Online Dating Tips: Men, Women, Beginners, Introverts, Short Guys, Divorced Single Parents, Widows, People Of Color, Guys, Girls, Seniors. Online Dating Advice
The advice for using dating apps will vary by audience, intentions, lifestyle choices, experiences, mindset and advantages and limitations in life. With that said, I have carved out specific sets of online dating tips based on gender, demographics and more.
Online Dating Tips For Beginners
Dating apps are not ordering apps like UberEats. You can’t always have things your way. Dating apps are merely introduction apps and require you to put in work (you can only expect to get out what you put in). With that said, there is a lot of bad advice and poor execution so even with lots of time and effort, you can be miserable on dating apps.
Online dating requires you to have thick skin, be self-aware, be patient, learn to understand what you signal through your photos, bios, prompts, tone, facial expressions and more. You can’t just dabble with apps – you have to put in the effort and focus and that takes time.
Online Dating Tips For Men
Algorithms can be your best friend or worst enemy. Knowing yourself is key to get the most out of apps.
The biggest complaints I hear from women are the men are socially awkward, lack manners, etiquette, have intense facial expressions (lack of smiles), poor wardrobe choices, or bad communication skills.
No matter how many times I say this, guys tend to dismiss this advice or downplay the importance. You will be judged by your worst photos.
You will have a harder time to get a match by swiping on women outside your league, distance, age range, lifestyle choices and height. Knowing which women will likely swipe right on you will help out tremendously with respect to the algorithms.
Relying on photos and prompts can severely limit your options and success on dating apps. Dating apps like Bumble can be unforgiving, as guys can’t send comments before sending a like. As such, you are depending solely on photos, appearance and prompts.
Apps like Hinge can be your friend as men can send comments with like yielding significant chances to get more matches.
For more tips, read this.
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Online Dating Tips For Women
Since men can’t send comments on Bumble like they can on Hinge, they tend to swipe more liberally (right) on the app. Just because you get a like or a match, doesn’t mean the guy is interested, read your profile or will reply.
Some men actually swipe right on all profiles and then focus on those they are most interested in. Don’t assume a guy checks off all the boxes on your profile or agrees to the terms or conditions you put in your bio.
Don’t use filtered photos, don’t lie about your age, don’t downplay your title or job function. If you start off with lies, it is not going to go well for you. Even if a guy is attracted to you and the sex is great, if you tell a good guy you lied about your age, he will drop you if he has morals and is noble.
Sure, many guys lie about their age, intentions, marital status, height and whatnot but if you let guys like this get you jaded, you will stoop to their level and have trouble having success of you own. Your job is not to attract the most number of men but attract the most quality, good guys.
More tips here.
Online Dating Tips For Short Guys
Yes, dating is tough for short guys, even tougher of dating apps. Dating apps tend to be superficial. Sure you can get more likes, matches and dates by lying about your height but that won’t matter if your first date doesn’t turn into second dates or if your date reports you on the app (yes, I advocate people report people for lying about age, height). Enough reports can get you banned.
Sure, there are women who want a guy 6ft tall but most don’t care – it’s all in your head. Putting your height in your bio and appending it by saying “because apparently that matters” makes you come off as jaded, insecure, and a little twat.
You are better off looking confident in your profile, getting better photos, being more strategic with your likes i.e. aiming for women your height or shorter and by dressing well, working on your communication skills, hobbies, interests, style, date ideas and general attitude.
Pro-tip: there are some apps better suited for shorter guys. I will go over those in coaching sessions.
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Online Dating Tips For People Of Color
It’s true, men typically get fewer likes, matches and dates relative to white guys. You can’t ignore that but what you can control is focusing your efforts on women of quality rather than narcissistic, IG influencers, lazy profiles and those with incompatible lifestyle choices. Look at their profile – do they have a diverse set of friends and interests?
On the flip side, women of color tend to be fetishized on dating apps. Asking about ethnicity or race is a common question guys ask. Don’t overlook red flags with these guys.
Just because a guy seems to be really into you doesn’t mean he wants a relationship or anything beyond a hookup. Quality time, patience, effort, manners, etiquette and asking questions will reveal true colors over time.
Online Dating Tips For Introverts
Typically, people want to surround themselves with others that can make them feel good, get them out of their comfort zone and make them feel good about themselves.
While most introverted men will focus their effort on similar women, women (introverts alike) don’t generally seek out boring guys, homebodies, loners, gamers, or socially awkward men.
The more you break stereotypes, have more social hobbies and interests that align with women and the more you are able to carry a conversation, be enthusiastic and make a woman feel good on a date the better your chances will be.
Have poor texting skills or don’t know what to say? Tough luck, inability to communicate well will get you unmatched easily, quickly.
Learn to familiarize yourself with pop culture, local activities and general topics of interest. No need to be superficial but you do need to make some compromises in your life. If you are not ready to do this, you are not going to have much of a realistic shot on dating apps.
Online Dating Tips For Seniors
Senior citizens are one of the fastest-growing segments on dating apps but unfortunately, they are one of the most likely (in addition to loners) to be targeted by scammers. It’s essential to use good judgment, be patient, ask questions and not be fall into the traps set forth by deceptive, bad people.
Having realistic expectations and self-awareness is key. Chances are if it’s too good to be true, it likely is. Dating apps don’t screen profiles or do background checks.
Don’t go off the apps to communicate with others before meeting in person, don’t give out private info to strangers, to click on foreign links, don’t overly invest yourself in someone you have never met in person.
Familiarize with dating scams, romance scammers and more here.
Online Dating Tips For Single Parents, Moms, Dads
Dating can be overwhelming after coming out of divorce or a breakup. Statistically speaking, you are more likely to meet better people who also have kids.
Don’t waste too much time on niche apps (they often don’t have enough users or make false promises). Dating will take time so be patient, don’t use photos of your kids in your profile, learn to be patient, ask questions and look for green flags.
While privacy and safety are important, screening profiles, and reading people is ongoing and not a one-time thing. You must constantly be on the lookout for inconsistencies, lies, or dodgy behavior. Don’t assume people want the same thing as you. Don’t assume people are divorced, separated or even no longer living with their ex.
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Suggested Reading: How To Do Online Dating Successfully: How To Get Better At Hinge, Bumble, Tinder; How To Use Dating Apps, Dating App Help, How To Navigate Online Dating, Online Dating Tips For Success
Online Dating FAQ’s (Online Dating Tips For Beginners)
Online Dating Resource Guide – Studies, Surveys, Books, Podcasts (Online Dating Guide)
How To Be Successful On Bumble: Bumble Profile Tips, Advice, How Do I Get Better At Bumble, Bumble Tips
Bumble Profile Tips (How To Do Better On Bumble)
How To Be Successful On Hinge: Hinge Profile Tips, Advice, How Do I Get Better At Hinge, Hinge Tips
Hinge Profile Tips (How To Do Better On Hinge)
Online Dating Tips For Women; Online Dating Help, How To Online Date As A Woman
Online Dating Tips For Men; Online Dating Help, Online Dating For Guys
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a dating consultant for men & women and a professional photographer based in San Francisco, servicing clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, and beyond as seen in the NYT, WSJ, SFGate, ABC7News & more.
Previously an analytics professional and user of dating apps himself, he possesses unique insight into the inner workings of dating apps and user behavior. He provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice, image consulting, date planning, screening profiles, ID'ing red flags, and offline techniques for meeting people organically.