Casual Openers, Bios, First Message Ideas, Conversation Starters, Casual Introductions, Questions for Females. How To Get More Responses from Guys on Bumble
Bumble (along with Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge) is one of the most recommended dating apps I suggest clients use. It’s a widely popular among guys and girls in the 25-45 year old range and effective for ages north of that in larger cities like NYC, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago and Boston and Seattle.
Bumble is a little different from most apps in the way they position themselves as putting women first. It requires more effort and more upfront strategizing than other dating apps.
As an online dating photographer and consultant, I have worked with many males and females in San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, NYC, Seattle and across the country to analyze their dating efforts to see where they can improve (higher quality matches, screening red flags, improving conversation flow and understanding what your bio, captions and photos signal to men).
Bumble matches mean absolutely nothing. Some guys are known to swipe right on every profile as an efficient strategy as to not waste time reviewing profiles that may never acknowledge them or send them a message.
It’s not uncommon for guys to rack up likes, priortize women that they are most attracted to and/or exert some meaningful effort and reply to those profiles first. Yes, this is bad etiquette but a number of guys will reference not receiving messages on Tinder to matches as justification to their actions on Bumble.
Don’t assume a match means a guy is interested in you.
Low effort and lazy introductory lines and mean all the difference between a guy ignoring you and a guy replying enthusiastically to your message. Below are some ways women can learn how to improve their experience through opening lines on the Bumble dating app.
How Bumble Is Different, Women First Approach
Bumble differentiates themselves in a couple of unique ways. First it verifies users by requiring a real-time photo selfie that is then compared to profile photos. The idea here is to reduce catfishing.
It requires a double opt-in (mutual likes) in order for matches to appear and users to send a message unlike other apps that allow anyone (and everyone) to messages folks which can be exhausting. You control your matches with your like frequency.
Bumble (and this is the big one) forces women to send the first message to men in order for a conversation to get started. The requirement for women to send the first message is a unique approach and the idea behind it is to give women control of whom they wish to communicate with.
For ages, women have complained of unwanted messages and although that can still happen on Bumble, at least women can control who contacts them.
For additional tips on all things Bumble including prompts and photos, check out my other Bumble blog posts here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-apps/bumble/
24-Hour Countdown Clock To Send First Messages
There is a 24-hour countdown after you match to send a message to a guy before the match expires. Of course, you can extend the window if you pay for the service or the expiring match pays for the option. Bumble is a popular app and the most popular guys on the app have their pick of the women so don’t assume a guy will pay for extends.
Introductory Message Ideas and Examples
There are no character minimums for introductory messages and some girls have been known to start messages with a period ( . ), ‘hi’, ‘hey’. Some guys on dating apps are happy to get any messages but if you are targeting guys who are more sought after, you might have to try harder than that if you want to stick out. Even hi, how are you is super lame. Bumble states that messages that using the person’s first name increases response rate by 60%!
The most common and bare minimum ways to start a message is to 1) use the guy’s name and 2) either acknowledge the match or say hi – “Hi David, glad we matched” or “Hey Michael!” A little more effort is suggested like “Hi Alex, what are you dressing up for today for Halloween”. This shows you are not copying/pasting a generic intro and secondly acknowledge current events or surroundings.
I suggest even going further than that and starting a conversation by referencing a photo or something in the bio. Something simple like asking about a location of a photo, mentioning that you are going to or just came back from the same place or asking for tips about a place are all effective ways to get the conversation going.
Low Effort, Boring Opening Lines
Guys (like girls) like attention, effort and enthusiasm. There is nothing more anti-climatic about a boring introductory message. Similarly, if a guy is halfway good-looking, he is bound to have a good amount of interest from other women who put in more effort. Low energy, cliche first messages will only return low effort, lazy replies (at best). Set the tone early. If he doesn’t match it, unmatch and move on.
Why Are You On Bumble is an ok message to send after a few messages and back and forths but as an introductory line, it’s a poor choice of words. You can figure this out if you know how to ready people and read between the lines. Starting off the conversation like this shows inability to trust, give someone the benefit of the doubt or trying to rush through dating and jump into a relationship or marriage.
Witty Banter, Examples, Tips, How-To…
Spend enough time on Hinge or Bumble and you will see countless people who mention witty banter in their bio. The thing is, most women don’t know how or are unwilling to initiate it. The first intro message sets the tone and vibe you give off so if you come off as a plain jane or more serious, guys will usually mirror that or something close to that.
There are subtle ways to kick off witty banter without seeming too forward, vulnerable nor
GUYS LIKE TO HELP OUT AND GIVE ADVICE!!!
There is no need to pour your heart out and risk being vulnerable but girls should try to step outside their comfort zone and make the first move to show intentions. Being timid or extremely shy might signal that you are not likely one to open up, chat or eventually meet up in person if all goes well.
Sometime guys’ photos and bios are vague, skim and hard to analyze. In these cases you can either skip over the guy and focus on profiles and users who do put more effort and creativity (which I suggest). Some women will focus on looks, appearance, lifestyle and accomplishments and gloss over red flags like this.
With that in mind, some men are likely to be more lazy given that women have to reach out to them. It is important to read a guy’s efforts (response time, messages quality, how often he initiates messages, specificity of messages to you, enthusiasm and more).
Why Hi, Hey, What’s Up Are Bad, Lazy Opening Lines: https://eddie-hernandez.com/why-hi-hey-whats-up-will-get-you-nowhere-with-online-dating/
Things Women Should Keep In Mind
Men like receiving compliments just as much as women do. An introductory message should be customized, specific and shows some effort. Yes, I realize men have been known to be lazy when it comes to introductory messages on Tinder and other dating apps but Bumble is different. You are not just competing with time, you are competing with other ladies.
Additionally, low-effort or lazy messages could convey you are a possible bot, spammer using simple canned lines scam men.
Why You Should Not Ignore Your Dating Bio
You might think a great introductory message and good photos are enough to do well on Bumble but you should realize that empty bios and profile fields can hurt your chances for success. Bumble states that completing the about me section increases match rate on the app.
Often times women (for good reason) will limit information provided on their profile for safety purposes but this can be taken as signs of insecurity or not being committed to putting oneself out there and genuinely wanting to meet someone.
It’s ok to change your name from Kate to Katie, put generic title vs actual job title, state your industry vs your company name but leaving fields empty or not including relevant information about yourself also limits the amount of information a guy has to draw from to respond or initiate conversation with you.
With that said, having a negative bio can turn off most guys. No hook-ups, swipe left if etc. is not only cliche buts suggest distrust right off the bat and an inability to give someone the benefit of the doubt.
Bumble Profile Prompt Tips
There is no great sign of laziness than incomplete or lazy profile prompts. Trying to sound too cute and come off as cliche, basic (wine, brunch, travel sound familiar). Use specifics, details and anecdotes. Add feelings, emotions, opinions. The biggest red flag on dating apps is a generic profile. There are way too many interesting, attractive women on dating apps to focus on that don’t sound like every other girl.
Guys extrapolate basic profiles for boring girls. Working in tech, friends & family, wine, brunch, travel are sprinkled on too many profiles these days. It’s not enough to be attractive or educated – you need to be interesting, original, fun, self-deprecating in order to separate yourself from the crowds.
Laundry lists are pathetic. Adjectives are empty and unsubstantiated. Friends are biased. Inspirational quotes, 4 letter personality traits, love languages, Jim/Pam references, tacos make guys want to vomit. Be creative, put some effort into your prompt choices, answers and bios. Doing so not only shows your personality but makes it more likely a guy will reply to your messages if he knows where to start. Meet him halfway, provide an opening but don’t make it too easy for him.
Instagram and Bumble
A recent trend on Bumble is for women to add their Instagram handle to their Bumble profiles. This tactic is used by women as a way to circumvent having to send the first message to guys on Bumble. Even if a guy has your IG handle, that doesn’t mean he can necessarily see your Instagram photos.
Your Instagram privacy settings will dictate who can see your photos on Instagram. If your account is set to private, the guy has to request to follow you before he can message you. The downside to this is that some guys will see you as vain and narcissistic and displaying your IG account to get Instagram followers (this is especially true if your profile is public).
Good Bumble Dating Photos
It’s important not only to have good photos of yourself but have good photos that reveal things about yourself. Using selfies in your home, bathroom or car don’t add value to a profile.
Showing places you like to visit, eat, explore, how you spend your time, things that excite you all reveal things about you, show you are interested in meeting someone and make it easier to reply to initial messages. Trying to strike up a conversation out of the blue is hard, meet people halfway with a thoughtful profile and photos with substance.
One of the golden rules you should follow on dating apps is that you are only as attractive as your worst photo. It’s not uncommon for women to hire portrait photographers for their dating photos but it’s a strategy I highly urge clients not to do. Often times photos are embellished, photoshopped and look nothing like the person.
Guys have fallen for these traps and often just assume if a photo is too stiff, staged or forced that it is likely filtered somehow. Use natural, candid photos that show you up close, in clear light, full body and make sure they are recent (< 2 years old).
No Responses, No Replies From Guys On Bumble
Don’t wait for anyone. Talk to multiple people, plan multiple dates. Don’t make excuses for guys. Dating is about getting to know each other. It’s not trying to figure out if he is the one before you even meet. The purpose of texting and talking is to judge interest, manners, enthusiasm and responsiveness to see if there is enough for a first date. The purpose of date #1 is to see if you enjoy your time with a guy and want to have a date #2 – nothing more.
If a guy stops responding, only responds when you start the conversation, replies after a long time or only replies with a few words, move on. The biggest mistakes I see on Bumble are women who don’t know how to take a hint or make excuses for guys. You should talk to other guys who match your effort, energy, enthusiasm and etiquette. Some guys are narcissistic and try to see which women are the most interested in them vs matching effort in the women they talk to.
All too often, I see women who wait too long, overly invest themselves in someone they have not met or barely know or don’t pay attention to the red flags in front of them. Guys know that some women are a bit clingy and use this to their advantage by delaying messages, looking a bit disinterested and coming off a bit cold sometimes. I hate this approach but guys do it because it works enough times, especially on apps like Bumble where some women don’t like to make a first move.
One thing to note is that some guys are so lazy, narcissistic or jaded that they swipe right on every profile only to focus on those they are most interested in that match them and send the first message. As such, some first messages may not get responses (especially if they are lazy introductory messages). Don’t take this personal – it happens to many women. Ignore those low-effort, lazy, pathetic boys.
If you are attracting the same poor quality matches and dates, take a break and see what your photos signal, analyze your messages you are sending and responding to, review the prompts and questions you chose to answer and see if you are applying too strong a filters on superficial attributes (education, height, physique, career etc.).
Remember, for dating apps like Bumble, it’s not uncommon for attractive guys to get bombarded by matches. You have every right to market yourself as a great catch (in a subtle, humble way) and you should learn not to be overly available and act like you are waiting on every word he says. Be enthusiastic, be aggressive but don’t act like you have already accepted him or given your seal of approval right off the bat. He needs to earn your trust, attention, time etc.
More on Conversation Starters: https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-app-conversation-starters/
How To Keep The Conversation Going On Dating Apps: https://eddie-hernandez.com/how-to-keep-the-conversation-going-on-dating-apps/
How To Write An Effective Bio / About Me On Dating Sites: https://eddie-hernandez.com/how-to-write-an-online-dating-profile/
How To Be Successful With Online Dating: https://eddie-hernandez.com/how-to-be-successful-with-online-dating/
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a professional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/
Dating Profile Critique
For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for an online dating profile critique you can read more about my services here.
For other helpful online dating tips check out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/
Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions (Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/
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