What Is Hinge’s Invited You To Start The Chat? How Does It Work? Hinge’s Invitation To Start A Conversation Feature. Mark Unresponded Messages, Reduce Ghosting
If you have used dating apps long enough, you will notice a large portion of likes or comments rarely turn into matches. Of those limited matches, few turn into conversations. As an online dating photographer and consultant here in San Francisco, many people put all their effort into photos and largely ignore bios, prompts and method of initial contact and communication.
There are a variety of reasons for this inefficiency including: volume of matches, lost interest, further investigation of the profile beyond main photo after matching, better options presented, unflattering Instagram post, got tired of the app or online dating, other person did not initiate conversation, never intended to communicate (bot, spammer, looking for Instagram likes, website traffic, accumulating likes on apps) etc.
Hinge released a feature called ‘Invite to Chat’ whereby people (either gender, not just women) who have received a like or comment notification can then turn around and invite the individual who liked or commented on a photo or prompt to chat. The aim here is to show an intent to engage in conversation without having to use words and to reduce ghosting by the other party. This feature also contains the ability to mark messages as unresponded. These are gentle/ungentle reminders to continue the chat with your match.
Hinge describes the feature as letting users decides who should make the first move. Many would argue that a like or comment on a prompt or photo is a first move while others suggest these are incomplete, ambiguous, low effort signals. It also claims the reason behind the feature is that 23% people “just got busy and forgot” about people in their inbox. I would argue that if you have that many matches or not on the app enough (2-3x a week, 20-30 minutes a day is plenty) then perhaps online dating is not for you.
Liking vs. Messaging On Hinge
In previous posts, I have always encouraged users to never like but rather message people directly for best results. But if you are sent this generic message after you have commented on a photo or prompt / answer already, then take this as a red flag. If you like a person, you should initiate the contact. Waiting for someone is lazy. The Invited You To Chat is the dating app version of the Facebook poke.
More on liking vs messaging here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/why-men-need-to-stop-liking-and-start-messaging/
Hinge Preferred Membership – What Is It?
Hinge Preferred Membership allows users to see who likes them so that one can be more efficient in messaging those that have already indicated an interest of some sort. The fallback here is you are unable to see people who have not liked you yet. Waiting for people can backfire as time is of the essence on dating apps. More on the features here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/preferred-hinge-membership/
What Can You Infer About People Who Use This Generic Prompt?
Inviting someone to chat after a comment is already sent is lazy. People like this are looking to be entertained or use it as a way to analyze someone to see if they can manipulate them and take advantage of them. It can be an early indicator to see how eager and quickly you are willing to jump through hoops for a complete stranger.
Similarly if you send a like and the other person sends this message, it is slightly better but chances are neither party is that interested nor outgoing enough to put themselves out there. If you like someone, comment on a profile or photo, don’t just send a like. Better yet, follow up on the comment with a question or opinion.
What To Do If You Receive This Prompt
On occasion, people may not see your original comment. It’s rare but Hinge is one of the buggiest dating apps out there. If you do get this prompt after sending out the initial comment, merely point out that the conversation has been started or that you commented on a photo or prompt.
If no response or if you receive a lame response, move one. Rarely do people not notice the initial message and a simple reminder/prompt is enough to rekindle a conversation but don’t hold out too much hope. Many folks on dating sites are flakey, lazy and inconsiderate. Focus your time on those that respect your time. You should only focus on those that match your time, effort, enthusiasm and respect otherwise consider this lack of decency as a possible red flag
Whether its men or women, straight, gay or bi, people like it when others show initiative beyond initial interest. It shows confidence and frankly many people on dating apps could benefit from some of this. Too much anonymity, hiding behind old, blurry, dark photos and incomplete bios has made it challenging for people to reveal themselves. This is all the more reason to stand out more easily among a sea of indecisive, insecure and nervous folks.
For additional tips on all things Hinge related, check out my blog posts: https://eddie-hernandez.com/?s=hinge
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a professional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/
Dating Profile Critique
For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for an online dating profile critique you can read more about my services here.
For other helpful online dating tips check out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/
Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions (Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/
Online Dating Safety Tips: https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-safety-tips