How to Message a Guy on Bumble, Cute First Messages On Bumble, Funny Bumble Conversation Starters, Opening Lines, Questions, Best Bumble Openers To Use On Guys
Online dating photo choices, compatibility via bio completion and content, photo captions, and swiping strategy are all important, but after all those initial hurdles, it all comes down to that first line, a conversation starter. A bad first line, a generic first message like hi, hey, how are you can result in someone unmatching instantly.
Sure, photos are the biggest factor in whether you get likes and matches on dating apps, but most people fail in converting matches into good conversations and conversations into dates. First lines are one of the measures guys look to understand effort, uniqueness, and interest.
Before you start focusing on your Bumble intros and opening lines, make sure your profile is optimized, otherwise, people will have difficulty of finding something to say.
Below are some Bumble intros and conversation starter tips to help you convert matches into conversations and how to avoid being basic, boring and unoriginal.
Related read: How to keep the conversation going on dating apps.
How is Bumble Different? How Does Bumble Work? How To Message on Bumble, Do Women Have To Message First On Bumble? Who Messages First On Bumble? How Does Bumble Chat Work?
Bumble is unique in that it requires women to make the first move (also known as ‘First Move Privilege’) and message men in order for conversations to start after a match is made (a match is made by mutual blind likes).
Bumble with its women first approach has caused some anxiety and uncertainty for many women who consider themselves old-fashion and prefer men to make the first move and/or flounder when it comes to think of something witty or funny to say.
To add to the anxiety of coming up with something unique and creative to say, Bumble has a 24-hour countdown clock before matches expire unless the woman messages then guy or either party extends the window to provide a little extra time to figure out what to say.
On top of all this, gender ratios on Bumble tend to be a little more balanced than say Hinge and definitely Tinder. Some guys hate not having control over messaging a woman first after matching.
Other guys dislike the limits Bumble imposes on the types of allowable photos (i.e. no guns and tasteless bathroom selfies).
Related read: Bumble vs Hinge vs Tinder
Related read: Bumble Profile Tips For Men, Women
Can Men Message First On Bumble? Can Guys Message First On Bumble? Do Girls Have To Message First On Bumble? Why Do I Have To Message First On Bumble?
Only women can message first, unless it’s men seeking men, then any guy can message first. Men can also message women if they post their IG on their profile. If you don’t like that, you can use Tinder. Good luck!
Related read: Best Bumble Profile Prompts
Related read: Bumble Compliments – Can guys message first on Bumble
Is It Desperate To Like First, Message First On A Dating App As A Woman? Online Dating First Message Tips
Absolutely not. It’s flattering for men. Sure, not everyone will feel the same way about you, but that is what dating is all about.
The ability to have thick skin, self-awareness and take risks is needed to have success. The worst thing you can do is put your IG handle on your profile to avoid sending first messages (see worst Bumble bios here).
Related read: How To Respond To Hey On Bumble
First Impressions On Dating Apps: How To Make A Good First Impression On Bumble, How To Stand Out On Bumble
When all you have to judge a person is their photos, bio, a few prompts and whatever items they filled out in their bio, the first message can make or break you (more so for men but still quite possible for women on Bumble).
For the longest time women on apps like Tinder complained that men were crude, lazy, too forward/sexual or lacked manners when initiating conversation.
Cliche and copy and paste pickup lines from Reddit and PUA (pick-up artist) sites led to a barrage of low-effort messages from men.
Couple with the volume approach guys use (like as many women as possible to yield the most matches possible as to give oneself the more possible opportunities to message and ideally meet in person).
Now that the tables have turned, guys are getting a taste of their own medicine. Maybe not as forward or crude remarks but definitely on the lazy, low-effort spectrum of boring messages. Hi, hey, what’s up, heyy, or even “.” or “…” are not unheard of.
Short, generic openers like this are the quickest and easiest way to turn away a guy. Even if a guy sticks around and replies, he may not take you seriously and may mirror your energy and effort with a casual demeanor.
Women are not just competing for a guy, they are competing against other women. Competing on time, effort, appearance, creativity and energy. If you want to improve your chances for landing the guy you are attracted to, you have to do better than hi, hey. what’s up.
Related read: New user boosts & algorithms
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Bumble Statistics – Bumble Bio, About Me Section: Bumble Bio Tips
What I mean by this is that it is easier to accept rejection if you don’t make a sincere effort – you can play it off more easily than if you poured your heart and soul into something (tactfully yet playfully) by answering all the questions, filling out the bio, and asking genuine questions.
No one likes being rejected and it is natural to be scared about someone turning you down because it feels like an attack on your personally vs. an attack on superficial or partial glimpse of yourself. When it comes to love and dating apps, you have to be aggressive and go for what you want.
Related read: Worst Bumble Bios To Avoid.
Deal-Breakers, Nice-To-Haves, Filters, Preferences & Red Flags On Bumble
Before thinking about what to write your match, take a pause and review the profile in more detail. Does the guy’s energy, effort, sincerity, maturity, lifestyle match with what you seek? Are you ignoring red flags because of looks, height, pedigree, lifestyle?
Conversely, are you being too picky about what you seek and are the deal-breakers you created in your mind really deal-breakers or nice to haves? Every item on a list of deal-breakers is another hurdle in your quest for love.
A great article entitled Women Need To Date Carpenters Like Men Date Yoga Instructors, does a great job of showing how men cast a wide open net for women (age, education, profession etc.) while women tend to be more selective (height, looks, education, lifestyle, ethnicity).
Additionally, men are more likely to contact more women, and more women outside their league than they would in person, offline. Sometimes it feels like you can be searching to fit a mold rather than taking the time to see if someone matches with you or if you could possibly develop feelings over time.
The common pitfall men and women both have in common is approaching dating like a job interview. Too much quantifying worthiness, screening and assumptions vs. exploration, experimentation and patience.
Only you can know what is a deal-breaker, what you can compromise on and what you are willing to relinquish in terms of waiting for perfect storybook romances.
Dating takes time, trial and error and unfortunately social media and one off cases from friends who managed to meet their partner in a matter of days or weeks and/or get engaged within a year puts too much burden to meet the perfect person.
The perfect person cannot be figured out in a profile, in a couple messages but over time, through difficult situations and through acts and prioritization.
How To Start A Conversation On Bumble? How To Start A Conversation With A Guy, What To Message On Bumble, How Do You Send Messages On Bumble? How Do I Contact Someone On Bumble?
After two people mutually like each other, both users are notified. By design, women have to message first for a conversation to start or else the match will expire in 24 hours.
Guys cannot send the first message on Bumble but can pay to extend the 24 hour window in which a woman has to send the first message.
Look at his profile, ask a question, comment on a photo or prompt. Show that you read his profile. Using boring lines like hi, hey are worthless.
Bumble Chat: Why Does Bumble Make Me Message First, Does Bumble Make Girls Message First. How To Chat On Bumble Without Paying
That is their business model. If you don’t like it, there is always apps like Tinder. If you want to send a message on Bumble as a woman, get a match first. If you are a guy, wait for the woman to message you.
Bumble First Messages, Opening Lines & Conversation Starters For Bumble, Bumble Openers, Bumble Chat Tips, Bumble Topic Starters, Best Bumble Opening Lines
Coming up with an opening line or cute first message on Bumble is not rocket science. You don’t need to balance effort, creativity and enthusiasm.
Some guys are naturally awkward or lack good communication skills so anything you can do to cautiously stroke an ego, make a slight joke about or convey something interesting will go a long way. Matching energy, timeliness and quality of messages is key.
Referencing an answer to a prompt or photo is usually the best way to go. Asking someone what they are looking for or asking why did you swipe right on me are the worst things you can say to kick off a conversation.
If a guy is holding a fish in his photo and for some reason that doesn’t bother you, you could poke fun about how small the fish i.e. “looks like we’ll be eating lots of vegetables and takeout if you plan on relying on your fishing skills to provide meals”.
If a guy has a travel photo up, you could ask when did you go to X? Did you happen to stop by Y during your time there? I think Z is the best place for espresso martinis – can’t wait to go back this winter.
The comments express similar interests, can attempt to get an idea of how old his photos are, provide an outlet for him to respond with questions, rebuttal or confirmation.
These types of opening lines are still a little playful, superficial but at least they are relevant and show you read his profile.
Music is a safe bet for most people since many people sync their Spotify accounts. If they like a local band, ask them if they went to their recent show or have seen them live.
You can also, gently critique their random taste in music. Asking them what’s the best band you never heard of or best venue they have been to.
Best Bumble Openers To Use On Guys, What Questions Should I Ask A Guy On Bumble – Online Dating First Message To A Guy Examples, Bumble First Message Ideas
If a guy has a certain type of song or playlist in his feed, you can ask about attending concerts, types of music venues he/she has checked out or if you know nothing about the band, style of music, ask for advice.
Guys love giving advice – it makes them feel wanted, or at least appreciated or relevant. Some guys have a hard time expressing feeling or emotion so if that is the case, asking them about something they are animated about and passionate about is a good way to get him to open up a bit.
Every so often you will come across a profile where there is little go by in terms of ideas for opening lines. In that case, you can reference something going on in the world, or locally.
During Covid-19, you can ask something like whether they picked up new skills, have developed a favorite quarantine cocktail recipe or if they actually look like their photos or are looking more like Tom Hanks in Cast Away these days.
Asking about the latest find on Netflix is a much easier way to tread waters without seeming too eager or desperate. It’s next near impossible to connect over something so mainstream like Tiger King or GoT.
Something more independent or not so obvious like Shtisel could not only open about interests in shows but in this case open up about religion, values, customs and family-planning + expectations.
Pro-tip: Be sure not to come off as someone seeking a tour guide to give them trips for their next travel destination. Make sure your comments and questions are relevant to him rather than a general request for information.
Bumble First Message Examples, Openers, Ideas & Tips: Bumble Tips For Females – Online Dating Messages That Work, Bumble First Message Ideas
If a guy as a travel photo in his profile, you can ask something around that. “Hi, (insert name) when did you go to Mexico City? Did you try out any of the places in the Taco Chronicles?”
This sample line does a few things: 1) show that you like tacos (without using the lame line in your bio), 2) watched the the show on Netflix and 3) show you looked at his profile and did not copy and paste a lame line like hi, hey, what’s up, how is quarantine going.
Put in some effort. Using a first name increases a response rate by up to 60%.
Similarly, if you are a guy, don’t just answer with simple one word answers. Add details and context. If you can’t get excited about food while traveling, you are likely a boring person in real life.
A sample Bumble reply to this could be: “I did coincidentally but I didn’t see the show until after I went. I need to go back to check out XYZ. Have you been? I can’t believe I haven’t been before – it’s a shorter flight there than to many places in the U.S. and more exciting, culturally diverse”
Bumble Matches Mean Nothing: Bumble Unmatched After First Message
Just because a guy matched with you on Bumble doesn’t mean anything, unfortunately. Some guys right swipe on every girl on every dating app only to focus on the ones they are most interested in.
For that reason alone, it’s important to understand that first messages often go ignored so make sure you put some effort into it if you want to stand out from the competition.
If someone unmatched you after the first message, don’t take it personally. Revisit your message to see if it was lazy, unoriginal or lacked effort. Make sure your messages are personalized but also not repetitive (i.e. similar to what every guy/girl is writing said person, match).
Dating Profile Critique, Review Services
App Choice, Photo Order, Photo Critique, Bios + Prompts + Photo Captions, Wardrobe Feedback, Grooming Suggestions, Clothing & Hairstyle Recommendations, Body Language, Smiles, Facial Expressions, Hobbies, Interests, Lifestyle Choices, Etiquette & More For Men & Women.
-As seen in the NYT, WSJ, AskMen, Women's Health, Bumble, SFGate, ABC7News-
Bumble No Response After First Message: Sending A Second Message On Bumble, No Replies On Bumble, Bumble Match No Message
A number of you will get impatient or read that Bumble is sometimes a buggy app. Fight the urge to give into your insecurity, and do not send a second message on Bumble as a follow-up.
Many guys are lazy, lack of manners, or are on the apps for the wrong reason. Focus on matches that meet your etiquette, responsiveness and enthusiasm.
Women make the mistake in thinking a match means the guy like them. This is not the case. Some guys swipe right on everyone or focus on girls they are most interested in.
Why Do Guys Stop Messaging On Bumble, No Responses, Replies On Bumble, Guys Don’t Message On Bumble, Why Do Guys Match But Not Message
It’s not uncommon to come up with a thoughtful message on Bumble and get no replies on the app. Sad truth, some guys swipe right on every profile and then reply to ones that they are most interested in and/or ones that are most eager to meet up with (for a hookup).
Don’t waste your time on anyone that doesn’t match your effort, energy, etiquette, responsiveness and intent. Don’t send a follow-up message. If a guy is interested, he will reply enthusiastically. Don’t settle for lazy, short, effortless responses.
If a guy is likely to respond (more so than the average guy) he will have ‘often replies’ badge associated with hit profile. Similarly, if a woman messages first often, she will have the ‘often messages first badge.’
These badges are meant to call out people who don’t message and don’t reply and encourage users to focus on people who message and reply to others. If you don’t see the badge, it is likely they are swiping to too much and don’t follow up with messages or replies.
Why are you on Bumble is one of the worst first messages you can send on the app. Comes off as defensive, unable to trust or someone who is jaded by the experiences on the app.
Save that for later in the conversation. You should be able to tell what a guy is looking for based off his photos, bio and prompts.
Bumble No First Message, Why Do Matches Not Message On Bumble, Why Match If You Won’t Respond, Why Don’t Women Message On Bumble?
Some girls are lazy, others are seeking Instagram followers, some girls forget while others are bombarded by other matches. In this case it helps to ignore girls with IG handles in their profile or pay to jump the queue so women see you sooner.
A girl also has the right to change her mind. She doesn’t owe you anything. She could have looked you on IG, Linkedin, FB or contacted someone like me to do a quick background check on you.
She could have also decided to focus on a prior match or noticed you changed something on your profile.
Bumble Chat: Does Bumble Have Read Receipts
No they do not. Nor do they offer it in any paid subscription. Rather than wonder if someone saw your message, make sure you send quality messages rather than low effort messages and replies.
What To Say On Bumble: Bumble Questions, Conversation Starters, Bumble Questions To Ask, What To Say To A Guy On Bumble
Bumble has a list of generic questions to ask a match when you can’t figure out what to say. Don’t use this. If you can’t figure out what to say, it’s likely the profile is boring or you need practice with conversation skills.
Expand your hobbies, take classes, read the local news, explore the city, take on some new podcasts, sit a bar by yourself. Unoriginal questions suggest a boring lifestyle and lack of effort.
Should I Message Again If No Response On Bumble?
No, have some dignity. Focus on those that match your effort, responsiveness, enthusiasm and general communication etiquette.
Other Things To Consider With Bumble Messages
If you are struggling from getting matches, you might want to review your profile again to make sure you are not self-sabotaging your efforts.
Too many ambiguous group photos or photos with attractive friends, too many photos with sunglasses, lack of full body photos, harsh lighting in photos, snapchat filters, or cliche bios could be an automatic left-swipe (dog mom, ask me anything, brunch, the office, museum of ice cream or color factory photos etc.).
Check out this cliche dating profile bingo card to see how many you check off: https://eddie-hernandez.com/cliche-dating-bingo-cards-for-men-and-women/
Last note on this… it’s common for men to swipe on profiles based on your first photo only and then review your profile in more detail after matching or even after receiving a first message. With that in mind, make sure your photos are consistent (don’t look material different in terms of age, hair style etc.).
Men and women after often judged on their worst photo. Similarly, studio shots, professional photos that are photoshopped are a red flag for most guys. If you hire a photographer for photos, make sure they take natural, candid, organic photos and not staged, stiff photos… someone like me!
Can You Chat On Bumble Without Paying? Can You Message on Bumble For Free?
You do not have to pay to message others on Bumble. But you have limited amount of time do so initially unless you pay to extend 24 hour window.
Can You Message On Bumble Without Matching?
No, you can’t message on Bumble without matching unless you message someone via Instagram listed on their profile.
Perfect First Message, Online Dating, Copy & Paste, Best Bumble Openers, What To Say First On Bumble, Bumble Openers That Aren’t Lame, Funny Bumble Openers To Use On Guys
The best messages are customized. They are not copied and pasted. They show you read the profile and aim to connect with the person.
There is no such thing as a perfect message, as everyone is different and everyone will have varying reactions. Knowing how to read people is key to delivering the best opening lines on dating apps.
Related read: What Not To Say First On Bumble
Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women
Help w/ swiping etiquette, timing, app choice, first messages, photo order, facial expressions, filters, deal-breakers, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags/liars, date planning, cutting-off time-wasters and using dating apps more effectively & efficiently.
As seen in the NYT, Bumble & More.
What Is A Good First Message On Bumble? Do I Have To Message First On Bumble? What Are Some Good Questions To Ask On Bumble? Sample First Message Online Dating
Look for clues in answers to prompts, details in photos or items in their bio. If the profile is empty and the answers to prompts are incomplete and the photos are boring, move on. Ignore red flags because the guy is cute is a common mistake women make on dating apps.
Asking if they tried an item on the menu, checked out a bar while on a trip or slightly teasing a guy is a great way to start a conversation starter. You can learn a lot about a guy by the way he answers random, slightly uncomfortable questions.
How To Respond To Hey On Bumble, How To Reply To Hi On Bumble, How To Respond To Emoji On Bumble
If you have options, don’t reply. This is a lazy first message. Show some restraint, focus on women who put in more effort into an opening message. Show that you read someone’s profile, otherwise they will focus on others who are not so lazy.
Why Don’t Girls Message After Matching On Bumble? What Percentage Of Women Message You After Matching On Bumble? Why Do People Match On Bumble And Then Not Respond?
Some girls can get overwhelmed with matches. Some might change their mind. Some might have advanced their convos and dates with other guys. I would say it’s common that up to 50% of matches will not message you on Bumble.
She might have found something unflattering in your profile after further review or looking you up online on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin etc. Some girls have no intention of sending messages first but might leave their Instagram handle in their bio.
Don’t worry about the girls on Bumble. Focus on what you can do to be more interesting and have more conversation starters in your profile to make it easier for girls to message you first.
Why Don’t Guys Reply On Bumble? Why Don’t Guys Respond On Bumble If They Match With You? Why Match With Someone And Then Not Respond?
Not all guys who swipe right on Bumble are interested in you. Even if they are, they can quickly lose interest if they meet someone else or they overlook something in your profile or they do a quick background check and notice something suspicious i.e. old photos that are outdated and misleading.
Next Read: Biggest Mistakes Women Make On Dating Sites
Bumble IceBreakers, Ice Breaker Questions For Bumble, Bumble Questions Game, Best Opening Messages Bumble, Dating Site Introduction Message Examples, Good Bumble Openers
Below are very generic, boring questions being circulated too frequently – avoid at all cost to avoid sounding basic.
-What’s one thing you would find out about me that would make you excited to go on a date with me?
-What would you guess about me that isn’t on my profile?
-If I showed up to your date dressed as a dinosaur?
-How do you feel about a partner being friends with an ex?
-When are you at your most daring?
-Should you talk to someone you’re dating every day?
-What are you thinking about after two glasses of wine?
-What was your first online screen name?
-What about my profile made you swipe right?
-How old do you feel emotionally?
-Most random way you kept yourself entertained past few weeks?
Bumble Chat Ended Meaning, Bumble Chat Disappeared, Guy Ended The Chat Bumble, Girl Ended The Chat On Bumble
Dating App Where Guy Messages First
Try Tinder, Bumble, Okcupid, Match, Coffee Meets Bagel, Dil Mil, J-Date, J-Swipe, Grindr, POF, The League, The Lox, or just about any other app in the world.
Bumble Hints To Make The First Move
Bumble hints coming soon.
Bumble Intro Examples, Punchy Intro For Bumble, Cute First Message On Bumble, Bumble Opening Lines, Conversation Starters Bumble, Best Bumble Responses For Guys, Funny Opening Lines Bumble
Bumble Profile Tips!
Great Bumble profiles are more than just witty prompts and good photos. Learn how to make a good Bumble profile, how many prompts to use, what information to put in a profile, whether or not you should activate Bumble 'Best Photo' and what interests to list in your profile to attract the type of person you seek.
Related Reading: What Is The Best First Move On Bumble, Bumble Chats, Bumble Openers, Best Opening Lines On Bumble, Fun Bumble Openers, Fun And Punchy Intro For Bumble, Bumble Jokes, Flirty Bumble Openers
Next Read: Tips On Conversation Starters With Matches
Popular Read: What Do Your Dating Photos Signal?
Online Dating 101: Online Dating Red Flags – What Are They, How To Spot Them.
How To Keep The Conversation Going On Bumble – How To Get Beyond The First Few Lines
Biggest Mistakes Women Make On Dating Apps Like Bumble – Common Mistakes, Misconceptions & Assumptions
Good Tinder Opening Lines – Messaging Tips For Men, Women
He’s Just Not That Into You – Signs A Guy Is Not Interested In You
How To Make A Good Bumble Profile – Dating App Profile Tips For Men, Women
Good Bumble Bios – Good Bumble Bios For Men, Women
Online Dating Resource Guide – Stats, Guides, Articles, Studies, Podcasts & More
Worst Bumble Profiles – Bad Bumble Profiles To Avoid
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He has insight into algorithms as well as a keen understanding of dating cultures across locations, demographics, and orientations.
He helps with profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & where to meet singles. Whether you are a POC, short guy, introvert, engineer, or just struggling with dating, he can help you be efficient & strategic.