Good Conversation Starters, Open Lines & First Messages To Avoid on Dating Apps Like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel. Funny, Witty Lines To Use Instead.
In the age of online dating where profiles can be made in a matter of seconds with your info from Facebook and people swipe right based on a single image viewed for a matter of seconds, online dating has led to uncanny amount of one word opening lines… Hi, Hey, Hello or if you are lucky two words — What’s up, Hello there etc. No other words in online dating are anti-climatic than these right here. No other words are worst for response rates on dating apps (12% to be exact and that includes and inflated by models and attractive people).
Men have been notorious for this behavior for years and with the rise of Bumble (the anti-Tinder) women have fallen into the same habits that have been condemned for years.
My general rule of thumb is that online dating apps are merely a means of introduction and are still governed by the same old rules chivalry and common decency as offline approaches. This goes true for opening lines.
If you are a man who says hi to a cute girl at the grocery store and says nothing more, that would be awkward. Same goes for online dating sites and apps. So why would you open up a conversation with so few, effortless words?
Sure, this is marginally better than what are you wearing or send nudes but doesn’t mean you will get anywhere. Most girls get bombarded with likes and messages and seeing the same opening lines over and over again makes it hard to separate yourself from the competition.
Short opening lines like this are what I call low effort. Low effort is associated with laziness, indifference.
I am not advocating that people pour out their life story, exude every emotion out there or even try to use a suave pick up line but what I am advocating is to put some more thought and effort into your opening lines. Apps like Bumble exacerbate the issue even more with a 24-hour window for women to messages men forcing them to type something, ANYTHING, before the time winds down — like Cinderella’s countdown to midnight but far less romantic.
Worst Introductory Lines To Avoid Using On Dating Apps
Asking how your morning, day, weekend, week is the next set of most overly used lines ever. It’s not a good line to use in the workplace so why use it on dating apps? Might as well ask how the weather is, what are you eating, what do you do, where do you work or why did you swipe right on me.
Lame questions like this often receive lame answers like great/fine, yours? Often times people ask these questions because there is little to nothing to go by in a bio, others times the people are lazy or lack creativity.
Instead, try to engage with your match, try to learn more about them and build a connection with them. https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-app-conversation-starters/
How To Respond To Hi, Hey, What’s Up
My advice: You don’t. These are lazy, low-effort lines that don’t deserve a response. Most people who will respond are either looking for a hookup, looking for attention, seeing how much control they can exert over you or don’t have much success on dating apps. An initial average response time can be 2-3 days or longer for a reply. After that, reply time on dating apps should be same day or next morning depending on the person’s schedule, communication, etc.
My advice is to focus on those that match your effort, energy, etiquette and responsiveness. If you don’t have the luxury to be that picky, work on your profile, app choice, photos, smiles, wardrobe, posture, captions, prompts and first lines. If that doesn’t work, I recommend answering the introductory message like this.
Example #1: Hi (insert name), just here waiting for my bread to finally rise. How are you?
Example #2: Hello there (insert name), I have no pets in my photo, did you accidentally swipe right on me?
Example #3: Hi (insert name), did you swipe right on me so you can submit my profile photo to Midtown Uniform IG account?
Good Conversation Starters To Use Instead
When in doubt, ask about a photo, mention something in the bio or even the classic Hi, I never asked you, do you like guacamole is a thousand times better than hi, what’s up or hey. Just because apps nudge people to make moves more quickly than they are typically comfortable with does not provide an excuse for such lame, short opening messages.
There is plenty of competition out there and if you don’t come up with something more thoughtful, creative or charming someone else will, and they are a swipe away.
Similarly, men should expect that a woman may or may not be 100% comfortable making the first move. Most women are attracted to Bumble because of the verified accounts, less spam messages etc. but they are not necessarily confident in the first message.
Rather than act underwhelmed or deflated from an intro message, give the women a chance to warm up. If the conversation continues to be short, one-sided then move on. Depending on the app, some lines are more effective than others.
For examples of introductory Bumble messages to send guys: https://eddie-hernandez.com/bumble-first-messages-openers/
Tinder Opening Lines Examples: https://eddie-hernandez.com/tinder-bios-and-opening-lines/
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a professional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/
Dating Profile Critique
For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for an online dating profile critique you can read more about my services here.
For other helpful online dating tips check out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/
Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions (Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/
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