Online Dating Issues, Why Dating Apps Don’t Work, Online Dating Problems & Solutions, Downsides Of Online Dating, Biggest Problems With Dating Apps

The proliferation of apps has enabled consumers to obtain items and experiences instantly with a few keystrokes and swipes of a smartphone.

Lyft makes it easier for people to hail rides, Caviar makes it easier for people to order food, and Venmo makes it easier to pay people; dating apps do not make it easier for people to date. See dating in San Francisco.

Unlike pizzas, avocado toast and cab rides, people are not commodities that are interchangeable. Problems with online dating are numerous and knowing their limitations is key to avoiding wasting your time and energy. Below are online dating problems to be aware of and what to look out for.

Related read: Online dating myths


When To Avoid Online Dating – Dating App Problems, Problems With Online Dating

Everyone is different and every facet of courting, communication and engagement is unique not only to each person but more so to the dynamic combination of two people yielding unlimited combinations of feelings, responses, interpretations, expectations and chemistry.

Dating apps are a tool and like all tools you need to be trained on how to use them effectively. Lack of effort, bad photos, poor writing skills are all reasons not to use dating apps in addition to remote locations, mental health and unrealistic expectations.

Using dating apps in lieu of meeting people offline is not a good idea. You need social and offline skills to do well on dating apps.

Related read: Hiring A Dating Profile Writer, Online Dating Ghostwriter


Problems Online Dating, Issues With Dating Apps


Unrealistic Expectations With Dating Apps, Lack of Self-Awareness – Dating App Myths

There is no blueprint to succeed in dating; there are exceptions to every rule and no matter how much effort someone puts into screening people, fine-tuning your wish-list of characteristics and identifying  deal-breakers, one will never be able to shield yourself 100% from heartbreak, ghosting, spammers or toxic people.

Heck, people are notorious for picking the wrong app for them based on their age, location, intentions and lifestyle.

One can definitely minimize exposure to such instances through screening, questions and patience. Sound familiar? It should. This is what people do offline when meeting a bar, bumping into each other at the grocery store, wait in line at coffee shops etc.

The ability to read people, body language and communication skills helps to identify red flags in others – not everyone possesses these skills.


How To Approach Dating Apps: Dating App Misconceptions, Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work

Dating apps and dating sites are not designed to make dating easier than traditional offline methods. Online dating is a misnomer. What they are designed to do is provide another channel for people to introduce themselves to others beyond the physical parameters of everyday life (neighborhoods, schools, workplaces etc.).

If you lack the social, emotional and interpersonal skills to engage with people offline then there is a high chance you might have bad luck with online dating.

Dating apps do not solve fundamental social problems you might be experiencing or address interpersonal issues you might be dealing with; they merely provide access to an expanded pool of people around you.

Before you decide to take the dating app plunge, ask yourself: Is Online Dating Worth It?

Many clients I work with for online dating photos think that the combination of an app and new photos will solve their dating woes — this could not be further from the truth. If you are wondering why you are struggling with online dating, perhaps you should look no further than what you are doing offline.

New Blog - Modern Dating By Eddie

This blog is for those that are new to dating, have little experience dating, are confused by ‘the rules’, keep making the same mistakes or are frustrated with dating in today’s culture.

Pitfalls Of Online Dating, Why Dating Apps Don’t Work For Guys, Online Dating Issues

Dating apps enable introductions and access to more people around you — they cannot solve the other problems you might be facing. Dating takes time, effort, patience and a good amount of trial and error.

No app will provide shortcuts for you to navigate the dating waters. No one is perfect, everyone has their baggage, imperfections and faults. The purpose of dating apps is to introduce you to others and date offline. If the offline equivalent of dating apps doesn’t exist then don’t expect online dating to do that job.

Online dating is tough, but it doesn’t have to be. Many people never invite unbiased feedback of their bios, app choices, photos, wardrobe, 1st impressions and more. Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results. Don’t let this happen to you.

Most people lack self-awareness and fail to realize they attract who they are, not what they seek.


How To Approach Dating Apps, What To Expect From Online Dating

Online dating should be fun. You will inevitably get catfished, go on a terrible date, get height-fished or even meet someone who is married or is ethically polygamous – it happens to everyone at least once.

The purpose of dating is to discover yourself, get to know others, have fun, try out new places, explore hobbies and see if a romantic spark exists.

The purpose of dating apps is to figure out if you want to go a date with someone. The purpose of date #1 is to figure out if you want to go on date #2.

If you are trying to figure whether the person in front of you on the early dates would be a great parent, is the love of your life or is someone you want to marry, you are rushing it.

Love at first sight rarely happens. Things take time. If you try to rush the process you will only drive the person away with your obsession and craziness.

Sure, some people meet and get married in 6 months, but that is not the norm, that is a super rare expectation.

Not everyone has their life together, knows what they want, is physically as attractive as your friend nor is as picky as you are about marrying to breed vs marrying to spend their life with someone they love.


Alternatives To Dating Apps

How to meet men, women without dating apps. Alternatives to online dating. Where to meet women, men in real life. How to meet women, men offline, in-person.

Why Is Online Dating A Bad Idea? Is Online Dating Depressing? Online Dating Issues

Dating apps imply that success is relatively easy, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I estimate 50% of people on dating apps should delete their profiles altogether because of awful photos, lack of patience, poor etiquette, inability to start conversations or move on to dates.

Dating apps give people a false sense of hope given the speed and ease of creating a profile. Like all things in life, if something like trying to find a partner is not worth significant time and effort, why even bother given it less than your all?

How To Use Dating Apps Effectively: Tips For Online Dating Success

Dating and love is not like planning your B-School application, working towards a promotion or achieving financial benchmarks. Dating is more qualitative, less logic. It requires you to be vulnerable, take chances, use good judgment, make mistakes, communicate effectively and learn to trust others.

There is no exact formula, just rough blueprints that are often tossed aside when the unexpected happens in life. It’s more reactionary than it is planning. Additionally, you should never rely on dating apps 100% and never stop meeting people offline.

Having success with online dating requires time, effort, awareness, luck, photos, communication skills and more.


No Likes On Hinge, Bumble, No Matches On Hinge, Bumble – Issues With Online Dating Apps

If you manage to get no likes nor matches on apps after a few weeks, months. Take a break. Chances are there is something wrong with your profile, expectations, swiping, writing, messaging, approach, app choice, facial expressions, body language, grooming habits, lifestyle choices or realistic expectations.

Insanity is doing the same thing, expecting different results.

Read this about not getting likes nor matches on dating apps.


This Is Why You Are Single

Reasons why you are still single. I'm a nice guy, why am I single? I'm a good woman, why am I still single? Why can't I find anyone?

The Problem With Online Dating, What To Do When Dating Apps Don’t Work

Dating apps are merely a tool. You have to know how to use them, and you have to know if they are the right tool for you. Dating apps do work, but they are not for everyone.

Dating apps are not easier than meeting people offline. They require some similar skills and some unique skills in order to do well. Why dating apps don’t work may have more to do with the user rather than the tool.

Related read: Online Dating vs Traditional Dating (Dating Apps vs Offline Dating)


Online Dating Controversy – Negative Effects Of Online Dating

Dating apps prey on lonely folks and those that are not ready to date. They bombard users with bells and whistles but don’t make it clear that in many cases, no amount of paid features will help you succeed unless you work on yourself first.

They don’t make it obvious that there are fake profiles on the sites, that likes or matches mean anything, or that dating apps are not necessarily easier than meeting folks offline.


Guys On Dating Apps Are Losers

Anonymity yields bad behavior. Lack of accountability also suffers from lack of punishment for poor behavior. There are some good guys on apps but if you think all men are losers/trash, then that is likely why you are single:

  • unable to use good judgment,
  • having a hard time avoiding time-wasters,
  • using the wrong apps
  • using the wrong photos and poor prompts/effort on profiles
  • swiping right on people you should be swiping left on (avoid red flags)
  • being too trusting of strangers too quickly/often.

There are trash people everywhere, don’t expect the trash to take itself out. 


About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, & beyond ), as seen in the NYT & Bumble). He helps w/ profiles, photos, wardrobe, messaging, date ideas, red flags, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, social skills & offline efforts.