Casual Openers, Bios, First Message Ideas, Conversation Starters, Casual Introductions, Questions for Females. How To Get More Responses from Guys on Bumble
Bumble (along with Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge) is one of the most recommended dating apps I suggest clients use. It’s a widely popular among guys and girls in the 25-45 year old range and effective for ages north of that in larger cities like NYC, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago and Boston and Seattle. It’s a little different from most apps in the way they position themselves as putting women first. It requires more effort and more upfront strategizing than other dating apps.
As an online dating photographer and consultant, I have worked with many males and females in San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, NYC, Seattle and across the country to analyze their dating efforts to see where they can improve (higher quality matches, screening red flags, improving conversation flow and understanding what your bio, captions and photos signal to men).
Below are some ways women can learn how to improve their experience through opening lines on the app.
How Bumble Is Different, Women First Approach
Bumble differentiates themselves in a couple of unique ways. First it verifies users by requiring a real-time photo selfie that is then compared to profile photos. The idea here is to reduce catfishing.
It requires a double opt-in (mutual likes) in order for matches to appear and users to send a message unlike other apps that allow anyone (and everyone) to messages folks which can be exhausting. You control your matches with your like frequency.
Bumble (and this is the big one) forces women to send the first message to men in order for a conversation to get started. The requirement for women to send the first message is a unique approach and the idea behind it is to give women control of whom they wish to communicate with.
For ages, women have complained of unwanted messages and although that can still happen on Bumble, at least women can control who contacts them.
For additional tips on all things Bumble including prompts and photos, check out my other Bumble blog posts here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-apps/bumble/
24-Hour Countdown Clock To Send First Messages
There is a 24-hour countdown after you match to send a message to a guy before the match expires. Of course, you can extend the window if you pay for the service or the expiring match pays for the option. Bumble is a popular app and the most popular guys on the app have their pick of the women so don’t assume a guy will pay for extends.
Introductory Message Ideas and Examples
There are no character minimums for introductory messages and some girls have been known to start messages with a period ( . ), ‘hi’, ‘hey’. Some guys on dating apps are happy to get any messages but if you are targeting guys who are more sought after, you might have to try harder than that if you want to stick out.
The most common and bare minimum ways to start a message is to 1) use the guy’s name and 2) either acknowledge the match or say hi – “Hi David, glad we matched” or “Hey Michael!” A little more effort is suggested like “Hi Alex, what are you dressing up for today for Halloween”. This shows you are not copying/pasting a generic intro and secondly acknowledge current events or surroundings.
I suggest even going further than that and starting a conversation by referencing a photo or something in the bio. Something simple like asking about a location of a photo, mentioning that you are going to or just came back from the same place or asking for tips about a place are all effective ways to get the conversation going.
Guys (like girls) like attention, effort and enthusiasm. There is nothing more anti-climatic about a boring introductory message. Similarly, if a guy is halfway good-looking, he is bound to have a good amount of interest from other women who put in more effort.
GUYS LIKE TO HELP OUT AND GIVE ADVICE!!!
There is no need to pour your heart out and risk being vulnerable but girls should try to step outside their comfort zone and make the first move to show intentions. Being timid or extremely shy might signal that you are not likely one to open up, chat or eventually meet up in person if all goes well.
Sometime guys’ photos and bios are vague, skim and hard to analyze. In these cases you can either skip over the guy and focus on profiles and users who do put more effort and creativity (which I suggest). Some women will focus on looks, appearance, lifestyle and accomplishments and gloss over red flags like this.
With that in mind, some men are likely to be more lazy given that women have to reach out to them. It is important to read a guy’s efforts (response time, messages quality, how often he initiates messages, specificity of messages to you, enthusiasm and more).
Why Hi, Hey, What’s Up Are Bad, Lazy Opening Lines: https://eddie-hernandez.com/why-hi-hey-whats-up-will-get-you-nowhere-with-online-dating/
Things Women Should Keep In Mind
Men like receiving compliments just as much as women do. An introductory message should be customized, specific and shows some effort. Yes, I realize men have been known to be lazy when it comes to introductory messages on Tinder and other dating apps but Bumble is different. You are not just competing with time, you are competing with other ladies.
Additionally, low-effort or lazy messages could convey you are a possible bot, spammer using simple canned lines scam men.
Why You Should Not Ignore Your Dating Bio
You might think a great introductory message and good photos are enough to do well on Bumble but you should realize that empty bios and profile fields can hurt your chances for success.
Often times women (for good reason) will limit information provided on their profile for safety purposes but this can be taken as signs of insecurity or not being committed to putting oneself out there and genuinely wanting to meet someone.
It’s ok to change your name from Kate to Katie, put generic title vs actual job title, state your industry vs your company name but leaving fields empty or not including relevant information about yourself also limits the amount of information a guy has to draw from to respond or initiate conversation with you.
Instagram and Bumble
A recent trend on Bumble is for women to add their Instagram handle to their Bumble profiles. This tactic is used by women as a way to circumvent having to send the first message to guys on Bumble. Even if a guy has your IG handle, that doesn’t mean he can necessarily see your Instagram photos.
Your Instagram privacy settings will dictate who can see your photos on Instagram. If your account is set to private, the guy has to request to follow you before he can message you. The downside to this is that some guys will see you as vain and narcissistic and displaying your IG account to get Instagram followers (this is especially true if your profile is public).
More on Conversation Starters: https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-app-conversation-starters/
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a professional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/
Dating Profile Critique
For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for an online dating profile critique you can read more about my services here.
For other helpful online dating tips check out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/
Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions (Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/
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