Dating App Rejection, Unmatching & Ending Conversations

How To End Conversation On Dating Apps, Accidentally Unmatching On Hinge, Bumble. Not Interested, Rejection, What To Say, Etiquette, Blocking

A lot of people make the assumption that once a match occurs, it’s smooth sailing towards the date. This couldn’t be further from the truth. There is a lot of rejection on dating apps that happens whether or not a conversation takes place, date is planned or even if someone texts they are on their way.

The sad reality is that not everyone swipes right on people they would like to get to know or date. Some people are on dating apps for different reasons other than what you would assume. Unmatching on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and other apps can occur when you least expect it and happens more often than not.

As hard as it is to get matches for some people, getting to dates is arguably even harder. Lazy, generic, cliche first messages and slow response times are common and are the biggest factors in getting ghosted and unmatched as well as things outside one’s control like the other person focusing on others or deciding they are not ready to date.

Not everyone shares the same level of etiquette, self-awareness, mental health and courtesy as you do. It takes thick skin to not get jaded from bad behavior on dating apps and more self-awareness to not overly invest yourself in strangers you hardly know or have never met.

Now there are likes, hearts, emojis, favorites, queues and super likes, super swipes & roses. All these communication variables demand some pause and understanding, so you have a proper sense of how to terminate conversations, matches and relationships.

Below are some helpful tips on how quickly to respond to messages, how to let people down gently, when it’s ok to ghost, guides for etiquette around dating planning, rescheduling dates, how to unmatch on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge and how to deal with online dating rejection.

Related read: No Replies On Hinge, No Responses On Bumble

How To Measure Initial Interest, What Does A Like, Match Mean

Not all apps are created equal. Some allow users to message others instantly, others only let women message first, while most apps allow people to message each other only after exchanging mutual blind likes.

These might seem like subtle nuances, but depending on initial contacts, certain etiquette is recommended when ending things with others.

It’s also important to understand the business models and functionality of each dating app. Some allow for limitless matches, contacts while others throttle profiles, so you can carefully spend more time reviewing vs mindless swiping without much thought.

Sometimes a like is all someone can do until matching, while apps like Hinge allow for users to like a photo, caption or to comment on them. Knowing the difference is one key to gauging interest, effort on dating apps.

On apps like Hinge, likes are low effort signals of interest. It’s always better to comment. I recommend people not to respond to likes on Hinge – focus on those that put in effort to write something interesting, engaged and insightful.

Similarly, even after matching, don’t assume there is something there where there is not.

Online Dating Statistics, Reddit | Swiping Men vs Women

Related read: Dating In Silicon Valley | Seattle | Austin | Los Angeles | Chicago | San Francisco | New York | London

Do You Owe A Response To Everyone Who Messages You On Dating Apps?

Not everyone is on dating apps to meet others for a date. Some are lonely, some are bored, others are bots/spammers while others are seeking attention. Rather than get caught up on profiles, superficial compatibility and attractiveness, don’t ignore effort, responsiveness and etiquette.

Liking/matching is the first step towards signaling attraction, it’s not a major indicator, only an indicator.

Just because someone is matched with you, doesn’t mean they want to go on a date with you or think you are attractive or compatible. Dating apps are merely introduction apps, not ordering apps.

Matches are meant to be explored and see if there is additional interest beyond what is observed in the profile. As such, sending a message to a person or a match is a reflection of your effort, sincerity and manners.

Related read: Online Dating Deal-Breakers

Why Don’t People Respond To Messages On Dating Sites, Stopped Responding On Dating Apps

On that note, just because you wrote a very thought-out message to a person on a dating app, there is no requirement for them to respond or acknowledge messages. Matches mean nothing as some people swipe right on every one.

It’s not uncommon for some women, especially new to apps, to get dozens or hundreds of likes and messages in a day. Women in particular don’t spend as much time glued to dating apps like their counterparts. It’s not uncommon to get a reply end of day or next morning.

Similarly, not all guys are into women they match with, message. Some guys follow a volume approach and focus on those they are most interested in, sleeping with or meeting up with sooner than later. Don’t take it personally, don’t overly invest yourself in strangers.

Not all apps display these likes, matches and messages at once. Many throttle the communications to maximize monetization efforts on the site. More so, don’t expect a response regardless of your thoughtfulness if you don’t meet their preferences, deal-breakers (height, religion and political affiliation).

Expect even fewer responses if there is a large physical distance between you, large age gap or cringy photos in your profile.

Follow-Up Text After No Response, Double-Texting On Dating Apps (Hinge, Bumble)

Don’t bother wasting your time on low-effort people. If someone is interested in you, they will make it known. Focus on those that do reply to your messages and are enthusiastic about learning more about you.

Is It Ok To Ghost On Dating Apps? When Is It Ok To Ghost On Bumble, Hinge, Tinder

Read about the situations where it’s ok to ghost others here.

Online Dating Etiquette: Politely Rejecting Someone On Dating Sites

It takes a lot of patience, vulnerability to open up to someone with an opening message. Superficial messages usually get ignored, while verbose messages that read like novels seem excessive and rather creepy or overly eager.

First messages should balance thoughtfulness and brevity. In such cases, it’s recommended to politely decline someone’s message if they clearly have demonstrated they read your profile, curated their message to you and most importantly put effort/did research about your photo or prompt.

Lazy, stupid questions that can be Google’d don’t deserve a response. If someone lists a non-profit as their job, don’t ask what the non-profit does. People have no patience for those that could have used LMGTFY to answer their questions.

If someone looks something up, ask you a specific question that is thoughtful and genuine and sends a compliment that is not body based, I think it’s reasonable to politely say you are not interested in them. No need to get into specifics.

You can say you have decided you are focusing on someone else or don’t think you are compatible. If you get a vulgar, disrespectful reply, it is recommended you report the profile to the app and document (screenshot for future reference).

Bumble Like Disappeared, Hinge Like Disappeared; Why Do Likes Disappear?

This happens. People can’t take back likes directly but likes can disappear if a person blocks you, is banned or deletes their profile. Rather than figure out why this is happening, focus on those that don’t disappear. Hinge likes disappear regularly, as do Bumble likes. 

Bumble likes and Hinge likes can disappear if you happen to swipe left/tap x on them. 

As for Bumble, likes will disappear if the 24 hour window elapses. You cannot view expired likes/matches unless you pay for Premium.

Unmatching On Dating Apps: Unmatch, Block or Ignore On Hinge, Bumble

If you do decide for whatever reason to end a conversation with someone, there are a few way to do it. If you don’t send a message with an unmatch, block or simply decide to ignore and let matches expire, some people might be hesitant to believe things are over and you have moved on. I am all for being direct rather than avoiding uncomfortable situations when possible.

If someone sends graphic photos, vulgar material etc. no explanation is needed. In fact, it’s best to screenshot and not reply but rather block as unmatching or ignoring can result in a re-match down the road.

Not all apps are great apps – most are buggy and it’s possible messages are received/sent so keep that in mind in case you decide to leave matches as they are. From a safety perspective, you don’t want people to see your updated IG feeds or updated locations on apps.

Apps like Hinge allow you to only see one like at a time and so in order to see the next profile in your like queue, you need to skip or like. Skipping the profile removes the like from both users (as if it never occurred). Sometimes this is intentional, sometimes it’s by accident, especially if the user is new to Hinge.

Unmatched After First Message Bumble, Unmatched On Hinge After Sending First Message

It happens. Maybe your message was terrible. Maybe it was the same one everyone else sent the person. Maybe you didn’t customize it to show you read their profile. Maybe you said something creepy. In a few cases, it could be because the person was banned, was overwhelmed, deleted the app or unmatched accidentally. Move along.

Why Do Guys Unmatch On Hinge? Bumble? Guy Unmatched Me On Hinge

One possible red flag to be aware of is when a user deletes their profile right after exchanging numbers or agreeing to go on a date with you. This tactic can be innocent but all too often it’s a sign they are trying to avoid detection and being reported for a scam or something worse.

Apps like Bumble have made adjustments to still view/report profiles that unmatch with you but use caution, look for other red flags in these scenarios.

Unmatching on Bumble is something you should not ignore. If someone unmatched you on Bumble but is still texting you, be careful.

Why Do Guys Unmatch After Getting Phone Number? He Unmatched Me But Is Still Texting

Another reason people unmatch is to free up space to talk to other people in their queue or to prevent you from seeing their updates/changes to their profiles, photos etc.

In either way, it he unmatches you but is still texting, it’s a sketchy move. It’s something that you should take note of as it’s not a good sign to send to someone you are talking to on dating apps and trying to arrange a date with.

Some people also unmatch you but still text because it makes it harder to report them for offline/off-app behavior.

Why Don’t Guys Reply Back On Bumble, Girl Unmatched Me On Bumble

Some guys don’t read profiles, some swipe right on everyone. Some guys reassess profiles after matching and focus on profiles they are most interested in.

Not all women message matches so guys in turn swipe right more often (volume approach) which means they are not always interested in their matches.

Some women get overwhelmed with the number of matches that they just just focus on a few guys in their queue. Some might change their mind about you. If guys only swiped right on girls they actually like and would talk to, this issue and frustration would be resolved somewhat.

Related read: He’s Just Not That Into You (Bumble Match But No Message)

What Percentage Of Bumble, Hinge Matches Message? Online Dating Rules

Assume less than 50%. Just because you passed the initial threshold of interest, doesn’t mean that is enough. Some people will already be busy with other matches, dates. Some might change their mind after Googling you or showing your profile to a friend, some might have accidentally swiped, some might notice your location is suspicious while others may have had a change of heart.

Some guys swipe right on everyone. Some girls get too many likes, messages and choose to focus on a few guys at a time. Read this for more info.

How Many Matches Turn Into Dates? How Many Hinge, Bumble Matches Turn Into Dates? 

Depends on your ability to screen profiles, read people, communicate well, plan first dates and have good etiquette while messaging. It could be as high as 40-60% but could be as low as 0%. It really depends on you, your self-awareness and realistic expectations.

Is It Rude To Unmatch On Hinge, Is It Rude To Unmatch Bumble Before Date, After Getting Number?

If the person is slow to respond or is awful at carrying a conversation or doesn’t know how to plan a date, there is no reason to stay matched. Unmatching on Bumble and Hinge is not rude, especially if the person didn’t clearly read your profile, said something inappropriate or is a lazy texter.

Some people lack conversation and texting etiquette and it’s not your responsibility to teach them. Unmatching on Hinge is better etiquette than staying matched and not responding to messages. At least the unmatching provides more concrete notice.

Online Dating Etiquette After First Date: Unmatched On Hinge, Bumble After Date

Some people like to wait after the first date to see if/when someone replies about their thoughts about how the date went and any possible interest with respect to a second date. If you are waiting to express interest in a second date after the first date, it might be too late.

Showing enthusiasm and subtly mentioning another date is a good way to increase chances for a second date. If a date can’t positively read you on a first date, there might be doubt and corresponding lack of interest in a second date.

A good way to follow up on the first date is with a text message after the first date to express gratitude for the person’s time and providing clear indication that you either want to see the person again or don’t wish to see the person again.

Leaving things ambiguous or not communicating at all is immature. Many people (especially women) might feel uncomfortable making this known at the end of the first date due to safety concerns or unsure how a guy will react.

In some cases, neither party makes a move after the first date and things just hang in limbo. No one wants to be someone’s second choice  and no one wants to see someone who isn’t enthusiastic about them.

Dating is about matching etiquette, responsiveness while being vulnerable, taking chances and being enthusiastic and clear about intentions. Unless it’s obvious the date was a disaster or the person was an a-hole during the date, make it obvious that there will not be a second date. Don’t ghost.

How To Unmatch On Hinge, How Do You Delete A Match On Hinge

Go to the person’s profile, tap the three dots in the upper right corner and select ‘Unmatch’.

Once done, users will no longer be able to access conversations so if someone is creepy or does something offline, screenshot the messages and profile first for evidence to report to Hinge or authorities.

If You Unmatch Someone On Hinge What Happens? Does It Delete Hinge Messages? 

Unmatching is permanent. If you unmatch someone on Hinge, you will not see the other person’s profile again, nor will they see your profile unless either of you creates a new profile with new credentials. Conversations are also unavailable after being unmatched.

Accidentally Unmatched On Hinge, Bumble, Tinder

It happens, move along. Next time pay attention.

Did Someone Unmatch Me On Facebook Dating? How To Unmatch On FB Dating?

You will not know if someone unmatched you on facebook dating but just assume so and move along. Rather than waste time on people like this, focus on those that don’t unmatch you.

To unmatch, go to the match, select the 3 dots in the upper right and select delete conversation.

How To Unmatch, Delete Match On Bumble? If You Unmatch, What Happens? 

Open up the conversation with said match, tap the three dots in the upper right corner and select ‘Unmatch’.

After unmatching, the profile will be grayed out and you will not be able to access the profile, but you will still be able to report the profile directly either by tapping the button at the bottom of the screen or the top right (3 dots). Unmatching on Bumble deletes the conversation for both people and won’t allow people to message each other.

Accidentally Unmatched: If You Unmatch On Bumble Does The Conversation Disappear?

This is permanent and can’t be undone. However, some people can create new profiles, duplicate profiles on Bumble. Similarly, messages are greyed out for those that were unmatched. The conversation will disappear for the person that initiated the unmatching.

How To Unmatch On Tinder, If You Unmatches On Tinder Does The Conversation Disappear?

To unmatch on Tinder, open the chat with the person you want to unmatch with, tap the flag icon (on iOS) or the ellipses icon (on Android) in the top right-hand corner then select ‘Unmatch’.

Once you unmatch, you will not be able to report users so best to screenshot profile and messages first and then report rather than just unmatch.

Edit: the flag icon is now a shield icon. You can report profiles after unmatching but it’s always a good idea to screenshot all profiles, messages in question in change you change your mind (makes it easier to do so down the road).

Ghosted But Not Unmatched: Still Matched On Bumble, Hinge Etc.

Some people are delusional. They assume because he or she has not unmatched there is still hope. Focus on those that don’t ghost you. Unmatch people that ghosted you – out of site, out of mind. Don’t let them occupy real estate in your head.

How To Block Someone On Tinder; How To Block Contacts On Hinge, Bumble

It’s unfortunate but there will be a time when you need to block someone on a dating app. Even before using dating apps, I encourage people to use a Google Voice number so people cannot look up your address or info online with your mobile phone.

Tinder Block Contacts allows users to block their profile from being shown to their contact list but only if they use the same number to create an account. Tinder allows users to click on the safety toolkit (shield in the upper right corner) and either unmatch only or unmatch and report.

On Bumble, selecting Hide & Report brings up a menu in which one can either hide the profile or block and report the user. Bumble then allows users to select a reason whether it’s for fake accounts, language, threats, offline behavior, lying about age or other items.

On Match, go to the person’s profile and select the 3 dots and select block.

Hinge Match Disappeared: Hinge Profile Disappeared, Hinge Message Disappeared

Hinge unmatching happens fairly often. It means someone deleted their profile or unmatched you. If someone paused their account, they would still be able to chat with you. Assume sketchy behavior here or someone lost interest. Either way, move on. Hinge matches disappear all the time, rather than worry why they disappeared, focus on Hinge matches that don’t disappear.

Rejection Text After First Date, Felt No Spark After First Date, He Unmatched Me After First Date

After a first date, it is recommended to send a text or message through the app to thank the other person for their time and to let them know if you would like to see them again or not. In cases where the person was not friendly or the date is awkward, no message is needed.

A simple message is suffice: “Hi (insert name), thanks for your time today but I have decided to focus on a few other dates/matches. I appreciate your understanding and wish you the best of luck.”

This message is succinct and clear. If you say something like I don’t think is going to work out or I don’t think I can see you right now, there is a small sliver of hope and that is sometimes all a guy needs to hold on to hope.

Some people defer to the ‘no spark’ line which is fine but some people hate vague reasons. Similarly, if you are that person, stop overly investing yourself in someone too soon. It takes time to develop attraction for most people and some people either have set deal-breakers unknown to you, are not ready to date or were not impressed. No need to divulge more info than that.

When sending a message, screenshot profiles as some guys can become bitter and make false reports about you or your profile.

Does Removing Someone From Hinge Block Them?

No, it does not if they create a new account from scratch.

Bumble Ended The Chat: What Does It Mean When Someone Ended The Chat On Bumble? 

It means someone has unmatched you.

How To Handle Rejection On Dating Apps, How To Deal With Rejection Online Dating

It’s important to learn to deal with rejection and not internalize everything. If that is not possible, don’t use apps. You can’t control what others do, say but you can reduce chances of going on bad dates and ignoring awful people by developing thick skin.

Get support you need so you don’t go into a dark place if you get left swiped all the time, get people to unmatch you often, quickly or get dates canceled or can’t secure second dates.

Take a break from dating apps and dating in general. Focus on yourself. Exercise, eat well, develop new hobbies, get new photos, get independent on your profile (from people who are unbiased), delete your account, make sure you are on the right apps, work on communication skills.

Chances are it’s something about your profile, lifestyle, demographics, ability to screen profiles/ready people or pickiness that are holding you back (or a combination of things). Unless you take a hard look at your efforts, nothing will change.

I am usually the first person people show their dating profiles to when they hire me for consultations. It’s important to get help rather than pay for boosts, use more apps, or swipe right more often.

Can You Rematch On Tinder? Can You Rematch On Bumble? Can You Rematch On Hinge?

It’s possible if you create a new profile, with a new account (phone/credentials). Similarly, you can rematch on apps like Bumble but it may take time to see the profile again unless you pay to rematch instantly via Bumble Premium (not recommended as chances are low).

You can only rematch on Bumble on matches where it was your turn to send the opening line, otherwise you will have to wait for the other person to rematch with you on Bumble.

Unmatching on Hinge is otherwise permanent and you cannot rematch.

If You Delete Hinge, Does It Unmatch? If You Delete Hinge App, Does It Unmatch?

No, deleting the app does not affect matches on Hinge.

Tinder Match Disappeared Giving Phone Number; Unmatched After Exchanging Numberss

If a Tinder match disappears, they could have unmatched you, they could have blocked you, they could have changed their mind about you (better matches), they could have accidentally unmatched or they could have been banned from the app.

People typically unmatch because they lose interest, want to free up their match queue or want to avoid being reported on the app easily (offline behavior).

Some people unmatch to free up their match queue (shady), others unmatch to make it easier to manage matches, others do it to make it harder to report them or avoid changes on their profile being seen by you. Huge red flag.

Don’t spend too much time trying to figure out people. It’s not always about you. Don’t internalize rejection. Get feedback on your profile, messages and ability to screen profiles but don’t think it’s your fault all the time.

No Responses On Bumble, No Replies On Hinge; No Replies On Dating Apps

Maybe you are not their type, maybe you did not send a good enough comment that is unique and hasn’t been seen already. Perhaps your timing was off. Perhaps your photos, bio and profile lack conversation starters.

Maybe the other person is bot/spammer/fake account. Possibly the person is not interested in you (even if you match – matches mean nothing).

There are a number of methods to improve your chances to get more responses on dating sites. No responses on Bumble is pretty common if you understand the nature of Bumble and know that some guys swipe right on everyone (even if they don’t look at their profile) and only reply to those they actually like.

Related read: No Responses On Dating Apps

Do Online Dates Stand You Up More Frequently Than Other Dates?

Yes, unfortunately it’s more likely to happen given lack of information, dating experience and anonymity. Poor date ideas, inability to confirm dates doesn’t help either.

What Do You Text After Being Stood Up? What To Do After You Were Stood Up On A Date?

Nothing, you move along and focus your efforts on those that don’t stand you up. It’s that simple.

Go on the date, treat yourself, talk to someone at the bar.

How To End Hinge Conversation, How To End Bumble Conversation

It was nice speaking with you but I wanted to let you know that I decided to focus my time on other matches. I wish you the best of luck.

How Do I Know If Someone Unmatched Me On Bumble? 

Conversations are greyed out and users will be able to report users if something bad occurred on or off the app.

Unmatched Before First Date, Unmatched After Setting Up Date

Some guys do this to free up their match queue or make it harder for women to report them on apps. Some women do this because they changed their mind or because it was a fake account / scammer to begin with. Other times women do this because they Googled you and found something unflattering or misleading. Regardless of the reason, it’s never a good sign when this happens.

Always check to see if you are still matched before leaving to go on the date.

Bumble Response Rate, Bumble Match But No Message, Hinge Match But No Message

Definitely lower than on Hinge. They don’t reply to you because you assumed they were interested in you – they were not. Also, some people don’t see likes for weeks or months depending on how active they are on the app and how much interest they get. The more realistic you are with your swiping and more effort you put into your bio and prompts, the more responses you will get.

Related read: No Replies On Bumble

If I Unmatch On Hinge, Will They Know? If I Unmatch On Hinge Can They See Messages

They may not get notified, but they will just assume they were unmatched on Hinge. Messages disappear from Hinge after unmatching… unless they screenshot them and it lives forever on their phone/internet.

Ghosted After Exchanging Numbers, Unmatched On Hinge/Bumble After Exchanging Numbers

This happens on dating apps and offline as well. Not a big deal, people change their mind. Don’t think giving a number out means anything.

Phone numbers without planning, dates, messages, sustained interest means nothing. Stop overly investing yourself into meaningless actions. Hold out for those that make it obvious they want to get to know you more and see you. It’s easier for some people to ghost rather than reject you.

Related read: Ghosting 101, Etiquette