Online Dating Questions (FAQ’s), Intro Guide To Dating Apps

You want to use at least 4 pictures but no more than 6 for a dating profile. The more photos you post the more harshly you will be judged i.e. you are only as good looking as your worst photo. With that said, some dating apps like Hinge require you to have exactly 6 photos.

Unfortunately looks do matter. A photo is the first thing a person sees on your profile. First impressions carry the most weight with dating apps. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter how you look in person if you don’t photograph decently.

Plenty of people look better in person than in their photos which doesn’t help their case on dating apps. 

You want versatility in your photos to highlight environments, situations, fashion sense and lifestyle. Avoid shirtless bathroom selfies and other automatic left swipe photo. Dressing for the person you want to attract is what you should aim for (instead of dressing for comfort). Read more about attire here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/what-to-wear-in-your-dating-photos/

That depends on your demographics, lifestyle, and how you want to market yourself. Most people think modeling, portrait and professional headshots are best but these are often staged, airbrushed and lifeless. Most people today can detect such bland and forced photos.

If you want to get the most out of your photos, get some photo that reveal a side of you that is flattering, insightful, candid and even self-deprecating. For additional advice on photos, check out this photo intro.​

Dog pics on Tinder can work fine but be sure to limit photos to just one photo in your profile, don’t stage the photo, don’t mouth-hug your dog and don’t use it as your main dating profile photo.

Cats will reduce your chances for matching but you might connect with someone who feels strongly about cats. Lastly make sure the dog is yours. Dogfishing is not encouraged.

No, I highly recommend you don’t for privacy reasons mostly. People understand kids are the center of your universe (or at least should be) but avoid photos with them.

Instead, list how many kids you have and their ages in your bio. Read more about this here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-apps-for-single-parents-best-dating-sites/ 

No! Being truthful is important in online dating. If you lie about age or height right off the bat, what else might you be lying about?

Starting off with a lie is a recipe for failure and frustration. It signals insecurity or strong likelihood for lying about other items in your profile. Read more about this here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/the-most-common-lies-on-dating-apps/ 

If you use a screen name or initial prepare to receives fewer matches, interest. Read this post on usernames: https://eddie-hernandez.com/plenty-of-fish-usernames/ 

Passions, stories, curiosities, interests, travels are all good places to start. Avoid cliche, boring dating bios. Being negative or displaying deal-breakers on dating profiles is generally not advised.

Hinge: https://eddie-hernandez.com/best-hinge-questions-good-hinge-prompt-answers/ 

Bumble: https://eddie-hernandez.com/best-bumble-profile-prompts/ 

Being too cliche, vague, boring or obscure. Finding a balance between socially aware yet being authentic and interesting is idea.

Read this post for an exhaustive explanation on the pros and cons of each.

Every article and survey out there is based on some sample size and don’t necessarily provide the right drivers for success nor accurate expectations. After our photo session, I will provide specific guidance on what I recommend for you based on age, location, personality etc. 

If you are purely interested in apps with the most users, take a look at this survey: https://eddie-hernandez.com/monthly-average-mobile-users-dating-apps/

Please read this detailed post before diving into dating apps. Nothing is ever completely safe but there are ways to reduce exposure to scams, catfishers etc. Read this: https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-safety-tips-dating-app-dangers/ 

Hinge is one of the most popular dating apps for relationship minded folks. For help with photos, prompts, captions, bios, conversation starters are more read my Hinge blog posts: https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-apps/hinge/

There are no guaranteed red flags nor is this an exhaustive list of red flags but if you notice several of these things surfacing on profiles, messages and behavior then take note.

There are no guaranteed ways to be 100% certain but there are ways through profile analysis, reverse images searches, patience and questions to reduce chances of being scammed. Read this for more info

https://eddie-hernandez.com/how-to-spot-fake-profiles-catfishing-on-dating-apps/ 

Most people stay on dating apps until they become exclusive with someone or decide they want to focus on one person and see how things turn out. Some people get off apps after a few years of having little to no success.

Online dating is not worth it for all people especially if they lack self-awareness, realistic expectations, have bad app choices, poor profiles, bad communication skills.

Related read: Taking A Break From Dating Apps

On Bumble, this is called Incognito Mode. Apps like The League use your company info to possible block colleagues from seeing your profile if you choose to do so.

For many it’s 1-3 likes, matches a day but quality is more important that quantity as matches can come from bots, spammers and people outside your location, age range, or attractiveness thresholds. R

ead this guide on how to have more success on dating apps.

Dating apps have many questions and they vary by app but most ask basic info like age, location, height, profession, gender, orientation while other ask more lifestyle questions i.e. drinking, smoking, religion and politics.

Some questions are optional while others are required. Check questions for apps here.

Secondly, you deprive yourself of the chance to experience the exploration of getting to know someone through those messages.

Some services are known to use a fake dog, outfit, photoshopped images, to mislead women. Don’t do it. Be yourself but be yourself on a good day.

No! While those photos might solicit likes, they don’t necessarily result in quality dates. Be yourself, be candid. Smile naturally, don’t force it. Look at the camera, look interested and present not self-absorbed nor shy. Looking away might signal insecurity, hiding something or general shyness. Read this for additional insight.  ​

Similarly, during the review process I will review existing photos and see if there are any worth using and if necessary I will edit them as such at no cost (with any dating photo session).

Don’t fall for the trap of thinking everyone photoshops their images, while some do, it is common for folks to not advance past 1st dates because of misrepresentation in photos.

Related read: Misleading Dating Profile Photos

If you make material changes to your appearance you should update your photos. For most people, photos should be taken within the last 2-3 years. Some people can get away with photos beyond that timeframe but most can’t or at least should not.

Related read: Online Dating Photos Guide

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Not necessarily. Only Match.com requires you to pay a subscription to send and receive messages.

Most other dating sites are free to use but charge you for expediting your application, providing more profiles, undoing accidental swipes, sending a super-like or super-swipe or allowing you to access additional filters and preferences in your search.

I typically advise clients to not pay for such bells and whistles when it comes to add-ons but in a few instances it can be beneficial.

https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-app-review/

It is bad etiquette to swipe right on someone you are not interested in. In fact if you don’t respond or message people you match with it can hurt your ELO score. Read: Dating app messaging etiquette.

Be enthusiastic, be prompt but no need to be overly aggressive. Would you tell someone you really like them at a bar or cafe within the first 2 minutes of meeting them. How creepy would that be?

I personally think you should not swipe right on someone unless you are generally interested in them or are curious to learn more about the person.

Casually swiping right without an intention to write them, get to know them or possibly go on a date with them is rude. In terms of conversation starters, check out this guide I put together.

The best conversation starters are ones that are natural, specific and take into consideration photos, bio information, captions or prompts used in profile.

Copying and pasting lines is never a good idea neither is Hi or Hey on Bumble those are some of the worst first messages possible. Cliche openers are a sure way of illustrating laziness and lack of creativity.

For additional tips, check out this post I wrote on conversation starters.

Always message. Likes are lazy, show no effort and lack sincerity. If you are looking for a hookup and trying to play it cool, perhaps go for the like but most of the advice is geared toward relationship focused, mature adults. Read more about it here:

https://eddie-hernandez.com/why-men-need-to-stop-liking-and-start-messaging/ 

https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-first-dates/ 

Yes, it’s called your eyes. Do a quick background check on matches. When in doubt, do a video date chat first. When all else fails, leave the date immediately if the person misrepresented themselves (don’t stick around as a courtesy).

Read Modern Romance  by Aziz Ansari; Maureen O’Connor (New York Magazine’s Sex Lives Podcast). Great Economist article on dating trends. For you introvert’s check out Susan Cain’s Quiet.  

Be sure to check out this resource guide of all blogs, podcasts, studies, articles, ted talks and more about dating culture, online dating and more.

Yes, I do! I offer this with photo packages all the time but I now offer them remotely for clients unable to come to me or meet me during my travels.

Like all things in life, it requires patience, skills, focused effort as well as good photos, prompts, app choice, answers, communication skills, appearances etc. 

Similarly, most women want to date men that are at least their height, some a few inches taller and a few significantly taller or at least 6 feet tall. Statistically speaking, dating apps can be brutal for short guys.

There are some apps I recommend for shorter clients that tends to fare better than other apps.