Sending Comment vs Like, Hinge Comments, How To Start A Conversation On Hinge With A Girl/Guy, How To Like On Hinge, Hinge First Message, Opening Lines
If you have used dating apps long enough, you will notice a large portion of likes or comments rarely turn into matches on dating apps like Hinge, Bumble and especially Tinder. Matches mean nothing on dating apps, unfortunately. And if you think not getting a message from a match is ghosting, you have a lot to learn.
Of those limited matches, a few lead to conversations (that’s just the harsh reality of dating apps). Even on apps like Hinge there is a lot of confusion around whether to like vs comment along with a like as well as who should message first on Hinge, if you should reply to people you are no longer interested in or met someone else and whether it is ok to ghost on dating apps.
Online dating etiquette is not universally understood. Below are some tips regarding proper Hinge etiquette with respect to first messages, inviting others to start the chat, how to respond to boring first lines like ‘hi’, ‘hey’, ‘how are you’, what to do when someone sends you a request to start the chat on Hinge and some tips for Hinge conversation starters.
Keep on reading to learn about chatting etiquette on Hinge and learn why people who use invited you to start the chat can be narcissists.
Pro-tip: Find out which Hinge prompts get the most replies!
How Do You Like Someone On Hinge, How To Like Someone On Hinge, How To Like People On Hinge, How Do You Like People On Hinge? Best Time To Send Likes On Hinge? How To Like On Hinge
Hinge takes a different route when it comes dating apps. Instead of swiping, you have to tap the heart icon to send a like on Hinge. Heart icons are located on every photo and prompt on a profile. You can select any heart icon on the profile, whether it’s a prompt or photo.
There is no swiping on Hinge, just buttons taps. If you are not interested in the person, tap X. If you close the app, there is no guarantee you will see the last profile again, so be sure to tap accordingly.
In addition to sending a like via tapping the heart, one can send a message along with a like (more on that below). Generally comments increase chances of getting responses (and matches) rather than sending a like alone but if your profile is bad and has something that signals automatic left swipe, it won’t matter what you say.
There are better times that others to send likes on Hinge and it’s not always obvious. In my coaching sessions, I will help you be more strategic and efficient so you don’t drive yourself insane with sending endless likes with no matches to show.
Related read: Hinge Profile Tips For Men, Women (Improving your profile improves odds people will reply to you).
What Is Hinge Invite To Chat? What Is Hinge Your Turn, Hinge Start The Chat, How To Start A Conversation On Hinge, What To Say To A Girl On Hinge, First Message On Hinge
Hinge released a feature called ‘Invite to Chat’ whereby people (either gender, not just women) who have received a like or comment notification can then turn around and invite the individual who liked or commented on a photo or prompt to chat. Anyone is able to send the first message without this feature.
The aim here is to show an intent to engage in conversation without having to use words and to reduce ghosting by the other party. This feature also contains the ability to mark messages as responded. These are gentle/ungentle reminders to continue the chat with your match.
Hinge describes the feature as letting users decide who should make the first move. Many would argue that a like or comment on a prompt or photo is a first move while others suggest these are incomplete, ambiguous, low effort signals (not much better than a hi, hey, what’s up).
It also claims the reason behind the feature is that 23% of people “just got busy and forgot” about people in their inbox.
I would argue that if you have that many matches or not on the app enough (2-3x a week, 20-30 minutes a day is plenty) then perhaps online dating is not for you. With that said, the prompt can disappear if you wait too long, the other person meets someone else or blocks you or gets banned.
Related read: Hinge Voice Notes
How Do You Match On Hinge? How To Match On Hinge, Where Is The Match Button On Hinge, How To Match On Hinge Without Paying
A match occurs when two people mutually like each other on the app. A mutual like will create a match on Hinge. If you like a photo and the other person likes a prompt, that will create a match on Hinge. There is no match button if the other person has not liked you first. If you send the first like, you have to wait for them to match with you first. You do not need to pay to get matches on Hinge.
Related read: How To Get More Matches On Dating Apps
Should You Leave A Comment On Hinge? Hinge Comment vs Like, Sending Comments With Likes On Hinge, Is It Worth Commenting On Hinge? How To Start A Conversation On Hinge With A Girl?
Instead of swiping left or right like on Tinder or Bumble, you have to click the heart button on a photo or answer to a prompt to signal a like. After you do so, you will be given the option to send a comment along with a like which is highly recommended to get more responses.
Related read: First message tips here (for apps like Hinge & Bumble).
There are a variety of reasons for this inefficiency including: volume of matches, lost interest, further investigation of the profile beyond main photo after matching, better options presented, unflattering Instagram post, got tired of the app or online dating or the other person did not initiate conversation.
It could also be that the person never intended to communicate (bot, spammer, looking for Instagram likes, website traffic, accumulating likes on apps) etc.
Yes, it’s true that photos will have the biggest impact on your online dating efforts, but many people look to bios, prompts, captions and opening lines to evaluate effort, intent, sincerity, creativeness and of course ability to engage in witty banter.
Communication skills are key to advance past matching and move on to more involved communication and connections.
Here are some tips to understand first message etiquette on Hinge and get over the initial hump of first messages, no replies and ways to troubleshoot if you have been shadow-banned or if there is a bug in the app and you need to contact customer support on Hinge to take a look at your account.
Related read: Most Common Lies On Dating Apps
Best Hinge Comments, Hinge Comments That Work, Best Hinge Comments For Guys, Hinge Comment Tips, Ideas, Hinge Comment Photo or Prompt, Funny Hinge Comments
The best Hinge comments are those that show you read their profile and aim to make a connection. Even if you use the best Hinge comment possible, it may not make a difference if your profile sucks, you are swiping outside your league, use a line that she has heard too many times or you comment on the same prompt/photo all the other guys are commenting on.
Hinge comments that show some effort, uniqueness and are clearly customized for her tend to do best. If commenting doesn’t work for you, check your own profile, photos and effort first. It could be your values and intentions don’t align, it could be your demographics are statistically less likely to get attention from her, it could be you are too old, young, live far away. It could also be because of your facial expressions, hygiene, grooming, wardrobe or lack of energy.
Related read: How To Describe Yourself On A Dating App
Hinge Messages: Why Do Guys Match And Not Message On Hinge? Why Do Guys Unmatch On Hinge?
Some guys like most or all women’s profiles, regardless if they are interested in them or not. Some do it as an ego boost (how many matches can they achieve) while others only message matches they are most interested in i.e. likely to hookup with or most attractive.
Using the Invite To Chat feature may not be helpful.
Related read: How to Get More Matches On Dating Apps
Who Messages First On Hinge? Should You Like Or Comment on Hinge? How To Open On Hinge – Hinge Conversation Starters, What To Say On Hinge, Hinge Openers, Hinge First Message
Unlike the Bumble dating app, anyone can send the first message. If you just send a like, that is viewed as lazy and low effort. Always send a message or comment with a like on Hinge. If you don’t, someone else will.
Waiting for guys to send the first message is one of the biggest mistakes women make on dating apps – be a driver in your life, don’t be a passenger. If you wait for guys to message you first, you likely will be bombarded by guys who use the volume approach.
A simple note (always use the person’s name) such as a question that shows you looked at their profile vs asking a generic question like what’s up is recommended.
Read more about the importance of commenting vs liking and tips to stand out, what to comment on (photos or prompts). Commenting on a profile prompt or photo can greatly improve your chances for a reply.
Related read: No Responses On Hinge
Hinge Profile Tips!
Great Hinge profiles are more than just witty prompts and good photos. Learn how to make a good Hinge profile, how many prompts to use, what information to put in a profile, whether or not you should photo prompts and photo captions, and if you should link your Instagram account to your profile.
How To Respond To Invited You To Start The Chat, Conversation; Good Hinge Openers, How To Respond To A Girl On Hinge
On occasion, people may not see your original comment. It’s rare but Hinge is one of the buggiest dating apps out there. If you do get this prompt after sending out the initial comment, merely point out that the conversation has been started or that you commented on a photo or prompt.
Some people will acknowledge this oversight, some may reply saying there was no mention (Hinge is pretty buggy so not out of the question).
If no response or if you receive a lame response, move one. Rarely do people not notice the initial message and a simple reminder/prompt is enough to rekindle a conversation but don’t hold out too much hope.
Many folks on dating sites are flaky, lazy and inconsiderate. Focus your time on those that respect your time. You should only focus on those that match your time, effort, enthusiasm and respect otherwise consider this lack of decency as a possible red flag.
Whether its men or women, straight, gay or bi, people like it when others show initiative beyond initial interest. It shows confidence and frankly many people on dating apps could benefit from some of this.
Too much anonymity, hiding behind old, blurry, dark photos and incomplete bios has made it challenging for people to reveal themselves. This is all the more reason to stand out more easily among a sea of indecisive, insecure and nervous folks.
Read about the situations where it’s ok to ghost others here.
What Can You Infer About People Who Use This Generic Prompt?
Inviting someone to chat after a comment is already sent is lazy. People like this are looking to be entertained or use it as a way to analyze someone to see if they can manipulate them and take advantage of them.
It can be an early indicator to see how eager and quickly you are willing to jump through hoops for a complete stranger.
Similarly, if you send a like and the other person sends this message, it is slightly better but chances are neither party is that interested nor outgoing enough to put themselves out there. If you like someone, comment on a profile or photo, don’t just send a like. Better yet, follow up on the comment with a question or opinion.
Pro-tip: Reduce your chance of getting unmatched or ghosted by avoiding these Hinge Tinder bingo offenses.
Online Dating Advice For Women
Screening Profiles, Red Flags, Why Don't Guys Reply, Low-Effort Messages, Overwhelmed With Matches, Signs He's Not Interested, What Your Dating Photos Signal, Coffee Dates As First Dates? Lying About Age, Putting 'No Hook-ups' In Your Profile & More
Hinge Conversation Tips, Advice: Should You Use Hinge Invited You To Start The Chat?
If you have to ask someone to start talking to you, you are barking up the wrong tree. You shouldn’t have to ask someone to show interest in you or exert effort.
People can get anxious because they are blinded by infatuation, don’t have many options (likes or matches) or are using a volume approach with dating apps.
If you are interested in someone, make the first move. Take control of your love life. If you are a passenger in your own life, things will not go the way you hoped for or planned. However, you shouldn’t be the one to continually message first – don’t text him. Make sure the other person matches your energy, interest and enthusiasm.
There is a fine line between taking the lead here and there and being too clingy, making excuses for others and trying to see if he or she is interested in you.
Some guys and girls try too hard to make something out of nothing on dating apps. One of the biggest reasons is lack of options. Rather than trying to convince someone you are not really interested in to go out with you, focus on yourself and what you can influence and control.
Work on your appearance, smiles, style, hobbies, interests and conversation skills. Improve yourself and make yourself more interesting and more attractive, so you can afford to be more picky.
How To Respond To A Like On Hinge? Do You Respond To Likes Without Comments? Hinge Etiquette
Likes alone are meaningless. If you like someone, add a note to the like. I generally advise people not to respond to a simple like alone. It can be viewed as lazy or can be viewed as something done by someone who is shy.
Focus on those that put forth a little more effort and creativity. If you do like someone, don’t just send a like, send a note as well. Reference their profile, photos or captions. Don’t use a boring intro like how are you or what are you doing.
Hinge Opening Lines, First Messages On Hinge, What To Say On Hinge, Hinge Conversation Starters
It’s best to comment on someone’s photos, caption, prompts or bio. Show that you read the person’s profile. Avoid commenting on the easiest, first or most popular photo, answer to prompt (they will likely have heard your comment many times before).
Be unique, be creative, show that your comment is specific to them and not something generic, boring or even lazy.
How Do You Start A Conversation With A Guy On Hinge, Hinge Comment Tips
Look at his profile, prompts and photos. Look at details like logos on shirts, items on his plate, background locations, facial expressions or random observations.
Specific, pointed comments, opinions and even light jabs are a great way to show you reviewed his profile rather than starting things off with generic, lazy openings like hi, hey, how are you, how is your quarantine.
Your Turn – Red Buttons vs. Blue Buttons
Red buttons point out incoming likes, new matches and conversations where it is your turn to respond by summing these up as a total.
Blue buttons on the matches tab sum up conversations where it is your turn to respond. If you are noticing if you are often getting a red button even after sending a message, you may want to contact Hinge to take a look at your account (info below).
Hinge Date From Home – Ready For A Video Or Phone Call?
After matching, Hinge users will see a “Date from Home” menu pop-up appear at the bottom of each conversation with their matches. This prompt will ask if they’re ready for a video chat or phone call with their match. This prompt came from a survey of users suggesting they would be open to a digital date.
More on video dates here.
Hinge Messages: Online Dating Etiquette, Hidden Chats, Matches – Hinge Rules, Hinge Chat Disappeared
If you are no longer interested in speaking with someone, you can unmatch or slide the conversation left and select hide to hide the conversation for a later time.
Typically, the more you engage with someone, the more polite thing to do is to state that you are no longer interested in the person. Any match with no activity in 14 days is automatically hidden.
Can You See Who You Commented On Hinge?
Yes, but only after you matched (the other person like you as well).
Hinge Make It Their Turn: How Do You Chat On Hinge
By not replying after matching, you invite a person who like you to send the next message even if they sent a message first. This is lazy and pathetic.
How To Get More Replies On Hinge, No Replies On Hinge, No Responses On Hinge, Hinge Match But No Message, Hinge Match But No Reply
Maybe you are not their type, maybe you did not send a good enough comment that is unique and hasn’t been seen already. Lots of people get matches that don’t message them. Some people swipe right on profiles without even looking at them (quicker than analyzing profiles).
Perhaps your timing was off. Perhaps the other person is bot/spammer/fake account. Possibly the person is not interested in you (even if you match – matches mean nothing) or you don’t have enough interesting photos or hobbies/interests for the person to start a conversation with you.
Add more conversation starters to your profile i.e. backgrounds and activities in photos, fill out your profile.
Related read: Find out which prompts get the most responses on Hinge!
Related read: Why Am I Getting Matches But No Messages On Dating Apps
Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women
Help w/ swiping etiquette, timing, app choice, first messages, filters, deal-breakers, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags/liars, date planning, cutting-off time-wasters and using dating apps more effectively & efficiently.
As seen in the NYT, Bumble & More.
Unmatch On Hinge: Hinge Match Disappeared, Hinge Profile Disappeared
Bug On Hinge, Problems With Hinge Dating App – Shadowbanned On Hinge; Contact Hinge Support
Hinge is a notoriously buggy app. Every so often on Reddit and public forums, you will see people mention their messages never were sent or they disappeared.
While this is possible, it’s also possible users are being shown less to others and that too much swiping, messaging is hurting their chances whether it’s a bandwidth issue or if you believe the internet, shadow-banning on Hinge.
It doesn’t hurt to see if there is a bug on Hinge by emailing customer service with examples, account info, device type and screenshots.
Hinge Voice Notes
Hinge recently released voice notes within messaging for those that hate messaging. I think they should be avoided at all costs (rather lazy, impersonal). It’s like getting voice messages in whatsapp and having to sit through them.
Related read: Hinge Voice Notes
How To Like Messages On Hinge
In order to like a message on Hinge, double-tap the message blurb in the conversation tab.
Hinge First Message: Saying Hi, Hey, What’s Up On Hinge: Hinge Icebreakers, Things To Talk About On Hinge
Learn why saying hi, hey on Hinge as a first message is rather pathetic and won’t get you anywhere on dating apps. Sometimes you can screen for such folks when looking for red flags in a profile. It’s not a perfect solution but it’s a good way to be more efficient on dating apps.
How To Respond To Hi On Hinge, How To Reply To Hey On Hinge, How To Respond On Hinge, Sending Comments On Hinge
My advice, you don’t. It’s low effort, lazy and pathetic. If you can’t afford to be picky, optimize your profile, so you can be more selective.
Hinge Invited You To Start The Chat Disappeared, Gone, Missing; Hinge Green Start Chat
Instead of “Invite To Start The Chat”, you should see a green badge with “Start Chat” in the same place as “Your Turn”.
Can You Send Pictures On Hinge?
Not directly, but you can through a 3rd party hosting service.
Why Hinge Matches Don’t Respond
You didn’t send a message, the message you sent is bad, you took too long to message, or the person is no longer interested.
How To Start A Conversation With A Guy, Girl On Hinge, How To Start A Chat On Hinge, Hinge Chat Tips, Hinge Chat Openers, Conversation Starters Hinge, Good First Hinge Message
Dating Profile Critique, Review Services
App Choice, Photo Order, Photo Critique, Bios + Prompts + Photo Captions, Wardrobe Feedback, Grooming Suggestions, Clothing & Hairstyle Recommendations, Body Language, Smiles, Facial Expressions, Hobbies, Interests, Lifestyle Choices, Etiquette & More For Men & Women.
-As seen in the NYT, WSJ, AskMen, Women's Health, Bumble, SFGate, ABC7News-
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He has insight into algorithms as well as a keen understanding of dating cultures across locations, demographics, and orientations.
He helps with profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & where to meet singles. Whether you are a POC, short guy, introvert, engineer, or just struggling with dating, he can help you be efficient & strategic.
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