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Dating apps are one of the most common ways for people to meet these days, this is particularly true of people over 50 who are the fastest-growing (as a percentage) segment of users on dating sites.

As people get older, it becomes harder and harder to meet people organically. What typically happens is that people become more and more stubborn and set in their ways. They also become busier with their lives (with work and/or with kids) and start to lose friends (move away and via divorce).

Folks also stop making new friends to offset the lost of friends, which is pretty common given most people meet their friends in school, work and kids schools. The loss of friends wouldn’t be as bad in of itself, but given it’s much easier to date and meet singles with a friend and through being set up, it’s it doubly bad.

Given recent trends, more and more people are giving online dating a try and using dating apps is no longer the stigma it use to be (unless you have a cringy profile).

What To Know Before Using Dating Apps

Dating apps are a great way to meet people you otherwise would not meet (school, work, social circles, neighborhood etc) but it’s important to understand what to expect. Dating apps are meant to be used sparingly, using them too much or for all your dating efforts is a recipe for disaster.

Dating sites are basically introduction tools – nothing more, nothing less. Just like someone can lie about their age when you meet at a bar, they can lie about themselves on an app. Being too trusting and over-qualifying people too quickly/easily will lead to failure on dating apps. Be excited but be cautious.

Dating apps require thick skin. You can’t put your self-worth into apps. You have to learn to accept and deal with rejection. If you are not in a good place mentally, you might be worse off on dating apps as harassment, ghosting and disappointment is fairly common.

Online dating is not a shortcut. Dating apps are not easy. You can’t use apps to make up for lack of exercise, poor grooming/hygiene, boring hobbies/interests, bad lifestyle choices, unrealistic expectations, or loneliness. If you can’t meet people offline, you are likely going to struggle on apps as well, as these tools are a reflection of who you are and what you have to offer.

Paying for dating apps doesn’t mean more success. Paying for dating apps doesn’t make you more attractive, interesting or marketable. You have to invest in yourself. In some cases, that means relocating, expanding hobbies and interests, resetting expectations and understanding that you have to be ready to date and not everyone wants what you want despite what they write.

Just because you have a great career or financial freedom doesn’t mean you can date a model or someone younger than you.

Related reading: What To Expect From Online Dating

Online Dating Coaching For Men, Women

Swiping etiquette, timing, app choice, first messages, photo order, facial expressions, filters, paid features, screening profiles, reading people, ID'ing red flags, date planning, cutting-off liars & time-wasters.

I will help you leverage education, personality, ethnicity, lifestyle choices such as religion, politics, education, family planning as well as how to avoid burnout while navigating dating apps and online dating culture. As seen in the NYT, Bumble & More.

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The best apps will vary across genders, orientations, and locations. There is no perfect app nor is there a best site. If you live in a remote area, likely no app will work for you, as there is not enough traction and engagement to sustain activity.

Similarly, all dating apps are tools. They take time in best-case scenarios. You invested years of your life into careers, finances, savings, health etc – dating success requires similar effort but with less focused structure and different skill sets.

The best apps will range but can be, OkCupid, Hinge, Bumble, Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel. Users fluctuate across all these apps and people pause accounts and reactivate profiles all the time. I generally tell clients to stay away from OurTime, EliteSingles, Eharmony etc.

Yes, I realize people use Tinder for friends, hookups, tour guides etc. but you are just as likely to meet your spouse on Tinder as you are able to come across a creep on Hinge or Bumble. Use good judgment. Create a good profile. Rather than using more apps, or different apps, evaluate your profile, bios, photos, and prompts first. So much self-sabotage exists on dating apps.

One should also note that the older you get, the fewer people are on the apps. The number of profiles started to dwindle drastically with age.

Related read: Tinder vs Bumble vs Hinge (Dating App Comparison)

Dating Coach Services - Men & Women

First date ideas, wardrobe styling, places to meet singles, body language, vocal intonation, eye contact, conversation skills, how to be more approachable, grooming, hygiene, hair, wardrobe, style, hobbies, lifestyle choices, reducing biases, weeding out creeps & time-wasters and more.

Not sure where to start? Dating apps vs matchmakers vs meeting people organically offline, let's chat! Clients from NYC, LA, Chicago, DC, Boston, Austin, Seattle, London, Sydney & beyond. As seen in the NYT, Bumble & More

Dating Help For Men, Women

It’s impossible to troubleshoot one’s dating life without context. There are so many variables. Dating apps don’t work for most people as they have no idea what they are doing or they lack effort, focus, self-work or realistic expectations. Online dating is not meant to replace meeting people offline.

Using old photos, lying about your age, and being stubborn about your hobbies, interests and lifestyle choices will make it harder to do well offline and online. In most cases, people think dating apps will solve their dating woes. It won’t.

They don’t work if you don’t know how to communicate effectively, screen profiles, read people use good judgment, are jaded or are lonely/depressed.

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About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie is a dating coach for men & women and a professional photographer based in San Francisco (clients in NYC, LA, Chicago, Seattle, London, DC, Boston, Sydney), as seen in the NYT, WSJ, SFGate, ABC7News, Bumble). Analytics geek who possesses unique insight into dating app algorithms as well as a keen understanding of dating cultures across locations, demographics, ages, ethnicities, genders and orientations.

He provides guidance on apps, bios, prompts, wardrobe, messaging, image consulting, date planning, red flags, time wasters & creeps, lifestyle choices, hobbies, grooming/hygiene, communication, confidence & where to meet singles. Whether you are a POC, short guy, introvert, engineer, successful executive or woman over 40, he can help you be more efficient, knowledgeable and effective in your dating life.

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