Top Dating Apps In SF For Men, Women, Best Dating Sites, Apps in San Francisco. Best Dating Apps For Relationships. San Francisco Online Dating Services.
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There are countless dating apps these days and with that obscure, niche sites that claim to specialize in specific demographics and interests: Farmer’s Only, eHarmony (the first marriage focused dating app), Lumen (Dating Over 50), J-Date (Jewish Singles), Zoosk (not sure who uses this or why), The League (“professionals, with acceptance and matches based on LinkedIn and Facebook profiles”) and so on and so forth.
All these choices can make it hard to choose a dating app that is ideal for you.
10+ years ago, OkCupid and Match.com were safe bets and only games in town with enough market share that you could confidently use without risk of running out of profiles (unless you were too picky, lazy or self-sabotaged your profile photos, bios and messages).
Dating apps then were straightforward – create a profile, upload photos, write a bio, browse profiles, message said person and ask them out on a date.
These days, users are segmented across more apps than ever before which dilutes the user bases across all apps. With that said, be prepared for the boring profiles to fill your like queue.
Best Dating Sites, Apps In San Francisco, SF Dating Services
Intent is more varied than ever. Some apps are viewed as more casual and hookup oriented, while others claim to be relationship focused but don’t do a good job of screening folks.
Unfortunately, apps and technology companies like UberEats and Amazon have altered the mindset of all consumers thinking they can get exactly what they want with a few swipes and clicks. However, dating apps are not like food-ordering or other shopping apps, they are merely introduction apps.
Dating apps should not be expected to screen users, filter out creeps nor weed out hook-up focused individuals – nothing will nor should replace the due diligence and social skills needed to analyze people and profiles, ask questions, be patient and meet in person.
No dating app is perfect but there are some great dating apps out there if you know how to approach them, know which photos are effective, know how to write a bio and have realistic expectations based on your own looks, education, height, age and location.
For those that like to meet people the old fashioned way, check out this post on meeting people in San Francisco.
How To Get More Matches On Dating Apps: https://eddie-hernandez.com/how-to-get-more-matches-on-dating-apps/
Below are my favorite dating apps right now that I recommend most to clients:
Bumble Dating App
Bumble not only has a great female to male ratio of users on the site, there is verification process that other apps do not have and that is in the photo verification process of the registration process. Users must take a photo of themselves in the pose that is requested and user profiles are reviewed.
The other reason I like this dating app is that women no longer have to worry about getting messages from unwanted profiles. You decide which profiles you like and only those are allowed to match with you.
If you don’t like a profile, they cannot message you. The trade-off here is that women need to send the first message to matches to engage in conversation – additionally the window to do so before matches expire is 24 hours. Many women I know hate this part of the app but some like the control here.
Recommended Demographics: 27-45, bigger U.S. cities.
For tips on photos, prompts, first messages and how to reply to messages, check out my Bumble blog posts here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-apps/bumble/
Hinge Dating App
Hinge is perhaps my favorite dating app at the moment given it’s non-swipe focus (requires you to tap vs swipe) but also because of the quality of users.
This dating app requires 6 photos which is great at eliminating profiles without enough photos and also provides excellent prompt possibilities facilitating conversations.
The biggest con about this dating app is that it is extremely buggy. There is a lot of confusion on whether likes and messages were sent and received as well as profiles appearing too much or if they ever will again if you accidentally mark no.
The other complaint is with profile bans and creating new accounts or using different login methods. If you lose phones, use a phone number you don’t have access to, have different info on Facebook than is actually true, your account might be flagged.
Also, if you try to re-create your account to often in an attempt to game the system so your new profile is shown to more people, your profile can be banned or at least penalized and shown to fewer users possibly.
Don’t be creepy, don’t try to game the system, don’t lie about yourself and don’t lose access to your phone, email or facebook account and you will be ok.
Additional Reading: Best Hinge Prompts / Questions
Recommended Demographics: 23-45, bigger for U.S. cities
Hinge has seen a major uptick in gay profiles since Pete Buttigieg announced he met his husband on the app.
Coffee Meets Bagel Dating App
Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a great dating app for relationship focused users. It throttles the number of profiles shown and thus requires more review and time to analyze profiles before you. There are profiles served to you based on your demographics as well as search function as well.
The whole concept of beans and currency is confusing and a bit immature (as you can see in their strong demographics of millennials) but it is popular among 20 and 30 year old in the U.S.
Recommended Demographics: 23-35, bigger U.S. cities. A strong Asian community of users is on this dating app, perhaps more than any other.
Dating Coach Services - Men & Women
First date ideas, wardrobe styling, places to meet singles, where to sit at bars & restaurants, body language, vocal intonation, eye contact, conversation skills, how to be more approachable, conversation starters, mock dates, and more.
-As seen in the NYT, WSJ & More
OkCupid Dating App
OkCupid is one of the older kids on the block and sometimes overlooked. It is still a solid app for introverts, quirky folks, shy people, people who lead alternative lifestyles, non-monogamous folks, and people who are a little more expressive than the character limits allow on sites like Tinder.
Tinder Dating App
Tinder is still viewed and used as a hookup app but in more remote areas outside the city, it is still a relevant and useful app for people.
Outside Okcupid possibly, most of the apps I referenced above are popular for cities and suburbs, the further you live, the fewer people are on the dating apps. I know many people who have met their partner or spouse on Tinder but it requires more work to screen out folks for possible red flags.
The League Dating App
In addition to these apps listed above, there are several other apps worth considering. The League which requires a review process claims to have 25% of Jewish users on its platform.
This is a great alternative to J-Date and J-Swipe. It’s a dating app for serious professionals and people like it because of the exclusivity and ability to filter people from your company since it pulls in Linkedin data
Match.com Dating Site
Match.com despite its current lawsuits and investigations is still popular among late 30s-60s year olds primarily because of its desktop option.
A paid subscription is required to read and send messages but at least you can browse all profiles at once and see if its worth spending time and money on. It is still relevant in smaller towns and suburbs outside major cities.
Online Dating As A Black Woman In San Francisco
Dating can be tough in a place like San Francisco but it’s especially tough for black women.
I worked with a number of black women over the years and many of them made drastic life decisions to move out of the area altogether or move from places like Palo Alto and San Francisco to more diverse cities like Oakland.
If you believe the statistics in studies about attractiveness on dating apps, Asian men and black women have the hardest times on dating apps.
Despite San Francisco being ‘diverse’ and praised for its progressiveness, there is some racism and segregation going on, along with a displacement of the black middle class.
It’s tough and while I am hesitant to recommend moving out of SF, it would be misleading for me to say that isn’t something people have resorted to.
San Francisco is an island, and many folks don’t like to leave the city to date others. If you do, or are willing to, your options will increase but don’t expect others to make the trek.
Silicon Valley Uniform, Tech Outfits
Are you guilty of this fashion faux pas?
Although these are my favorite dating apps with a focus on dating and relationships, these apps do not screen folks and some people are not always truthful about what they seek.
It’s up to you to ask questions, be patient, evaluate dates and use good judgment. For additional dating tips, check out this post on how to stay safe when online dating. https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-safety-tips/
Read this post for additional information about gender ratios, studies, surveys and more about dating apps: https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-resource-guide/
Read this post about culture, lifestyle and impact on dating in San Francisco: https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-in-san-francisco/
Online Dating Critique, Makeover For Men & Women
Strategy (App Choice + Timing + First Messages), Photo Critique, Bios + Prompts + Photo Captions, Wardrobe Feedback, Grooming Suggestions, Clothing & Hairstyle Recommendations, Body Language, Smiles, Etiquette & More
-As seen in the NYT, WSJ & More
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About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a dating consultant for men & women and a professional photographer based in San Francisco, servicing clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, and beyond as seen in the NYT, WSJ, SFGate, ABC7News & more.
Previously an analytics professional and user of dating apps himself, he possesses unique insight into the inner workings of dating apps and user behavior. He provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice, image consulting, date planning, screening profiles, ID'ing red flags, and offline techniques for meeting people organically.
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