Dating As A Therapist, Dating A Psychologist, Pros & Cons

Is Dating As A Therapist Hard? Pros & Cons Of Dating Psychologists. Should You Date A Therapist? Reasons Not To Date A Psychologist

If you are on dating apps, you are likely to encounter many therapists on dating apps (we’ll get to the reasons why later). They are just like everyone else in that they are people who are seeking to meet people outside their routine, social circles and day to day life.

There are many stereotypes about therapists and psychologists and I am here to debunk some myths, help you understand what to look out for and help you become a better dater in the process.

In my line of work, I cross paths with therapists and psychologists regularly. Sometimes I get referrals from them, sometimes I refer clients out to them if their needs are beyond my scope of expertise. Some therapists hire me directly to help them with their love lives, others reach out to me for interviews/quotes for advice columns and articles.

Why Are There So Many Therapists On Dating Apps?

This is usually the first question I get from clients regarding therapists. Like doctors, business owners, and teachers, these individuals do not usually have the social outlets and comradery that other work industries have like tech companies, finance/banking or retail/service.

Therapists and psychologists likely don’t have the commutes other workers have thanks to offices, WFH or remote location setup. Similarly, the only people they encounter outside other therapists and psychologists usually are clients whom they are not allowed to date.

Dating As A Therapist, Psychologist

Dating as a therapist or psychologist can be difficult and lonely at times. Many professionals can be so immersed in their work that they need to balance out their days, lives to provide a soothing outlet such as painting.

Unlike other professions where people can more or less turn off their brain and not think about work, a therapist is likely to need more time to decompress and not carry things over outside of work. There is a reason why therapists also see therapists themselves.

The nature of the work can be rather lonely, given most therapists are solo practitioners or are unable to talk about their work that day, which is something most couples regularly do after work, at the dinner table etc.

What Is It Like Being A Therapist These Days?

Being a therapist now is harder than ever.

• The number of people who should see a therapist but don’t is at an all-time high.
• The number of people who want to see a therapist who can’t afford to is at an all-time high.
• The number of therapists leaving the profession is at an all-time high.
• The cost of training (time/money) to become a therapist is at an all-time high.
• The number of therapists who need therapy themselves is at an all-time high.
• The tech companies trying to cut into earnings of therapists is at an all-time high.
• The number of therapists ditching their offices and doing video only is at an all-time high.
• The severity of client issues is awful (covid, isolation, layoffs, costs of living, dating, loss of friends, wfh, addiction to phone/social media/technology, lack of exercise/sun, delayed family planning etc).

There is a lot of trauma out there, much of it untreated. Take care of yourselves first and foremost.

Dating A Psychologist, Therapist Stereotypes

Dating as a therapist or psychologist can be tough, especially for women. The general trend of women out gaining men in advanced degrees can reduce the dating pool, as many men may be insecure about dating someone who is smarter or more accomplished than they are. Similarly, a lot of women may look to date equals, which can drastically reduce their dating pool given men typically don’t filter as aggressively on that front.

The other main concern men may have about dating a woman who is a therapist or psychologist is that they may feel like they will be under the microscope sort of speak or vastly outmatched when it comes to problems and situations that arise during the course of dating or relationships.

Lastly, a lot of men are not great at communication, which is the cornerstone of these professions. If a man is used to retreating, avoiding confrontation or feels like the conversations always feel like a therapist/client instead of a partner to partner situation, it can feel like the relationship will never be on equal footing (this is less to do with the therapist and more about men or other partners in general).

Similarly, a lot of female therapists can feel like the person they are dating is there for therapy themselves – this is not enjoyable one bit. 

Therapists, Psychologists On Dating Apps

Like many young men, therapists use dating apps as a way to meet people easily or at least beyond their everyday lives, social circles and routines. The problem is, dating apps should only be one outlet for people and never the only nor main way to meet people. 

Therapists and psychologists tend to be very interpersonal, private people, and that is hard to break the mold when creating a dating profile. The way you see yourself is usually not the way people see you.

Should therapists use dating apps? Sure, why not but they should also be meeting people offline and in person. Beyond that, they need to try hard to have things beyond work which can be repetitive, draining and something unconnected to oneself.

Related read: Expert Advice on Dating When You Have Anxiety (Bumble)

Pros And Cons Of Dating A Therapist, Should I Date A Psychologist?

That ultimately depends on the individual. Therapists and psychologists can be extremely patient, thoughtful and great listeners. They are giving people of themselves, their time and their energy. That said, they usually demand others to put in the work, come ready for a relationship and don’t have much patience for time wasters, narcissists and those who are not mature nor emotionally intelligent.

If you have trouble viewing a partner as an equal or want someone you can walk all over, chances are, a therapist or a psychologist is not for you. Similarly, fights can often involve a lot of silence, processing vs at the moment passion, arguments and screaming – some people hate this.