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There are countless dating apps these days and with that obscure, niche sites that claim to specialize in specific demographics and interests: Farmer’s Only, eHarmony (the first marriage focused dating app), Lumen (Dating Over 50), J-Date (Jewish Singles), Zoosk (not sure who uses this or why), The League (“professionals, with acceptance and matches based on LinkedIn and Facebook profiles”) and so on and so forth.
All these choices can make it hard to choose a dating app that is ideal for you.
10+ years ago, OkCupid and Match.com were safe bets and only games in town with enough market share that you could confidently use without risk of running out of profiles (unless you were too picky, lazy or self-sabotaged your profile photos, bios and messages).
Dating apps then were straightforward – create a profile, upload photos, write a bio, browse profiles, message said person and ask them out on a date.
These days, users are segmented across more apps than ever before which dilutes the user bases across all apps. With that said, be prepared for the boring profiles to fill your like queue.
Best dating apps for doctors – read this. Best dating sites for educated singles, professionals – read this.
For best places to meet singles in SF, read this.
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Intent is more varied than ever. Some apps are viewed as more casual and hookup oriented, while others claim to be relationship focused but don’t do a good job of screening folks.
Unfortunately, apps and technology companies like UberEats and Amazon have altered the mindset of all consumers thinking they can get exactly what they want with a few swipes and clicks. However, dating apps are not like food-ordering or other shopping apps, they are merely introduction apps.
Dating apps should not be expected to screen users, filter out creeps nor weed out hook-up focused individuals – nothing will nor should replace the due diligence and social skills needed to analyze people and profiles, ask questions, be patient and meet in person.
No dating app is perfect but there are some great dating apps out there if you know how to approach them, know which photos are effective, know how to write a bio and have realistic expectations based on your own looks, education, height, age and location.
For those that like to meet people the old fashioned way, check out this post on meeting people in San Francisco.
Tinder vs Bumble vs Hinge: Dating App Comparison
San Francisco Weekly Event Newsletter – Curated Food, Drink, Music, Cultural Events, Classes, Pop-Ups, Concerts, Art Openings, Shows, Volunteer HH, Where To Meet People, Fun Social Events
Weekly curated events list: food, drink, arts, culture, nature, classes, music, pop-ups, crafts, speaker series, galas and more! No sponsored ads, no commissioned links. One-stop shop to events in San Francisco. Click here.
Image Consultant: Wardrobe, Social Skills & Lifestyle
Eddie is an image consultant in San Francisco with clients in NYC, LA, and beyond. He began as a photographer but soon realized clients needed help with their fashion sense, social skills, hobbies & interests.
Clients include VC's, introverts, engineers, doctors, lawyers, men, women, gay/straight, POC, immigrants, divorcees/widows, those new to dating and/or struggling to make friends & build relationships with colleagues.
Below are my favorite dating apps right now that I recommend most to clients:
Bumble Dating App – Bumble San Francisco; SF Dating
Bumble not only has a great female-to-male ratio of users on the site, there is a verification process that other apps do not have and that is in the photo verification process of the registration process. Users must take a photo of themselves in the pose that is requested and user profiles are reviewed.
The other reason I like this dating app is that women no longer have to worry about getting messages from unwanted profiles. You decide which profiles you like and only those are allowed to match with you.
If you don’t like a profile, they cannot message you. The trade-off here is that women need to send the first message to matches to engage in conversation – additionally the window to do so before matches expire is 24 hours. Many women I know hate this part of the app but some like the control here.
Recommended Demographics: 27-45, bigger U.S. cities.
For tips on photos, prompts, first messages and how to reply to messages, check out my Bumble blog posts here: https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-apps/bumble/
Related read: Bumble Speed Dating
Hinge Dating App – Hinge San Francisco
Hinge is perhaps my favorite dating app at the moment given it’s non-swipe focus (requires you to tap vs swipe) but also because of the quality of users.
This dating app requires 6 photos which is great at eliminating profiles without enough photos and also provides excellent prompt possibilities facilitating conversations.
The biggest con about this dating app is that it is extremely buggy. There is a lot of confusion on whether likes and messages were sent and received as well as profiles appearing too much or if they ever will again if you accidentally mark no.
The other complaint is with profile bans and creating new accounts or using different login methods. If you lose phones, use a phone number you don’t have access to, have different info on Facebook than is actually true, your account might be flagged.
Also, if you try to re-create your account to often in an attempt to game the system so your new profile is shown to more people, your profile can be banned or at least penalized and shown to fewer users possibly.
Don’t be creepy, don’t try to game the system, don’t lie about yourself and don’t lose access to your phone, email or facebook account and you will be ok.
Additional Reading: Best Hinge Prompts / Questions
Recommended Demographics: 23-45, bigger for U.S. cities.
Coffee Meets Bagel Dating App
Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a great dating app for relationship focused users. It throttles the number of profiles shown and thus requires more review and time to analyze profiles before you. There are profiles served to you based on your demographics as well as search function as well.
The whole concept of beans and currency is confusing and a bit immature (as you can see in their strong demographics of millennials) but it is popular among 20 and 30 year old in the U.S.
Recommended Demographics: 23-35, bigger U.S. cities. A strong Asian community of users is on this dating app, perhaps more than any other.
Gender Ratios In San Francisco, Male To Female Ratio Bay Area, Gender Ratio Dating Apps SF
OkCupid Dating App
OkCupid is one of the older kids on the block and sometimes overlooked. It is still a solid app for introverts, quirky folks, shy people, people who lead alternative lifestyles, non-monogamous folks, and people who are a little more expressive than the character limits allow on sites like Tinder.
Tinder Dating App – Tinder San Francisco
Tinder is still viewed and used as a hookup app but in more remote areas outside the city, it is still a relevant and useful app for people.
Outside Okcupid possibly, most of the apps I referenced above are popular for cities and suburbs, the further you live, the fewer people are on the dating apps. I know many people who have met their partner or spouse on Tinder but it requires more work to screen out folks for possible red flags.
The League Dating App
In addition to these apps listed above, there are several other apps worth considering. The League which requires a review process claims to have 25% of Jewish users on its platform.
This is a great alternative to J-Date and J-Swipe. It’s a dating app for serious professionals and people like it because of the exclusivity and ability to filter people from your company since it pulls in Linkedin data
Bumble Profile Tips!
Great Bumble profiles are more than just witty prompts and good photos. Learn how to make a good Bumble profile, how many prompts to use, what information to put in a profile, whether or not you should activate Bumble 'Best Photo' and what interests to list in your profile to attract the type of person you seek.
Match.com Dating Site
Match.com despite its current lawsuits and investigations is still popular among late 30s-60s year olds primarily because of its desktop option.
A paid subscription is required to read and send messages but at least you can browse all profiles at once and see if its worth spending time and money on. It is still relevant in smaller towns and suburbs outside major cities.
Online Dating As A Black Woman In San Francisco
Dating can be tough in a place like San Francisco but it’s especially tough for black women.
I worked with a number of black women over the years and many of them made drastic life decisions to move out of the area altogether or move from places like Palo Alto and San Francisco to more diverse cities like Oakland.
If you believe the statistics in studies about attractiveness on dating apps, Asian men and black women have the hardest times on dating apps.
Despite San Francisco being ‘diverse’ and praised for its progressiveness, there is some racism and segregation going on, along with a displacement of the black middle class.
Deleted OkCupid Attractiveness Study
It’s tough and while I am hesitant to recommend moving out of SF, it would be misleading for me to say that isn’t something people have resorted to.
San Francisco is an island, and many folks don’t like to leave the city to date others. If you do, or are willing to, your options will increase but don’t expect others to make the trek.
Bay Area Indian Dating – Best Indian Dating Sites, Apps San Francisco, Silicon Valley, Bay Area Desi Singles, Bay Area Punjabi, Best Indian Dating Apps
Check back soon. For now, read this.
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Hinge has seen a major uptick in gay/lgbt community since Pete Buttigieg announced he met his husband on the app. It’s great for those seeking relationships and more intentional dating.
For those seeking hookups, Grindr is the way to go. You are more likely to run into someone lying about their intentions on the app just like you would with straight guys on Tinder.
ENM, Open Relationship, Poly Dating Apps
Read this.
San Francisco Matchmakers, Silicon Valley Matchmaking Services, Bay Area Matchmakers
Click here.
Silicon Valley Uniform, Tech Outfits
Are you guilty of this fashion faux pas?
Consider This – Best Dating Apps In San Francisco
Although these are my favorite dating apps and online dating services with a focus on dating and relationships, these apps do not screen folks and some people are not always truthful about what they seek.
It’s up to you to ask questions, be patient, evaluate dates and use good judgment. For additional dating tips, check out this post on how to stay safe when online dating.
Read this post for additional information about gender ratios, studies, surveys and more about dating apps check out this guide.
Read this post about culture, lifestyle and impact on dating in San Francisco: https://eddie-hernandez.com/dating-in-san-francisco/
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I am not a fan of structured singles events but do recommend checking out regular fun events to meet people. Some of my top places and events to meet singles in SF here.
San Francisco Hookups, Bay Area Hookups
Try Tinder, Grindr or Feeld.
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User counts start to diminish with age as does the quality of users as people become more stubborn. Best dating sites could be Match, OkCupid, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge depending on gender, orientation and exact location.
Are We Dating The Same Guy, San Francisco Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/415842533678804/
Dating Coach Services
Photos, Profile Reviews, Navigating Apps, Image Consulting, Date Ideas, Where To Meet Singles, Offline Efforts, Communication/Social Skills, Screening Profiles, Reading People, Relocation Advice & More.
Ideal Clients: Women, Men, Gay & Straight Individuals Seeking Relationships
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The League Dating App Review: Dating Site For Professionals
Matchmaking Bay Area: Matchmaker Reviews, Dating Apps vs Matchmakers (Best Matchmakers San Francisco, Top-Rated Matchmakers SF)
Trending Read: How To Meet People In SF
Best Places To Meet Men/Women In SF – Best Places To Meet Singles In San Francisco
Popular Read: Dating In New York: Dating Culture In New York
Controversial Read: Dating Someone Who Works In Tech
Best Dating Site For Women: Pros, Cons of Dating Apps For Women (Best Dating Apps For Women)
Best Dating Site For Asian People: Coffee Meets Bagel Review
Best Dating Sites For Geeks, Dating App For Artists, Introverts & More: OkCupid App Review
Best Dating Sites For Men – Best Dating Apps For Guys (Best Dating Apps For Men)
Best Dating Apps Over 50 – Best Dating Sites Over 50
Best Dating Sites For Over 40 – Best Dating Apps For Over 40
Date Ideas In San Francisco: Tips On Where To Go For Dates In SF
Best Dating Sites For Professions – Best Dating Sites For Highly Educated Singles
Tawkify Review: Pros and Cons of Tawkify, It’s Just Lunch
Best Gay Apps, Best LGBTQ Dating Apps: Dating App Reviews For LGBTQ
Dating An Engineer: What It’s Like Dating An Engineer
About Eddie Hernandez
Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He has insight into algorithms as well as a keen understanding of dating cultures across locations, demographics, and orientations.
He helps with profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & where to meet singles. Whether you are a POC, short guy, introvert, engineer, or just struggling with dating, he can help you be efficient & strategic.
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