Bad Openers, First Message Ideas On Dating Apps: Conversation Starters To Avoid On Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, Match.com, Coffee Meets Bagel & More
If you have spent enough time on dating apps, you will notice dating apps can sometimes feel like a numbers game. Sending out likes, attachments comments and messages and A/B testing lines are ways people try to increase match counts on dating apps. Strategizing when likes and messages are sent, resetting profiles and paying to see who likes you are tactics people employ to get an edge over the competition.
Most people spend most of their efforts and rightfully so. Photos are the #1 thing people notice when they come across a profile. The next thing that people notice are biographical information (location, height, age, religion, politics etc.). These items are typically what people use in their filters when finding profiles on dating apps.
What Should You Not Say On A Dating Site
Next comes any prompts and answer to prompts. Some prompts are better than others but even then most people do a poor job of answering them with any detail, insight. These times can make or break a person’s chances to solidify a match. If you manage to get by all those hurdles you are rewarded with a match – congratulations!
View additional online dating app messaging etiquette here!
Matches are a key metric in assessing your online dating efforts and should be acknowledged. There are many people who go on dating apps and never get a match. Some do get a match but only to find out it’s from a spammer from overseas, a military catfisher, an Instagram model or someone with an inanimate object as their profile photo. These things happen enough on all dating apps (some more than others) but the key thing to realize is that matches don’t really mean anything.
There are a number of people who swipe right without looking at their phones. There are other people who swipe right based on the main profile photo only or just the photos only to review the profile in more detail after a match is established. Then there are others who wait to see what kind of first message is sent by a match before they start to consider any time on said person.
Matching on dating apps means nothing until you start to exchange several messages back and forth – don’t get your hopes up on the match even alone.
I am not trying to discourage you from getting matches on dating apps but rather set realistic expectations. You don’t need a corny, cliche, over-the-top, flirty comment to get attention (those may work on apps like Tinder that are more for entertainment and those looking for hookups) but you should pay attention to your match’s photos, bio, photo captions, prompts, answers to prompts, facial expressions, attire, photo backgrounds, locations and environments when trying to come up with something interesting, unique.
Hinge Opening Lines, First Message On Hinge
Hinge gives users the ability to send a like or send a comment along with a like. Always send a comment, ideally a question along with a comment or opinion. Keep it concise, don’t be vague nor cliche.
Bumble Opening Lines, First Message On Bumble
Just because you are shy or list your Instagram on your dating profile, doesn’t mean you should just send a simple hi, or hey. Yes, some guys won’t respond to you but that doesn’t mean you should be lazy. Put in effort, fill out your profile or else don’t expect replies from guys on Bumble
Worst Dating App Message Mistakes Men Make
Many women on dating apps get bombarded with likes and messages to the point where it can be overwhelming, frustrating and sometimes burdensome. Seeing the same repetitive pickup lines and/or low-effort, lazy introductory messages is a great way to go unnoticed.
Nothing is more anti-climatic than seeing someone post something from r/Tinder on Reddit or from a PUA site online. Seeing these messages dozens and possibly hundreds of times each day is exhausting.
For this reason, I have decided to list out the worst introductory messages, first messages, pickup lines and conversation starters on dating apps for people who are focused on meeting people of substance with relationship focused possibilities.
Hi, Hey & What’s Up (Arguably the laziest, most unoriginal message of all).
How Was Your Day, Week, Weekend, Holiday?
How Are You?
What Are You Doing? What Are You Up To?
How’s It Going?
Why Did You Swipe Right On Me?
What Are You Looking For?
(This can be hit or miss, you might get people who will lie, you might come off as being defensive or you might come off as being too abrupt. There are plenty of ways to ask this directly or ask this after a few messages have been exchanged and you like the person but asking right off the bat can come off as transactional).
How Long Have You Been On This App?
You Have Beautiful Eyes / Face.
(Insert Snapchat, Instagram, WhatsApp info)
(Insert hand wave emoji)
Commenting on or asking a question about the most obvious thing on a profile that everyone else is asking about.
Many of these lines are mere salutations. Others are so vague they can appear lazy. Others suggest or imply a sense of familiarity which is premature. Matching is the first step towards mutual attraction, but it is not a definite indicator.
Rather than ask open-ended questions, use defensive language, or begin a conversation without using the person’s name, take a pause review the profile and make a connection, provide a counterpoint, add context to your profile, take a guess at the context of their photos. Take a chance, be vulnerable.
Coming up with good intro lines are only half of the equation, if your profile lacks conversation starters, depth or interesting anecdotes, don’t expect opening lines to bail you out. If someone unmatches you immediately after a first message, assume you are not creative enough or your profile needs help.
If you do get a response using one of these lines, be prepared for the person to match your lack on enthusiasm, effort and creativity. I personally would ignore lazy and low-effort people and recommend clients not giving into or making excuses for such people. It’s not ghosting if you unmatch after you receive a bad opening line.
Do you really want to waste your time on someone that is susceptible to such lazy efforts and cliche pickup lines?
What Is A Good Intro For A Dating Site?
Lines that show you read the profile are best. If there is nothing in user’s profile, bio, why are you wasting time on it? If you can’t afford to be picky, improve your profile and photos so you can be more selective.
Personalized Online Dating Profile Critique
Strategy (App Choice + Timing + First Messages), Photo Critique, Bios + Prompts + Photo Captions, Wardrobe Feedback, Body Language, Smiles & More
Additional Reading: Dating App First Message, Opener Tips, Examples
Why Hi, Hey & What’s Up Are The Worst Lines To Use On Dating Apps
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a dating consultant & professional photographer based in San Francisco, servicing clients in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago and beyond as featured in the NYTimes, SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle.
In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice, date planning, screening profiles, ID'ing red flags, offline techniques for meeting people organically, naturally.
Bad Pickup Lines, Worst Tinder Messages, Cringe Pick-Up Lines, Worst Pickup Lines Reddit, Boring Messages, Lazy First Messages, Lame Openers, Cliche Opening Lines, Low Effort Messages, Unoriginal Messages, Bad Hinge Openers, Bad Bumble First Messages, Cringe-worthy Lines On Tinder, Terrible Tinder Lines, Bad Tinder Openers, Bad Bumble Messages, Worst First Messages On Bumble, Bad Hinge Opening Lines, What Not To Write On Dating Apps, Worst Dating App Messages, Dating App Convos, Bad Online Dating Messages, Bad First Messages, Online Dating Message Response Time, Online Dating Messaging Etiquette, Why Do Girls Not Like Me, Why Do Women Not Like Me, Why Do Men Not Like Me, Why Do Guys Not Like Me, Worst Hinge Opening Lines, Bad Bumble Openers, Worst Tinder Pickup Lines, Cringe Tinder Pickup Lines, Offensive Pickup Lines, Terrible Tinder Pickup Lines, Awful Pickup Lines, Online Dating Tips For Women, Online Dating Tips For Men, Dating App Tips For Women, Dating App Tips For Guys, Online Dating Advice For Women, Online Dating Advice For Men, Dating App Conversation Starters, Online Dating Introductory Lines, Dating App Opening Lines, What Not To Say On Dating Apps, Bad Conversation Starters, Bad Tinder Pickup Lines, Bad Bumble Opening Lines, Worst Things To Say On Bumble, Bad Pick Up Line, Worst Pick Up Lines Tinder, Terrible Pick Up Lines, Offensive Pick Up Lines, Weird Questions To Ask, Opening Message Online Dating, Opening Lines For Online Dating, Dating App Openers, Worst Tinder Lines, Hey How Are You, Tinder Messaging Tips, Bumble Messaging Tips, Hinge Messaging Tips, Tinder Opening Lines, Tinder Pick Up Lines, Tinder Lines That Work Every Time, Best Pick Up Lines For Guys On Tinder, Worst Opening Lines Tinder, Awful Pick Up Lines,Overused Tinder Lines, Dirty Chat Up Lines, Dark Pick Up Lines, NYE Pick Up Lines, New Years Pick Up Lines, Cantada De Ano Nuevo, First Message To A Girl, Online Dating First Message, What To Say To A Match, What To Say To A Guy On Bumble, What To Say To A Girl On Tinder, What To Say To A Girl On Hinge, What To Say On Dating Site, Best Way To Start A Conversation On Tinder, Best Way To Start Hinge Conversation, Best Way To Message A Guy On Bumble, How To Talk To Girls On Tinder, How To Talk To Guys On Bumble, How To Talk To GIrls On Hinge, How Do You Start A Conversation WIth A Girl Over Text, What Can I Say To A Girl To Start A Conversation, Generic Opening Lines Bumble, Worst Opening LInes On Bumble, Bad Opening Lines Hinge, Cringy Opening Lines Tinder, Lame Opening Lines Dating Apps, What Should Be The First Message On A Dating App,