps, Are There Good Guys On Dating Sites
Of course but it requires patience, good judgment, ability to screen profiles and read people but more so willingness to cast a wider net and filter aggressively. Too many women are too picky and fighting over the same guys. The taller the height you demand, for example, the harder it will be. Similarly, guys discriminate less then women when it comes to ethnicity so the more selective you are about race/ethnic background, the harder your dating life will be.
You can’t find a good guy easily just like you can find one offline easily. You have to know what questions to ask, what to look out for and how to decode profiles. In my coaching sessions, I help women do a better job with utilizing dating apps more effectively.
How To Know If A Guy Is Serious On A Dating App, How To Know If A Guy Is Genuine?
-Look for red flags
-Don’t ignore red flags
-If an answer in the profile is missing or blank, don’t assume it aligns with your preferences
-Ask questions
-Look for effort. Look for sustained effort.
-Understand what love bombing is and how to spot narcissists and manipulators.
-Don’t sleep with a guy too soon if you cannot handle being ghosted or lied to.
-Look to incorporate high-value attributes in your profile (looks, poses, outfits, backgrounds, tone, writing etc).
-Avoid making empty dating profiles, showing too much skin or being to vague.
-Go on a date with him and find out
How To Spot A Good Woman, Man On A Dating App
It takes time, patience, and ability to read people. Most people give up easily, quickly. See how they drive, treat others, Avoid people who lie on their dating profiles about their age, location, appearance, about having kids or marital status.
These are signs they are insecure and unable to give you the benefit of the doubt, or unwilling to trust you that you will give them the benefit of the doubt. In my 1 on 1 coaching sessions, I will help you identify blind spots and help you be more efficient with dating so you can prioritize those worth your time rather than making the same mistakes over and over again.
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About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie is a dating coach for men & women, as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, lifestyle choices, hobbies, social skills, screening time-wasters & offline efforts. Check out the new dating blog here.