What Is Hinge’s Invited You To Start The Chat? How Does It Work? Hinge’s Invitation To Start A Conversation Feature. Mark Unresponded Messages
If you have used dating apps long enough, you will notice a large portion of likes or comments rarely turn into matches. Of those limited matches, few turn into conversations. As an online dating photographer and consultant here in San Francisco, many people put all their effort into photos and largely ignore bios, prompts and method of initial contact and communication.
There are a variety of reasons for this inefficiency including: volume of matches, lost interest, further investigation of the profile beyond main photo after matching, better options presented, unflattering Instagram post, got tired of the app or online dating, other person did not initiate conversation, never intended to communicate (bot, spammer, looking for Instagram likes, website traffic, accumulating likes on apps) etc.
Hinge released a feature called ‘Invite to Chat’ whereby people who have received a like or comment notification can then turn around and invite the individual who liked or commented on a photo or prompt to chat. The aim here is to show an intent to engage in conversation without having to use words. This feature contains the ability to mark messages as unresponded. These are gentle/ungentle reminders to chat.
Liking vs. Messaging
In previous posts, I have always encouraged users to never like but rather message people directly for best results. But if you are sent this generic message after you have commented on a photo or prompt / answer already, then take this as a red flag. If you like a person, you should initiate the contact. Waiting for someone is lazy. The Invited You To Chat is the dating app version of the Facebook poke.
More on liking vs messaging here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/why-men-need-to-stop-liking-and-start-messaging/
Hinge Preferred Membership
Hinge Preferred Membership allows users to see who likes them so that one can be more efficient in messaging those that have already indicated an interest of some sort. The fallback here is you are unable to see people who have not liked you yet. Waiting for people can backfire as time is of the essence on dating apps. More on the features here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/preferred-hinge-membership/
What Can You Infer About People Who Use This Generic Prompt?
Inviting someone to chat after a comment is already sent is lazy. People like this are looking to be entertained or use it as a way to analyze someone to see if they can manipulate them and take advantage of them. It can be an early indicator to see how eager and quickly you are willing to jump through hoops for a complete stranger.
Similarly if you send a like and the other person sends this message, it is slightly better but chances are neither party is that interested nor outgoing enough to put themselves out there. If you like someone, comment on a profile or photo, don’t just send a like. Better yet, follow up on the comment with a question or opinion.
What To Do If You Receive This Prompt
On occasion, people may not see your original comment. It’s rare but Hinge is one of the buggiest dating apps out there. If you do get this prompt after sending out the initial comment, merely point out that the conversation has been started or that you commented on a photo or prompt.
If no response or if you receive a lame response, move one. Rarely do people not notice the initial message and a simple reminder/prompt is enough to rekindle a conversation but don’t hold out too much hope. Many folks on dating sites are flakey, lazy and inconsiderate. Focus your time on those that respect your time.
Whether its men or women, straight, gay or bi, people like it when others show initiative beyond initial interest. It shows confidence and frankly many people on dating apps could benefit from some of this. Too much anonymity, hiding behind old, blurry, dark photos and incomplete bios has made it challenging for people to reveal themselves. This is all the more reason to stand out more easily among a sea of indecisive, insecure and nervous folks.
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a professional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/
Dating Profile Critique
For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for an online dating profile critique you can read more about my services here.
For other helpful online dating tips check out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/
Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions (Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/